Color of Distress
by pookieisaturtle
Summary: Legolas battles horrifying inner voices that taunts him into becoming a living shell of his former self, and refuses offered help from his friends until he begins to do terrible things...
1. I am fine

Color of Distress 

Disclaimer – Nope, Lord of the Rings is not mine at all. ^_^

A/N: Whoo, this is my first Lord of the Rings fic, so if I've messed up on any sort of factual information, please do correct me. Oh my… *runs to the calendar* 18 more days 'till The Two Tower comes out…. I can't wait!!

Chapter 1 –  "I am fine."

                "…for we went needlessly into the Mines of Moria." Legolas stopped, confused all of a sudden. He tried focusing his mind on something as Galadriel went on to say something, but it came back into the same old chorus it had been repeating since Moria.  

Mithrandir? Flames… shadow….  Where are you now? 

Celeborn now spoke.

 Legolas was disoriented. He barely remembered how they arrived at Lothlorien; and only vaguely recalled meeting Haldir. He ached to go away on his own to mourn in solitude for the death of his friend.  For the remainder of the audience he doggedly stood with the fellowship, mind blank, and his face was completely devoid of any emotion, save his eyes that were glassy with tears.

I am tired.

 The days at Lothlorien were peaceful and lulling.

"Too peaceful for a warrior," mused Legolas aloud, wandering around the ancient oaks.  His step faltered. "If I can now call myself one…"

Why did I not run to help Mithrandir?

It was the balrog…

"You are a coward." The statement was cold and hard.

Legolas started and searched intently for the speaker of the voice. I would have heard him approach…  "Who is there?" his voice echoed faintly through the trees. There was no reply.        

He bit his lip and looked around. There was no one. The words came from his own mouth. He began to feel the stirrings of panic in him.

I can't even control my thoughts anymore…Mithrandir, what is happening?

Mithrandir, help me!

But he is dead.

So then the trees. The trees will help.

Trembling, Legolas climbed up into one and rested on the first strong branch. He leaned his head onto its thick trunk, closing his eyes and breathing in the air deeply. When he opened his eyes again, he felt better and began singing a soft song to the tree, gaining a comfort in doing something so familiar.

"So now I have found you, Legolas, son of Thranduil." 

He carefully leaned forward and peered down at the forest floor. "Who is there?" Legolas said, repeating his earlier question. This better not be like before…it better not be… me.

"It is only Haldir, so you should not sound so suspicious. 'Tis a lovely tune you sing."     

Legolas jumped lightly off the branch. "Aye, it is the song I have always sung in the forest." He said, trying to avoid Haldir's stare.

"Orophin and Rumil are eager to meet with you again," Haldir said carefully. "But I wanted to speak with you before." 

"Of course." Legolas replied, wondering what this was about.

"What troubles you so? I had noticed that you were very distant when we first found you and the fellowship. Something is not right."

Legolas became rooted to the ground.

What troubles me?

Mithrandir's death… and that I could have prevented it…

Nay, it's more than that….

Then what is it?

I myself do not know anymore.

"Legolas?" Haldir said, trying to get the younger elf's attention. He had drifted off into his own thoughts and had forgotten about him. "Legolas?" he repeated. 

Legolas suddenly sighed heavily, his face an impenetrable mask. "Nothing ails me, save for the fact that I cannot stay in Lothlorien for as long as I would desire. I am fine." He found himself growing irritated at Haldir's worried look. "I am fine," he said again curtly. "I have mourned for Mithrandir and I will recover from this loss."

"Legolas, there must be more, for even the Lady is worried. When you stood before her with the fellowship, she sensed a deep strife in you." 

"Then she is wrong," He raised his stormy eyes to meet Haldir's, who was surprised to find such anger in them. "For I am fine."

Am I?

He ate dinner with the fellowship that night, and spoke not a word. Legolas frowned and set his food down, looking into nothingness. 

What use am I if I cannot save the lives of my friends?

Do not think that. You have in fact safeguarded a life…

Whose?

Your own, coward.

He never imagined that his own mind could taunt him so cruelly. Legolas began shaking, and missed Aragorn's startled look.

Afraid of a balrog…

Why, you practically threw Gandalf into the abyss!

"No!" he exclaimed unexpectedly. "I won't hear of it anymore!" He stood up, aware of everyone's gaze on him. Legolas laughed quickly. "Do not look at me so," he chided. "I am not crazy. I was merely listening to a merry tale being told by two of my folk."

Aragorn considered this. "I did not hear it."

"It was high up in the trees, too far away for the ears of men to catch it." Legolas said, hoping it would be left at that.

"Well, tell us, then." Piped Merry. "Why didn't you want to hear the rest of the story if it was funny?"

Legolas' eyes clouded over, and for a moment he was at a loss. "Nay, you wouldn't understand it." He said finally, and quickly turned away. "Master Dwarf, since you have found so much beauty in these woods, would you mind accompanying me to explore this place further?" he asked to divert attention away from his outburst.

Gimli was pleasantly surprised. "Well Master Elf, that is an offer I cannot turn down."

Legolas nearly missed the answer as he tried to quash that dark, mocking voice that threatened to rise again. "Then let us be on our way."  

Are you forgetting yourself? You shame the elves by walking in companionship with a dwarf!

I do not prejudice against the dwarves, and not Gimli especially.  

Letting Mithrandir die…

Befriending a dwarf…

You are truly pitiable, Prince of Mirkwood.

Gimli was alarmed when Legolas fell against a statue, his face a mixture of terror and anger, crying out in an elven tongue. 

What ails me?

You ail yourself.

Legolas grasped Gimli's outreached hand unsteadily, and allowed himself to be seated on a stone bench. He gazed stolidly past Gimli, ashamed that he was witness to his moment of weakness. 

The dwarf looked uncertainly at Legolas' empty face.

"Do not worry." Legolas said finally, looking over his head. "I am…ill."

"Ill?" Gimli said incredulously. "My friend, I believe that elves never fall ill. You jest with me."

"Nay, 'tis…." Legolas groped for an excuse. "'Tis what my folk call the sea-longing." This wasn't true, as he hadn't even been close to the sea, but he was strangely satisfied with fooling Gimli. "I will one day have to cross the sea and leave Middle Earth." At least that wasn't a complete lie.

"Ah." said Gimli. "Perhaps you want to rest?"

Yes, rest like the child you are.

He nearly jumped. Instead, Legolas shook his head hard. "I feel like climbing these ancient trees."

Gimli stepped away uncomfortably. "I do not get on well with trees… let us go back."

"Then we will take the way of the trees back!" Legolas cried in a high voice. Without waiting for a reply, he swiftly hoisted himself up into the nearest tree. "Come Gimli, you shall be lost without me!"

"This is madness, elf!" Gimli muttered, smiling in spite of himself, relieved that Legolas seemed to be himself again. He ran, following the sound of the rustling leaves and Legolas' light footsteps. "Exploration indeed. Hmpf."

The rustling suddenly ceased. "I'm sure you will think it is funny to lose me in these woods, Legolas. However, I should like to accompany young Frodo on the rest of the journey." He said loudly. Gimli became unnerved when Legolas did not reply. "Legolas?"

Grumbling, he decided it was a ploy to get him to climb a tree. He tucked his axe under his belt and jumped for the lowest branch he could find, and slowly climbed until he reached a large branch. "This cannot be safe…" he said, grasping the branch and crawling to the middle. He pulled out the leaves and twigs that were caught in his beard.

His eyes saw a silver clad figure sitting on the opposite branch, legs dangling down.

"There you are," Gimli called, slightly dizzy from the height. "This is the last time you will see me at such a leafy height. What… Legolas?"

Legolas was rocking back and forth, murmuring in a hoarse voice. His eyes were blank and unseeing, his face set in a mask. A tear slid down his cheek. 

Gimli watched in horror as he leaned too far forward and began to lose his balance uncaringly. "No!" Gimli yelled, and jumped across without thinking, grabbing Legolas' shoulders.

The wind was knocked out of him as they hit the ground, and Gimli's ears were ringing. Legolas sat up and blinked like he had just awoken from sleep. 

Footsteps approached quickly, and an elf appeared. "What has happened here?" he demanded, surveying the two.

"Master Celeborn," Gimli said. "I do not know what is wrong with Legolas. He just fell out of the tree in a trance."

Legolas stood up, looking miffed. "I am perfectly fine. I just lost my balance, that was all."

"Lost your balance?" Gimli growled, getting to his feet. "You were sitting on a branch and - "

"Thank you, Master Gimli." Celeborn interrupted, giving him a warning look with his eyes. "If you follow that path, you will find yourself with the rest of your friends. I will stay with Legolas for now." 

Gimli thought the better of protesting. With a last worried glance at his friend, he tramped off.

Celeborn waited for the dwarf to leave before speaking. "Do not tell me you are fine, Prince of Mirkwood. You have said nothing but that, but you are anything but that." He said, taking Legolas by the arm. "I can see in your eyes that you are troubled greatly, and by more than Mithrandir's death. You will come with me to see Galadriel." 

"You worry too much," Legolas said dismissively to hide his embarrassment.

"Do I?" Celeborn said, walking quickly with Legolas in stride. "Then why is it that Estel is also worried? Even a dwarf is disquieted by your behavior."

"My behavior is that of any other elf. Are you telling me that the dwarves and Estel are worried for every one of us?" Legolas said, and he laughed hollowly, a sad attempt at his former merriment.

Celeborn remained silent, but continued moving on.

I do not wish to see Galadriel…

And I know why…. you're afraid she'll hear your thoughts… 

You are wrong. It is because I cannot control my thoughts.

And… 

I am afraid.

"Aragorn!" said Gimli in a rush, coming back down the path. "Aragorn!"

"What is it?" He asked, and raised his eyebrows when he noticed that Legolas was missing. "Where is Legolas?"

"With Celeborn." Gimli replied, sitting down. "I fear for Legolas. He is distant, and acts very strangely now. He has told me it is the sea-longing."

"Sea-longing? Legolas has never been near a sea." Aragorn said. "But he said that to you? That he was afflicted with sea-longing?"

"Yes." Gimli replied gruffly. He hesitated for a moment before continuing. "When we were out, Legolas was climbing in trees while I followed on the ground. I could not hear his moving after a while, so I went up to see where he was. Legolas was sitting far out… and he was trembling… talking to himself… and he shed a tear. And then he fell out of the tree."

"Is he injured?"

"Nay, I caught him and he fell on me." Gimli said, pausing. "I do not understand this. He mourns for Gandalf, but to become like this…"

"I do not understand this either." Aragorn said, looking up at the sky. "I had spoken with Celeborn, because I noticed at dinner Legolas was disheartened… nay, not disheartened… but empty, almost. It is like he has retreated into himself. And for an elf like him to cry…" he trailed of, lines of worry appearing on his forehead.

"I wish to help him," Gimli said quietly. "But I do not think he wants to be helped."

To be continued, of course. 

Reviews will be appreciated. (When are reviews not appreciated? Well, they wouldn't be if they were flames, but I guess criticism is sometimes necessary as well. I'd better stop. I'm rambling now. ^_^)


	2. I am immortal

Color of Distress

Disclaimer – Still not mine…. And I have included a bit of a poem, "Requiem," by Robert Louis Stevenson in this chapter. So that is his as well, and not mine. 

A/N: About 2 weeks left before the Two Towers!!! (runs out and calls 20 people to announce it.) Sorry…ahem. I'm just a bit excited.  I was trying to update faster, but a math and history test crept up upon me unnoticed… so… I had to deal with that first. I nearly died. ^_^ Anyway, here's the next chapter!

Chapter 2 – "I am immortal!"

Legolas stood before Galadriel, shifting uncomfortably and glancing everywhere but at her.

"Prince of Mirkwood, why is your heart so heavy and face so long?" Galadriel asked in her pleasing voice.

The question was met with sullen silence. 

Celeborn sighed. "I believe that Legolas has told Gimli that he is troubled by the sea-longing."

If this surprised Legolas, he didn't show it. "You have been eavesdropping." He said quietly.

Galadriel and Celeborn allowed this comment to pass. "Is this true?" she asked.

"No." he answered quite simply, and without any emotion. "I did not want to trouble Gimli." He raised his clear eyes to finally meet Galadriel's. "And I do not wish to trouble you either."

"It is kind of you to think that way," Galadriel said, and laid a hand on his shoulder. "But you should know that I would like to be troubled with this, if only to help you."

"You cannot help me." It came out coldly. Legolas flinched inwardly as he allowed the voice to respond for him. He felt weak inside, and thought he might collapse.

That is correct. You are now beyond hope.

"What is this new voice?" Galadriel asked suddenly. "You are not beyond any hope, son of Thranduil."

"So you now eavesdrop on my thoughts, too." Legolas whispered, backing away. "I shall find no peace here, knowing that spies are about me."

"These thoughts are not your own." She stated, studying him intently with ancient eyes. "So I therefore have not looked in on your thoughts."

She lies…

But they are a part of me… are they not my own?

She lies….

She would not lie.

And how would you know this?

She would not lie!

Legolas smiled vacantly to hide his fear. The voice was louder, more insistent, more difficult to counter by himself. 

"I would not lie to you, Legolas." Galadriel said at last. "And I am glad you think so. You will fight his voice until it is naught but a whisper, and I will think of a way to help you, for I have no answers right now. You are strong, even though this haunts you, and I believe you will defeat this."

You cannot defeat yourself.

Forgetting his usual demeanor of calmness, he looked at Galadriel with terrified eyes as he heard it said, which was quickly replaced by a look of complacency. Legolas bowed his head to her, and left the room, suppressing shudders.

She watched him leave with a troubled air. "I am worried." she turned to Celeborn. "Make sure someone is always with him… I fear that the voice will fill his head if he is left alone with his thoughts."

Legolas was in no hurry to make his way back to his friends, knowing that they would keep pestering him with questions and worried looks. He moved slowly, and any passing elf might have thought he was taking in the sights of Lothlorien luxuriously. However, they did not see his face, how his eyes were filled with despair as he fought with his inner self.

He walked blindly down a long flight of stairs, wondering detachedly how he could be so angry and frightened at the same time. 

"They see everything here," he said, trailing his fingers over the gilded railing. "Everything… and my thoughts…" He became silent as he heard footsteps draw near.

"Ah, Legolas!" Aragorn appeared before him around the curve of the staircase. "I was looking for you."

"No doubt to worry over me needlessly," Legolas muttered, walking past him.

Aragorn caught his arm and made him stop. "It is not needlessly," he said firmly, and went on. "You hide behind a cold mask, and are not yourself." He shook the elf gently to make sure he was still listening. "I am your friend. Tell me what it is, and you had better not say it is the sea-longing."

Legolas looked into Aragorn's eyes.

I should tell him.

He will think that you are quite mad.

But maybe I am….

"And if I told you, Estel, that I am not ready to reveal it, what would you say?" he asked softly, shaking free of Aragorn's hold.

"I would tell you to take your time, but that too much time might endanger you more." Aragorn said, sighing heavily.

"I am not endangered by anything!" Legolas burst out crossly. "Not by you, not by anyone, and not by myself!"

Especially by myself…

"You are blinded by your own immortality." He stated lowly, taken aback by Legolas' outburst. "Have you looked into a mirror recently? Your eyes are bitter, your face is drawn, and you act as if you are not in this world!"

"I mourn for Mithrandir." He responded coldly, not looking back at Aragorn. "Perhaps you think my cheeks should be pink with life and my eyes sparkling during this time. However, I do not."

"It is more than his death!" Aragorn strode over until he was in front of Legolas. "Stop making excuses. I am trying to help you."

"I am sure you have already spoken with Haldir and Celeborn." Legolas said, so quietly that Aragorn almost missed it. He turned around and pierced Aragorn with a look of disdain. "Have they told you that I did not want, nor need, help?"

He stepped around Aragorn and did not look back.

Legolas glumly nodded his thanks as a female elf handed him a pitcher of wine. He hadn't meant to snap at Aragorn so, but did not think it was necessary for him to apologize. It would be too awkward, and Aragorn believed that something was not right in his head, anyway.

He sat a bit apart from the rest of the fellowship and poured himself some of the drink, catching the scent of fragrant fruits and honey. He took a large sip and watched Gimli snore loudly as the rest slept, smiling a bit in spite of himself.  

He poured another glass, drinking it thoughtfully, and took out his long silver knife. As he was whetting it, he took a breath and began singing a soft, lilting song.
    
                        From ev'ry depth of good and ill
    
                                             The mystery which binds me still:
    
                        From the torrent, or the fountain,
    
                                             From the red cliff of the mountain,
    
                        From the sun that 'round me roll'd
    
                                             In its autumn tint of gold---
    
                        From the lightning in the sky
    
                                             As it pass'd me flying by---
    
                        From the thunder and the storm,
    
                                             And the cloud that took the form
    
                        (When the rest of Heaven was blue)
    
                                             Of a demon in my view.

                A demon? Legolas chuckled. Maybe…

If only they knew what possesses me…

Do not act superior. 

You do not know what possesses yourself.

Legolas felt a twinge on his hand and looked down. He had cut himself while sharpening his knife. He touched his finger with his other hand as the crimson blood dropped, standing up in disbelief.

"No," he whispered. "I have not injured myself in years. This is impossible."

You see now, Prince of Mirkwood… you are not immortal.

He began to laugh tentatively at that. "You cannot fool me. I am an elf." Legolas said loudly. "I am immortal."

So you are…. so you think… would you like to learn about mortality?

His heart jumped. What did he mean… what did… I… mean…

You will see.

Drink now. Do not let all the wine go to waste. 

Drink….

Legolas moved farther from the wine jug, holding his ears with his hands. "Leave me!" he cried. "I do not want to hear you anymore!"  

Drink!

"No." he said, and began to shake when he realized he was sobbing.

We shall see….

"I did not know how bad this was."

Legolas groggily recognized Haldir's voice, sounding so solemn.

"He would not let us help him."

Was it Aragorn now?

"Why… why?"

Gimli's voice was so sad and remorseful….

"Legolas is strong."

The lady's voice, strong and clear.

He pondered these drifting voices in an unconscious state, floating in an out of an empty dreamland that was painted red. His mind was unusually quiet and restful, as that voice was absent and not taunting him. Maybe Galadriel got rid of it….  she promised to find a way…

And what was it that Haldir said? How bad this was. I do not… I do not understand… nothing is bad… but what if there is orcs? Was that what Haldir meant? Was there a battle?

Screaming.

I remember the screaming… someone was screaming… there was a battle! If there are orcs, then I must fight. How did the orcs find their way into Lothlorien?

Why is Gimli so sad? Did someone die? The orcs must have gotten someone!

What did Aragorn mean… did I already fight the orcs? I would not have refused help if there were many.

He vaguely felt something warm touch his lips and slide into his mouth, followed by whispered voices and a consuming black nothingness.

Legolas moaned imperceptibly and opened his eyes with a great effort. His vision was filled with Gimli's tired face looking down at him.

"You had me worried, elf." He grunted, cracking a solemn smile, and moved back. "Aragorn, look, Legolas has awoken."

"Estel…" his voiced cracked, and water was brought for him.  "Where…" Legolas shut his eyes as the overwhelming urge to vomit came over him. He wanted to weep. He felt like he had broken into several pieces, and all his muscles were limp and exhausted.

"You are still in Lothlorien." came Aragorn's reply. "We have stayed with you for over a day now… how are you feeling?"

"I think I might spew up all my insides right now." He managed to say, trying to smile but failing miserably.

"That would be the effect of all that wine you drank." Haldir commented, coming to stand by the bed.

"I drank two glasses." Legolas disagreed, his face turning a notch paler, until his skin appeared to be almost translucent. "Surely an elf has much more tolerance than that."

"Two glasses?" Gimli repeated, raising his eyebrows. "My dear Legolas, it is said that you downed the entire pitcher and called for more!"

The room spun around him. "What…" Legolas focused his uneasy eyes on the ceiling. "I… I had two glasses while I whetted my knife!"

The room went uncomfortably silent.

Ashen, his voice trembled as he spoke. "What happened?"

There was still a foreboding hush.

"Tell me!" Legolas' eyes were now panicked as he sought answers. He felt hot tears of dread forming in his eyes.

I will not cry in front of them!

He gathered his strength and lifted his hand to quickly wipe eyes when he stopped in horror. Each of his fingers were wrapped several times in linen bandages, moving all the way up to his elbows. Legolas let his arms fall limply back down.

"How did this happen?" he demanded, searching their faces for answers.

"Do you not remember?" Gimli asked, finally breaking the silence.

"No…" He looked helpless. "Unless it was… was it the orcs?"

"The orcs?" Aragorn said, confused, glancing at Haldir. "What orcs?"

"There was a battle here with orcs, was there not? I heard the screaming." Legolas began to feel calmer.

"There were no orcs, nor a battle." Haldir said quietly.

"Then how…" Legolas whispered, eyes glassing over. "How…"

There was silence in Lothlorien, except for his cries that pierced the still air as he began to remember.

To be continued…

Well, I think this was slightly longer than the first chapter. Lots of thanks to all my reviews. It was kind of weird, because I was on MSN while all the reviews came in at once, so that little box kept popping up at the corner.

Houki: Why is Legolas acting all weird?? Hee hee, that'll come soon.

Cry: Fade?? Nononononononono!! Don't! I hope you liked this chapter!

Gemstone: the extended version was absolutely awesome. I loved the whole Lembas and gift giving-scene, and when Legolas was like "Why don't I doubt that? to Gimli, I was nearly jumping for joy.

Sirithiel: I had so many problems trying to spell your name from memory… it was quite funny, actually. ^_^

Thaurvingwen: No, I couldn't do that to our favourite elf. He'll stay faaaaaaar away from bridges.

Astariel: Yeah, the 'tis and nays…. *grins* I couldn't hold myself back. But I'll remember that, thanks for telling me!

Grey-companion: I did, in fact, keep writing. ^_^ And I think I'll continue for a while more, unless I get mass e-mails telling me to stop.

Heatherpadawan: Yep, I think you did say you wanted more.

Vana Everyoung: I haven't yet figured out yet why I'm making poor Legolas suffer. And yes, he is suffering… the things I do to my favourite characters…. *goes of sighing*

Dreamkeeper: All these urgent messages about continuing made be continue… (well, I already was planning on it, I wouldn't stop halfway) but it was supposed to be out later. Good job, you stirred me into action!

Mei: I suppose you want to see what happens next this time as well…. Okay… just a little hint if it wasn't already obvious… *coughs* flashbacks!

Okay, I think that's all 11 reviewers I've got down. Thank you all very much! The next chapter will be up sooner, as these reviews have *gasp* motivated me into writing furiously away. And by the way, has anyone realized what the color of distress was?


	3. Immortal no longer

Color of Distress

Disclaimer – Still not mine… and though I have already corrected it in the review section, I will state it again here. The poem I used in the last chapter was supposed to be entitled "Alone" and not "Requiem", by Robert Louis Stevenson.

A/N: May as well continue my countdown… eleven more days until the Two Towers**! And this is rather important**: This chapter gets a more violent and more serious than the rest, and this chapter alone may as well be categorized as horror and rated R, although I personally think it's current rating is adequate. I don't know how squeamish you get, but this is just a general warning in case you'll be offended by anything that happens in this chapter. Or I may just be worrying too much about it. In any case, I have done my part and warned you. Enjoy!

Chapter 3 – "Immortal no longer"

He drank the wine. And when he had finished, he drank some more, laughing and crying at the same time.  He gagged as he forced himself to swallow the sweet liquid, drunk, in pain, and eyes lit with a wild light. Legolas' chest heaved for air as he was allowed a short reprieve. 

Now run… run into your precious woods.

"I drank for you, but I will not run for you!" Legolas shouted, picking up his knife, unsure of what he would attack. He spun around, searching in vain.

He felt like the forest was closing in on him, trapping him in a leafy cage. The once soothing trees appeared now to be dark and foreboding; it's gentle rustling now a mockery. Yet it called him, and he found himself being drawn closer.

Legolas' normally light steps were leaden and tired, and he whimpered as he realized he was running into the heart of the woods. He finally stopped, and stood in a large clearing, staring around helplessly.

His heart thundered in his chest. "It is over." He told himself reassuringly. "I will go back."

Your lesson in mortality has not finished yet…

Legolas cried out in fear. 

No more!

Stop…. please… 

And then it came in a sly whisper.

How would you like to write?

"I like it not." He said, clenching his fists.

It remained silent. As he turned to leave, his sliver knife slipped out of his hand and fell to the ground with a soft clatter. Legolas bent to pick it up, and caught his reflection in the blade as he did so. Dull blue eyes gazed back at him, speaking of the unimaginable torments that were inflicted upon him.

Still looking into his reflection, he touched the tip of the blade with his forefinger, running it along the fine edge. Legolas moved back to lean against a tree, exhausted.

He dropped the knife for a second time when he saw blood on his sleeve. Legolas had cut his finger again, and much more deeply this time. It dripped to the ground, coloring the forest floor crimson.

Legolas roused himself out of his daze and looked around for a particular leaf off of a tree he knew would stop the bleeding.

I wonder why Gimli dislikes the trees so… they are so helpful and giving…

He placed his hand on the trunk of the tree while he bent over to pluck a leaf. When Legolas straightened, he noticed that a line of blood had spread over the dark wood. He looked at it closer.

The trees give us so much… shade, protection; even herbs… yet we give nothing back…

Perhaps… I should give back… by giving my blood to the trees…

Just as Mithrandir gave his blood and life for the fellowship…

It is an idea….

"I drank for you, but I will not run for you!"

Gimli grunted and rolled over, still half dreaming of overflowing mines of mithril. He cracked open an eyes as he heard some strange noises…. laughing, crying, and whimpering all at once, and the steady footsteps of a shadowy figure that was disappearing deep into the woods.

He struggled to wake up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes with the back of his hand, and stood up clumsily. Gimli looked for Legolas, and soon realized apprehensively it was Legolas who had been making the noises and running. 

He moved as quietly as possible and followed Legolas, and cursed under his breath as his tripped over several wine jugs strewn across the floor. 

Has he been drinking?

The footfalls of Legolas grew fainter, and Gimli sped up, marveling at how effortlessly Legolas moved. He crouched behind a large bush as the elf stopped at a clearing, looking around blankly, as if he were lost.

Gimli was about to jump up from behind the foliage to bring Legolas back, but he spoke first.

"It is over," he breathed, and his eyes reflected the moonlight. "I will go back."

Gimli sighed in relief, although he had no idea what Legolas meant by it. Again he was about to reveal himself when Legolas became frozen with fear, his eyes wide. He cried out suddenly, scaring Gimli to his wit's end.

His heart was racing as he watched Legolas further, unsure if he should remain hiding or go to his friend. In the end, he stayed where he was, watching Legolas murmur something uneasily, and who appeared to be in the grip of a deep trance.

He shifted his weight to peer around the bush as Legolas turned his back by a tree, apparently looking for something in a hurried manner. Gimli caught a flash of red on his fine silver sleeve, and he soon become conscious of the fact that Legolas had hurt himself somewhere.

This time, he made up his mind to call to his friend first, and stood up. Legolas did not notice him at all. His face rested on the side of the tree, and he traced his bloodied finger along its trunk, forming a script he did not understand.

Gimli backed away in horror, and ran back to fetch Aragorn, shaking uncontrollably at his discovery.

"Aragorn!" came the urgent whisper. "Aragorn!"

The man did not stir, but furrowed his brow in his sleep, as if he did not want to hear anything.

"Aragorn!" he was being shaken roughly, each shake a punctuation of the sentence. "You… must… wake… up!"

"Go away," he groaned. "It is far too early for breakfast." Aragorn felt a smart smack at one side of his face. "Stop it! I wish to slumber in peace." Another smack.

"Wake up, wake up, wake up!" Gimli growled, barely believing that Aragorn refused to rise. "Legolas has run off and is in grave danger!"

Aragorn shot upright immediately, squinting at Gimli. "What has happened?" he asked abruptly, standing up.

"Legolas… I have not the heart to say. It is horrible…" Gimli moaned, putting his head in his hands. "Just… come with me."

He swiftly followed the dwarf, stepping around the empty wine jugs that still lay strewn on the floor. "Did Legolas consume all of this?" He asked, looking back at the mess.

"I think so…" came the strained reply.

Aragorn remained alert as he went along behind the dwarf, carefully stepping over tree roots. Gimli unexpectedly stopped in front of him, muttering to himself.

"What is the matter?" Aragorn asked warily.

"These damned paths look too much alike," Gimli blustered, looking around frantically.

"What? Are we lost?" Aragorn demanded, crossing his arms. 

Gimli began running without a reply, and took paths in no particular order, Aragorn close behind.  He nearly ran into Gimli when he stopped suddenly before a clearing. He moved forward in order to get a better view, and what he saw made him want to pass out.

Legolas was crouched by a tree, sobbing, his sleeves slashed through several times in different places, covered in blood.

Aragorn stepped forward slowly. "Legolas?" he ventured cautiously.

From where he was standing, the moon filtered pale rays of light into the clearing, and Aragorn finally saw to what extent Legolas went through.

All over the massive oak and beech trees, were scripted several words, all in Legolas' hand, and all written in blood.

Gimli went to stand next to Aragorn, and clutched his axe when he saw the trees. "Who has attacked him?" he whispered fiercely. "I swear to kill him!"

"Would you kill Legolas?" Aragorn asked, looking stricken as he tried to approach the elf without frightening him more.

"He… he did this?" Gimli stammered, looking up at the writing. "He did this himself?"

"It is his own handwriting." Aragorn affirmed, turning his head back to Legolas. "'tis elvish."

"What does it say?"

Aragorn's eyes were darkly sorrowful. "I am immortal no longer… and immortal I never shall be again… for the darkness which consumes me…seeks to consume my very soul and grace…" he stopped, and swallowed hard. "I will read no more of this." 

Gimli wiped his tears off his face. "And I will listen to no more of what troubles our friend." He said bleakly. "We must help him now." He approached Legolas and touched his knee gently. "Legolas, come, we will take care of you now."

Aragorn let the dwarf go on with his soothing words, and looked at the dismal tree trunks again, covered in beautiful yet horrifying writing. 

The Prince of Mirkwood is a coward…

Pathetic little prince…

Unable to control even himself…

Then he caught another writing, messier than the rest, scrawled quickly in a corner, as if the writer's hand was shaking.

I would rather pass on than linger here with this torment…

I wish to be free…

"Legolas." Something touched his knee.

Has my inner torment manifested itself into a physical form? 

He buried his head into his knees, shaking uncontrollably.

I could end it all now… 

I could kill it….

His wounded fingers felt the handle of his knife and gripped it tightly.

"…take care of you now…"

I could kill it…

Before it kills me…

End it…

"Come Legolas," Gimli said to him, patting his back. "It will be fine."

"You will be silent." Legolas hissed dangerously in a hoarse whisper. "You will torment me no longer. Leave me!" he sprang to his feet and wielded his knife.

Gimli fell back. "No, no!" he shouted. "Legolas, it is I, Gimli!" he rolled aside as Legolas nearly stabbed him through. "Aragorn!"

The man was immediately next to him, pulling Gimli to his feet. "We cannot harm him further…" Aragorn said, watching Legolas look around in confusion. "Help me and try to calm him! Call to him."

The blow did not connect.

Legolas saw no one in the clearing. Did it flee?

"Legolas! Do you not hear me?"

"I do hear you," Legolas responded furiously, staggering. "And I wish for you to be silent!" He slashed away at the air where the noise was coming from.

"Legolas Greenleaf! Come back to us!"

He muffled a sob. "Go to you, the demon which seeks to kill me? I may be weakened, but I am no fool!" Legolas leapt at the sounds again.

"By Elbereth, we want to save you!"

Legolas trembled in a mix of pain and rage, and he laughed bitterly. "Then let me kill my tormentor!"

And finally, he managed to strike upon something.

To be continued…

Alright, now it's reviewer thanking time!

Houki: I don't think you're that emotionally high stung…in fact, I'm kind of glad that it brought up some sort of emotion.

Thaurvingwen: Another crier? I don't think it was that sad or emotionally provoking… or maybe you were crying because of the cliffhanger??

Supernovacide: I can't wait for more either…. Ideas for this fic, that is. I'm in a pickle after the next chapter as to what I should do.

Sobbing madly: Well, you're the third person that is!

Milu: Wow… I feel almost over-appreciated. Thanks very much, though! Erm.. the mortal thing… *bangs head on keyboard* Mustn't give anything away yet….

Lotrmatrixstarwarsfan: Powers of darkness? Perhaps….but I can't give anything away… that would be no fun and bad bad bad….

Cheysuli: Neither can I. As I said above, I'm in a pickle.

Crys Ritter: Yep, it's red. (Bit obvious, though…. *sigh*) Yeah, it makes me wonder why we want to make the poor elf suffer so much…

Enigma Jade: Red again. (I guess it was waaaaaaay too obvious.) 

Amia: I don't care if people tell me to keep writing, 'cause the more I get it, the faster I'll go. It's a motivation thing.

Idyllic Dreams: Don't be depressed!!!!!!!!! (And I can't believe I have to torture Leggy so much for my own purposes of writing!)

St.CathrineEvangelineWoodsorel: Thanks again for pointing that poem mistake out for me!! (And I think it was that death threat that stirred me into getting this chapter up quickly… ^_^)

Princess_yumin: Wait. That's me and my correction of the poem notice. (I'm just going up my review of chapter 2 list…. And there I was.)

And I've forgotten to mention: If you would like me to send you an e-mail when I update new chapters, just let me know in your review AND leave me your e-mail address. (It's rather a bother, checking FF.net for updates when you can be informed when it's up.)

And for any other review of chapter 2 I didn't catch because it came in after I typed this up, THANK YOU!! (And the next chapter is coming soon….and then, as I've already mentioned, I'm in a pickle as to what to do. Any suggestions??)


	4. I remain immortal yet

Color of Distress

Disclaimer: Still not mine. Why do I even bother dreaming?

A/N: *Looks at the calendar, terrified* Eeeeep… I have 3 upcoming tests next week… I am doomed to die! Well, in other news, less than a week until the Two Towers!! (Excitement, anyone?) Anways, enjoy the chapter! (Sorry about the shortness of this chapter, I've been busy as heck with Christmas shopping and stuff)

Chapter 4 - " I remain immortal yet!"

Aragorn was breathing heavily as Legolas leapt at them yet again. Even in the throes of darkness, the elf was still nimbler than him, and seemed even more powerful in his desperation.  He and Gimli were hard pressed to avoid his vicious attacks. It looked as if Legolas was striking out blindly, Aragorn could see that he was merely following the noise they made. He doubted that Legolas could see them at all through his inner hell.

"By Elbereth, we want to save you!" He yelled in frustration as he was nearly hit. Aragorn moved to Gimli as quietly as possible, raising a finger to his lips. "He cannot see us," he whispered. "Legolas is attacking by sound alone. I want you to grab his legs from behind while I get that knife away from him. Do you understand?"

Gimli nodded silently, watching Legolas' movements intently. 

"Then let me kill my tormentor!" Legolas cried, laughing irreverently.

Gimli circled the elf and paused for Aragorn's signal. The man dashed in front of Legolas, searching for the opportune moment to seize his weapon.

He was not prepared when Legolas swiftly flew forward, almost faster than he could catch, and thrust the knife into Aragorn's upper arm, smiling in a twisted, satisfied sort of way. 

Aragorn took a sharp breath inwards, and grimaced as he clenched his other hand. "Legolas, I am sorry, but you leave me no choice!" He nodded to Gimli, who took hold of Legolas' legs. Aragon darted up and grabbed his injured arms through gritted teeth.

Legolas was shivering wildly. "I am free! I have killed it!" he exclaimed repeatedly, seeming not to feel or care that Aragorn was firmly holding his bloodstained arms. "I remain immortal yet!" he cried. The white knife clattered to the ground.

The three of them toppled over onto the ground. Gimli crawled out from underneath them, looking at Legolas with an aggrieved expression. Legolas was quiet now, though still trembling. 

Aragorn bent over Legolas, checking him over for any other injuries. He sadly touched the side of his face.

"He slumbers!" Gimli said in amazement, leaning over the other side of Legolas. 

"His eyes remain closed." Aragorn remarked lowly. "This is not a peaceful sleep for him…" he shook his head. "Let us bring him to Haldir. He will help us with Legolas." He gently lifted his friend into his arms, astounded that the thin frame he was holding was so light. Like he is empty…

Gimli led them back up the path; glancing back once at the blood covered trees mournfully. When he saw the rest of his friends still sleeping under the canopy of trees, he felt as if everything that had happened was surreal. He ran to get a blanket for Legolas, but Aragorn kept moving once Legolas was covered.

"Can we not leave him here, then go fetch Haldir?" Gimli asked, following.

"There are several reasons why I would not leave him here," Aragorn replied grimly. "The first being that the rest of the fellowship should not see him like this."

"But, why?"

Aragorn looked over at Gimli as they climbed a flight of stairs. "Legolas would not tell even I what was wrong him. Galadriel could not make him say, either, until she looked into his thoughts. Everyone has his own pride, and his was that he was never weak. So when this began troubling him, he did not want to say. He is already humiliated that we know, let alone the rest of them."

Gimli was dumbstruck. "That was why he pretended to be well." He said finally.

"And I would not have Legolas wake up among them while we are not there. Although we have taken his knife, I know not where he has kept his arrows, and in his state of mind…" Aragorn did not finish his sentence, nor did he need to.

They found Haldir sitting by an elaborate table by a window in his room.

"Haldir," Aragorn called from the doorway. "We need help. May we enter?"

Haldir rose and looked over. "Of course," he replied, eyes widening. "Is that Legolas you carry?"

"It is," Gimli answered, overlooking Haldir's mild irritation at his presence. "He is injured."

"Bring him in, and lay him on the bed." 

Aragorn placed him on the bed as gently as he knew how, and stepped back, grasping his own bleeding arm. There was a brief silence, as Haldir looked Legolas over in growing trepidation. 

"What has happened?" Haldir said in a low voice, turning to Aragorn. His eyes pierced the man's. "Are you hurt as well?"

"Yes, but it doesn't matter." Aragorn said, brushing the question off. "It is Legolas that I am worried about."

"Who was he attacked by?" Haldir asked, leaning over to check Legolas' breathing. He frowned. It was shallow and erratic.

"He attacked himself." Aragorn said grimly. "Gimli saw it."

Haldir was lightly removing Legolas' shirt to tend to the wounds, but he stopped, stunned. "He cut himself… what was he trying to do?"

"I do not know." Gimli said curtly, looking down at Legolas. "But he was talking to himself, and he was clearly terrified of something."

 Haldir resumed washing Legolas' cuts, looking pensive. He finally shook his head. "We will have to ask Galadriel. I spoke to Legolas before, and he said he was merely mourning for Gandalf, but there was something else that was not right. He seemed angry and scared at the same time."

"There is more." Aragorn began, but stopped, shutting his eyes at the memory. He sighed deeply and went on. "Legolas was using his blood… and he was writing with it on the trees… he wrote terrible things about himself…"

"All of which are untrue!" Gimli added fiercely.

"This is out of my control… we will inform Galadriel immediately, and then we will see what she has to say about this."

They looked down at Legolas' broken, pale figure.

"I hope she will have something good to say about this," Gimli said finally, turning away. "But why do I doubt that?"

"And you say Legolas has tried to kill himself?" She looked ghostly white.

"I do not know if he meant to kill himself." Aragorn replied, meeting Galadriel's eyes. "He could have done in so many other ways, instead of just his arms."

"Yes… let me see him." Her expression was unreadable as she knelt next to Legolas. She ran her fingers over his arms nimbly, and her lips murmured something soft to him. "I am not sure if he can hear me… he is the grasp of a terrible distress."

"But what is it?" asked Gimli, lowering his eyes as she stood up in front of him.

"His mind speaks to him, and tells him haunting things. It mocks and tries to control him. Where it came from, I do not know. Perhaps it was always there, and emerged with his grief of Mithrandir's death. 

I - "

A faint moaning from Legolas cut her off. She immediately knelt by his head again, whispering to him. _Ilfirin… _That was the only word Aragorn's sharp ears made out. Immortal…

Sighing, she finally stood up, long after Legolas had gone quiet again. "It is no use. I have tried to speak with him from inside his sleep, but he cannot hear me. He will fight against it alone."

"_Fiirimo…_!" Legolas cried out, with tears running down his cheeks. "_Ilfirin!"_

Haldir looked discomfited. "Why…"

Galadriel silenced him with a look.

"It has convinced Legolas that he is mortal." Aragorn said slowly, the realization dawning on him. His writings, the conversation with Legolas… it all made sense.

"But he is an elf!" Gimli argued, feeling out of place.

"Elves are not truly immortal, Gimli, until we leave Middle Earth. We still can pass on in other ways… but that is beside the point. We are trying to help Legolas." Galadriel removed something from her robes. It was a small glass vial with a clear liquid, and she handed this to Aragorn.

"_Nwalya faire," _She said to him. "I fear this is the only way to quell his torment until he can fight it himself."

Gimli repeated what Galadriel said atrociously. "Nealwa fay? What is that?"

"It is a potion," she replied heavily. "It will slow his thoughts, and hopefully his torment as well. He will not like it…but if he cannot fight it and continues to hurt himself, it is the only way."

Gimli eyed it doubtfully. "If it helps…"

"I did not know how bad this was." Haldir said suddenly. "If I knew before, perhaps I would have been able to do something more." 

"Do not blame yourself." Galadriel said gently. "We all would have done more if it were possible."

"And he would not let us help him." Aragorn said heavily.

"But why?" Gimli asked, his gruff voice cracking. "Why? If he's afraid of this … thing… that's taking him over, why not ask us for help? "

"It is pointless to discuss this further." Galadriel said finally, her eyes tired. "We will find no answers from ourselves, for the answer dwells only within Legolas. Aragorn, give him two drops of the potion. It will soothe him. But Legolas is strong, and I believe he will soon be able to fight it without the _Nwalya faire_."

Aragorn did as he was asked, carefully dripping it between Legolas' lips. His friend's brow was furrowed, as if he were lost in thought within his dreams. He bent forward and gently kissed the elf's forehead. 

"Sleep in peace, my friend." 

To be continued….

Okay, let's get to my chapter 3 reviewers….

Cheysuli: You'd like to see more self-destructive actions??? Oh lord, what is the world coming to?? I'm just joking. I'd kinda like that too… I'm big on Leggy angst. But I can't promise anything yet.

Houki: Er… yeah… I now think you're just a little emotionally high-stung. (Mostly 'cause last chapter was not a tearjerker… but that's besides the point….) ^_^

Syslink: I now apologize to Houki. Since you are the second person that is crying, I would have to say this fic is having a weird effect on people

Thuarvingwen: "Delicious shivery dark tone.." Hey, I like how that sounds. Thanks a lot!

Clara Crixan: Poor Legolas??? I'll say. He's trapped in a veritable hell of my writing devices.^_^

Nevrantwen: I don't know about that… the character and personality and all. Heck, I'm barely through the second book. (Yes, it's shameful, I admit it.) But hey, if you think it's great, it makes me happy. Thanks!

Vana Everyoung: I DID read your story, and I was very moved by it. I loved it. And I need to get off Legolas angst.

PoeticMuse: And I read your fic (The absence of love) as well. And jeez, was it good? *indignantly* I can't believed that they starved our Leggy….

And again, I'm offering to e-mail people who want to be notified of updated chapters if they prefer it over checking back at FF. net. Just leave me your request and e-mail, and I'd be glad to do it!

Oh, and one last thing. I'm NOT into Legolas slash, but Aragorn kissing Legolas at the end of this chapter seemed appropriate to me, as they are friends. So this is not slash, it will not become slash… I just wanted to note that. ^_^


	5. It will not come back

Color of Distress

Disclaimer –  Lord of the Rings was never mine, and will never be mine.

A/N: This chapter took awhile to update, but I was trapped in the miserable throes of writer's block. But seeing the Two Towers must have jump-started my brain, so here it is. (By the way, was Legolas absolutely amazing in the movie? And he spoke more in elvish. And he… never mind. I won't say more in case I spoil the movie for you, if you haven't seen it.) Orlando Bloom rocks. I was so excited to see him up on the big screen that I was so tense and nervous before the show. It was crazy. I alternated between laughing and screaming hysterically and sobbing inconsolably throughout the whole movie. I think I'll see it again. Sorry about this long and irrelevant note, I have no idea what I'm doing right now. 

Chapter  5 - " It cannot come back."

Legolas had his eyes closed as Aragorn and Gimli finished telling him about what they said. However, they did not tell him about the n_walya faire, _as Galadriel requested_. _Legolas plucked at the smooth blanket that covered him.

"I do not remember much of what you tell me," Legolas said finally, opening his eyes. He then looked down at his bandaged hands. "But now you know…"

"You need not be ashamed." Aragorn said firmly. "There are only four of us here who are aware of what has happened, and you know that you can trust us."

Gimli nodded vigorously in agreement while Haldir and Galadriel looked on.  

"But I still do not want the rest of the fellowship to know." Legolas said softly. "A weak elf… I no longer deserve to be a part of you."

"What nonsense are you going on about?" growled Gimli. "You're just as deserving as the rest of us. And, mind you, you are not weak."

He gave a small smile to Gimli, the first real smile he had in days. " Thank you for your confidence in me." Legolas said, and sat up slowly with effort. "If only I could think that as well."

"You do not disgrace our race, Legolas. You do us credit." Galadriel said, looking at him intently. "I will leave you three alone now." She stopped by the doorway with Haldir, but turned around to look Legolas directly in the eyes. "You are strong." She said in elvish, and stepped out of the room.

Legolas pushed the blankets off his legs and began to stand up. Aragorn caught his elbow as he stumbled. Both Aragorn and Gimli were surprised to see tears of frustration well up in his eyes.

"Something else must be wrong with me," Legolas said forlornly as he looked out the window, steadying himself on the sill. "The voice may be gone, but I do not feel better."

Gimli looked at his feet guiltily. "Well, Haldir did say you drank too much wine."

"It is not my body that troubles me. It will recover soon enough." He replied. " But I feel dulled, like when the moon is veiled by thick clouds and the light cannot shine through."

Aragorn saw that Legolas was right. He was already less pale, and his movements more graceful, but his face was gaunt and his eyes were disturbed. "Do you want to sleep some more?"

"No…" Legolas replied. For a moment, his eyes shone with an inner fire. "I will get dressed, and then you will show me the trees."

"The trees?" Aragorn repeated. "Why would you want to go there?"

Legolas turned back around to them. "I want to see what I have done." He said hauntingly. "What horrors I have committed to this realm."

"Nay, you don't want to go there, Legolas." Gimli said. "And besides, it matters not."

"It matters to me."

"I will not take you there." Aragorn said, crossing his arms over his chest. "And you cannot go in your condition."

"I have no condition, and you cannot tell me what to do." Legolas said heatedly, his eyes flashing. "If you will not take me, then I will go by myself." He pulled on his shirt, uncaring of his arms. He then strode to the bed, sat down, and began lacing up his boots.

"Oh, come on, elf." Gimli argued uncomfortably. "Wait a day or two until you're feeling better."

Legolas stood up stubbornly by the door, and gave him a piercing look. "In a day or two, it will be washed away by either the rains or the elves. Then I will never know what had taken me over. Or wasn't that what you intended?"

"Legolas, do not be angry with us." Aragorn said, trying to pacify his worked up friend. 

His cheeks were pink with fury. "Do not speak to me as if I were a child!" he shouted. "I know what I need to do, but all you two do is try to stop me.  You say you are helping me, but I think you are hindering me!"

Legolas swung around and left them in a heavy silence. Then they sighed and went after him.

He could not think. It was not as if he was too tired or confused for contemplation, it was that his mind was just blank. There was no voice either, but he had no thoughts of his own. Nothing came as he strode to the woods.  A sort of empty buzzing filled his head, irritating and scaring him at the same time.

"This is far worse than the voice," he whispered, unable to take pleasure in the bright sun.

Legolas stumbled along, trying to form a coherent thought. 

Aragorn had caught up to him. "Legolas…." He saw the elf's pained expression and sighed inwardly.

"What has happened to me?" he asked immediately, so worried that forget his previous fight with the man.

"What do you mean?" Aragorn replied carefully.

"I told you and Gimli before I felt that something more was wrong with me. I could not explain it then, but now I think I know what it is.  Words come to my lips normally, but I cannot form my own thoughts." 

Aragorn tried not to look away from Legolas. "Maybe you're still in shock."

"Perhaps." He said doubtfully. Legolas' face cleared after a moment. "But I trust you, Estel. If you say that I am in shock, then I am in shock."

Aragorn looked at Legolas' completely trusting face and bit his lip, feeling terrible about lying to his friend. "Of course. And if you are so determined to go to the woods, then I will come with you. And Gimli too."

As if on cue, Gimli came jogging up to them and looked from Aragorn to Legolas nervously. Aragorn smiled to him imperceptibly, shaking his head to tell him that the argument was forgotten.

"Thank you," Legolas said distantly, turning around to look over the tops of the trees. "But I have to do this by myself."

Gimli looked surprised by this, but nodded his assent.  

He moved silently between the bushes and trees, his heart thumping wildly. Legolas now found that he could force his mind to think if he focused on it enough. It took a huge effort, but being able to think quietly was something he treasured, especially when he was out alone. However, Legolas' thoughts were far from pleasant, but were interrupted by soft giggling and some hushed voices.

Legolas leaned against an oak, hidden by its shadows, and listened to the elves that were speaking while they worked.

"… of course, the Lady wants to keep this quiet. Doesn't want people to find out what's happened."

"She is really worried, you know. Have you seen her recently?"

"I wonder why he did it."

"Perhaps the prince wanted attention."

"But to go this far…there had to be more to this."

There was a derisive snort. "Aye. Being a king's son was not attention for him, so he went out and tried to get some more."

"I do not think that Legolas would do that. Actually, I heard that he was driven mad with grief over the death of Mithrandir."

"Mad enough to try to paint our woods red with his blood?"

They laughed again at this.

Legolas slowly slid down to the base of the tree and buried his head in his knees, shutting his eyes tight.

They think that I am crazy… 

He stood up and decided to just go back to Aragorn and Gimli. Legolas took only a few steps when he stopped, frowning.

Why should I be afraid of what they have to say? 

Legolas turned around abruptly and strode purposefully into their midst. There were three elves, one male and two female, and they all looked extremely embarrassed while bobbing their heads to him in acknowledgement.

One the females were clutching a sponge, while the other held out a basin of bloodied water. The male was halfway up a tree with a piece of cloth.

"I've come to see what I've done here before you wash it all away," Legolas said stolidly. The three looked around at each other, looking nervous. 

Finally, the male shrugged. 

Legolas nodded at them coldly and moved a few paces away from them. He could feel their eyes following his movements, and hated it.

If they were not watching him, Legolas would have fainted dead away. Instead, he clenched his fists into tight balls and forced himself to read what he had written. He felt bile rising in the back of his throat and pushed it down, shaking. 

I would rather pass on than linger here with this torment… I wish to be free…

I am immortal no longer….

The world swirled around him, making him dizzy. He anxiously shook it off and began to head back, ignoring the strange stares that the elves were giving him.

Aragorn and Gimli were waiting in the room Haldir had given to Legolas.

"How will we give him the rest of that…Nee… oh never mind. I'll never be able to say it. The rest of that potion, anyway." Gimli asked while he paced in circles around the room.

 "Drop it into his food or drink, I suppose." Aragorn answered. "I doubt he would take it willingly. The elves like to have their own thoughts."

"The dwarves like to have their own thoughts as well." Gimli announced, stopping his pacing.

"The dwarves would not have very many intelligent thoughts, however." Legolas quipped at he entered the room. Aragorn was visibly relieved that Legolas had not overhead the beginning of their conversation.

Gimli good-naturedly ignored the remark and studied Legolas. He seemed a bit agitated, but looked like he was recovering overall.

"So, when are we moving on?" Legolas asked.

"Are you okay?" Gimli asked uncertainly. He was afraid that Legolas would snap them, like when he did before when Gimli mentioned his health. 

"Yes."

"Truly?" Gimli ventured.

"Truly, my friend." 

"Then we will leave tomorrow. We cannot linger here too long." Aragorn said.

"I will sleep with the rest of our friends tonight." Legolas announced. "It would seem odd to them if I spend all the nights away. They will think something is wrong."

Gimli grinned mischievously. "Or they will think that you have found a woman here!"

That left Legolas speechless, and he began to turn red.

Aragorn began to laugh. "He got you there, Legolas."

Legolas shook his head and smiled. "I think it will be a long while yet before I find a woman, Gimli. However, it will be longer still before you find one!"

Gimli roared with laughter. "Ah, elf. For someone whom my kind has held a grudge against for so long, you are really quite funny."

As the night went on, his mind became clearer and clearer, until the point where he no longer had to take the effort and focus to be able to think. Legolas sat on a bench, alert and wide awake, and watched his friends sleep.

"I will thank Galadriel for curing me of this." Legolas said aloud to himself as he tilted his head back to watch the stars. He traced a familiar constellation with a slender finger, now healing quickly.

I am sorry, Mithrandir, that I could not help you further… 

But I will not grieve like this for you any longer.

The elf sat in the starlight and made his peace with the death of his friend, singing him a final lament.

And in the shadows of his mind, a darkness stirred again.

A soft cloak was pinned underneath his chin as he stood with the rest of the fellowship. Galadriel now moved to each of them, speaking with them and handing them gifts.

"For you, Legolas, is the bow of Lorien, worthy of our woodland kin." She held the bow out to him.

Legolas took the bow silently, examining its carved details. He held it up against himself and drew it, testing its strength. Legolas looked up into her eyes as she smiled at him.

_I do not think we will meet again, Legolas, until we cross the sea and leave middle earth, which may still be several years to come._

_Thank you for helping me._

_I have not helped you as much as you seem to believe. You are a warrior, and if it ever strikes you again, you will fight it without me. And then you will see how much you did with only the help of your friends._

"But it will not come back?" Legolas asked quietly.

"I cannot promise you that it will not." She replied, placing a hand on his shoulder. " But you will win this fight."

Legolas wanted to say more, but she moved on. He tried to push down his rising fear, and began a chorus in his head to focus on.

_It cannot come back._

_It will not come back.  
I am cured of it._

_Legolas……._ It was only a whisper, dancing around his determined chant. And it frightened him, until he became lost inside himself, unaware of his surroundings.

_It cannot come back. _

_I will not let it come back!_

_Legolas…._

Outwardly, Legolas appeared to be almost normal, as he stood rooted to the ground, staring straight ahead, his fingers clutching the bow.

_You will not come back._

_Legolas….._

  
                

To be continued….. (Yep, I decided to continue it into the second book, and not just end it at Lothlorien. The problem is, I haven't read the second book, so I guess I'll be doing it based on the movie.)

Again, if you'd like me to send you an e-mail when I update the fic, just let me know.

A big thank you to all of my reviewers, you guys are the best! And here are my chapter 4 reviewers….

Lady Daine: Everyone always DOES beat up the poor elf. I have to get out of Legolas angst. But it's always so appealing……

Houki: Well, I decided to throw in Aragorn and Gimli into the mix 'cause they're all a lot more buddy buddy in the Two Towers. But if you like it, even better!

Cheysuli: One thing I absolutely refuse to think is that Legolas could have been taken over by the ring. I suppose it is possible, but dang it, I need to believe that Legolas is above that. And that is why Legolas will not taken over the ring. Whew, that was quite emphatic of me. ^_^

Crys Ritter: Oh lord, that is hilarious. I do the "preciousss" thing whenever my friends try to touch any of my LOTR stuff. They find it quite frightening.

Wicked Misty: Well, it is a Legolas angst fic…combined with me as the author… there is still a lot more in store for Legolas. *bangs head on keyboard* Why did I get into Legolas angst in the first place?!?!?!? *wails* The poor elf!!

Vana Everyoung: *gasp* No internet access??? I would absolutely die, not being able to catch up on my Orlando Bloom news. (Really interesting review, by the way.)

Leap of Fate: The writing in blood thing took me awhile to come up with, and I was pretty happy with it. Now I have to figure something else that Legolas will do, although nothing strikes me at the moment. *sighs and goes of muttering*

Soulsearcher- arbariel: I really need to go back and edit my stuff, but I'm just so lazy…. Fiirmo meant something like mortal…. I remember now. I just had Legolas cry out about immortality and mortality.

Analorien: Slash was never my cup of tea either. Thank the heavens that the first slash I stumbled upon was tastefully done. 

Innocent/Poetic Muse: Yep, I'm too lazy to type up muse twice.

Mainecoon: Yay! Another non-slash supporter! And why the rendezvous with the wall?

Lirenel: The Two Towers was awesome!! I love the part where…. darn.*sighs* I don't want to say anything in case I wreck a scene for someone… *duct tapes my mouth shut*

Muchacha: *continues banging head on the keyboard.* I need to join some sort of support group to get me off Legolas angst… he shouldn't have to suffer, even if it's just in writing!!! Ahem. I am so sorry about that.

And just a final note. This chapter was kind of boring, but it was a transitional sort of chapter. Bear with me, I need to shake the dust bunnies from the writer's block out of my head.  


	6. I do not like killing

Color of Distress

Discalimer- I am absolutely tickled pink. I will never be able to write something as amazing as Lord of the Rings. Meaning that it is not mine.

A/N: It's been a really long while, and I apologize for keeping you waiting. It's been a hectic month for me with my final exams, but once they were over, I rushed to my computer and began writing. So enjoy! 

Chapter 6 -  "I do not like killing."

  
                

Gimli was happily speaking of the gift he received from Galadriel, three strands of her golden hair. Legolas continued paddling along in the boat, staring straight ahead. Gimli was so elated with his gift he barely noticed that Legolas clutched the oar so tightly his hands were white.

"…generous, beautiful, kind…. I shall never again…."

_If she cannot cure me… then who will?_

Legolas shook his head, refusing to think any further. 

"…fairest that I have ever laid my eyes upon…"

"Gimli, what will become of me?"

Gimli started and twisted around to look at Legolas. "What do you mean by that?"

He shrugged lightly. "What will I do now?"

"Well, to start, you and I will help Frodo along to Mordor." Gimli said, grabbing the sides of the boat as it began to sway from his movements.

"Will I make it there, do you think?" Legolas asked.

"And why ever not? Out of all of us, you'd be the fastest to nip in and out of that cursed place." Gimli said.

"So what you said at the council was not true, after all." Legolas bit back a small smile. His spirits rose from his melancholy thoughts with the light banter they began exchanging.

"What did I say at the council?"

"Something about not liking the idea that the ring would fall into the hands of an elf."

"Ah. Well, you see… that was before I discovered that….er…" Gimli searched for a snappy answer. Finding none, he chuckled at himself good-naturedly. "By the hells, Legolas, you were right. It was not true."  

Boromir suddenly called over to their boat. "There is a small clearing ahead. Shall we stop there for the night?"

"Yes!" Gimli yelled back, rising from his seat slightly in excitement. "I've had enough of these damned boats. If there are three things that this dwarf hates, it is trees, boats, and horses!"

"No." Aragorn said from in front of them, turning around slightly. "We must make haste."

"But surely we need to rest somewhere and eat!" Gimli said stubbornly. "Ask the hobbits. I'd say they would like to stop."

"Of course, they would want to eat." Legolas said dryly. 

Aragorn hesitated for a moment, and then looked at Gimli and Legolas. "Very well. But we begin early tomorrow."

"That's more like it!" Gimli forgot himself and jumped up in the boat.

"Must you insist on drowning us?" Legolas muttered as the boat began to rock dangerously. He leaned to the left to try to balance it out. However, Gimli over balanced and fell off the side of the boat, armor and all.

"Gimli!" Legolas shouted, peering over the side of the boat. His heart began to pound in his chest.

_Where is he? I must get him out! What if he can't swim? He'll be pulled down by his armor…_

"Gimli!" he yelled again, beginning to panic a little.

Aragorn began to paddle closer. "Legolas, did Gimli fall in?"

"Yes, yes!" Legolas looked around frantically.

Aragorn shouted over to him again, but he saw only his lips moving. He heard nothing.

_You've failed Mithrandir, dear Legolas… and now you will fail Gimli._

He saw Sam and Frodo looked at each other worriedly. Pippin and Merry looked terrified.

_How will they depend on you now?_

"No!" Legolas screamed. "I will not listen!" In a blind rage, he threw himself onto the edge of the boat and thrust his arms into the water, searching for something to grab onto. Instead, he felt Gimli's hand grasp his firmly.

He pulled in him the boat with all his strength, uncaring that the boat was now filled with water.

"You took long enough, elf." Gimli said, shaking water off of himself and splattering Legolas with droplets.

Aragorn's boat touched the side of theirs. 

"Gimli, what happened?"

Legolas saw, however, Aragorn was watching him intently and that Frodo and Sam were whispering to each other. He steadily avoided looking at them.

"Naught but my own clumsiness." Gimli said, rolling up the end of his cloak and vigorously squeezing water from the ends. He looked sideways at Legolas. "It is a good thing I can kick hard in the water."

"Why did it take you so long to get Gimli?"

_Yes, why?_

"I was looking for him. There was no point throwing myself in after Gimli if he could have taken my hand." Legolas said coolly. 

"It is nice to see that you would not risk wetting your hair for me," Gimli grunted, taking off his helmet and shaking his head. 

"I suppose we should stop here for the night. It would be a shame for Gimli's armor to rust if we do not dry it quickly." Aragorn said. He turned around in his boat and began paddling back.

Legolas had a dark suspicion that they were stopping because of him, not Gimli. But he kept silent and went along with it.

Aragorn took Gimli aside as they landed.

"Gimli, how did he look?" Aragorn asked in a whisper so Legolas would not overhear.

"You mean when he pulled me back into the boat?" Seeing Aragorn nod, Gimli went further. "He looked determined enough. And a bit afraid as well, if you ask me."

"I think he is being haunted again. He was acting very strangely when you fell."

Gimli stared at Aragorn in horror. "But… he was joking with me. Legolas was normal."

"He is an elf, Gimli. He hides his weaknesses and fears well. You will see it in his eyes." Aragorn said softly. "But my concern is how to give him more of the potion."

"Put it onto his food."

"We cannot put liquid on lembas. He would notice." Aragorn replied, frowning as he thought. "In his water?"

Gimli shrugged. "We can try."

Legolas watched with a sick heart as Boromir came back to the camp holding four dead rabbits, and looked away as quickly he and Sam began skinning them.

_Thank goodness for lembas bread…_

He went to the boat and pulled a piece out, breaking it into quarters. Legolas took a one and went to stand by a tree. He chewed on it thoughtfully, tuning out the hobbits' conversation of how to cook the rabbits.

"Legolas!"

Legolas jumped and looked to his side. "Oh, Gimli. I did not hear your approach."

"You get jumpier and jumpier every time I speak with you. Surely you're not afraid of me?" joked Gimli.

"Of course not." Legolas replied, looked out to the river.

"Well, I've brought you some water." Gimli held a small wooden cup out to him.

Legolas scrutinized it so carefully that Gimli began to get nervous. "I thought we only had flasks with us." He said as he took it.

"I brought it along with me." Gimli said, truthfully enough.

"And you are so nice as to let me use a dwarven cup?" Legolas asked, with a small teasing smile.

Gimli snorted. "Of course. You got me out of that river." He grinned suddenly. "Although you were very slow about it. So maybe you can use it this once and never again."

"My thanks, Master Dwarf." Legolas took a tiny sip and looked over to the fire, where Sam was merrily cooking the rabbits. "I will never know why hobbits insist on eating poor rabbits like that."

"What?" Gimli roared suddenly. "They've found meat and did not tell me about it? By everything that is holy, I am part of this fellowship as well, and I deserve some of it!" He marched over and positioned himself next to Sam. 

Legolas frowned and sniffed the contents, then poured away the water Gimli gave him. He rinsed the cup out by the river, and put it into their boat, and went to join the rest of his friends by the fire without a word.

The smell of the cooking rabbit was overpowering and hit Legolas like a brick. His mind wandered off to his days at Mirkwood, to when he still was but a child.

Two soulful brown eyes stared blankly at him.

A much younger Legolas approached it hesitantly. " _Niben meldir-tol! Eria, car-al thel an nedh…" _he called out softly. He crouched by the rabbit and nudged it with a finger. "_Tol..." (Stand up, little friend. I did not mean to hurt you. Stand up…)_

It did not move.

"_Ai, tira-im." _Legolas spotted an arrow, and gently gripped it and pulled it out of the rabbit. (_Oh, I see.)_

He took the rabbit into his arms and sang to it comfortingly. When it still did not move, he felt both tears and frustration well up in him. Legolas bit his lip for a moment, trying to keep his tears in, but failed and began wailing.

Hurried footsteps approached. "_Ennas Legolas!_" (_So here is Legolas!)_

Legolas looked up. "_Ada!" _he cried in relief, and began to send a torrent about the poor rabbit he was clutching while tears streamed down his cheeks.

Thranduil gathered both his son and rabbit into his arms.  "How did this happen?" he asked, stroking Legolas' head, trying to calm him.

"I... I was playing with arrows and I…" he hiccupped, wiping his tears. " I sent…sent them into this bush." Legolas buried his face into his father's neck for a moment, quelling more tears, and went on. "And when I came to… to collect my arrows… this rabbit was lying here."

Thranduil looked at his son, smiling slightly. "Maybe you should be a hunter." He was surprised when Legolas shook his head vehemently. 

"I do not like killing, _ada."_ Legolas said with a dignified air, regardless of the fact his face was wet with tears and his nose red.

Thranduil remained silent for a moment. "Legolas, you are a prince, and you will one day be a warrior, perhaps fighting in wars. You cannot cry over everything that has been slain."

Legolas pondered this for a while. "Maybe not an orc." He finally conceded, drawing a smile from his father.

Thranduil left his son alone and let him bury the dead rabbit. At least Legolas' first conscious experience of death was not of an elf, nor a human. The shock and confusion of finding that the rabbit was gone and could not come back would be a lot less, but it still ached him to know that his tender-hearted son had to kill out of necessity one day.

To be continued.

Here are the new reviews, to whom I apologize yet again for the lateness of this chapter. I feel unbelievably horrible for delaying it.

Houki - Thanks. Wow. I've just realized you been here from the beginning. Faithful and loyal reviewer, I salute you!

Erhothwen – Ahem… you mean OUR baby. Just joking. You can have Legolas, and I'll take Orlando. Thanks for the review!

Silent Star -  *grins* You know, you're quite persuasive with the Update, Update, Update! Thing you did. ^_^ Maybe it was the capitals.

Poetic Muse – I was afraid I would end it at 5 chapters as well. Well I first thought about writing this, I expected it to turn our longer so I could end it at Lothlorien, but yep, it's a lot shorter. And I've had so much fun writing this I had to keep going.

Gwyn – emotionally attached is not the word for just how attached I am to Legolas, but you do have a point about torturing a character you're fond of. I couldn't torture anyone else as wholeheartedly. (That sounded so funny!)

Analorien – Wow… if we're still Merry Christmas'ing', I'm a lot further back in updating that I thought. Yikes.

Muchacha – Lol. Unfortunately, it won't be slash. But the movie made me wonder why Legolas looked so devastated after Aragorn threw a hissy fit and yelled at him. I must repeat to myself: they are FRIENDS.

Whisper - *winces* Oh dear. If you keep checking back it means you were disappointed every time because this chapter took so longer to come up. *goes off guility.* 

Cheysuli: You keep hitting upon what it is I have in store for Legolas.  Just how exactly will he be able to fight???

Lady Daine -  You're mind has not left you… I have read up till Helm's Deep when I saw the movie, and I was the wacked out person in the theatre that wailed "BUT HALDIR DIDN'T DIE!"

Ithildin: *hides behind a rock* Okee… I updated. I'm not Sauron's dinner anymore, am I?  (And, how exactly would Sauron eat… does he even have a mouth? ^_^)

Milu – I'm not so sure about the grammatical aspects of my elvish, but I'm using Sindarin. I hope…. As for other original stories, I am working on something else right now, but it isn't up on FF.net yet. It's a whole catastrophic end of the world sort of plot. I've found it impossible for myself to write something cheerful.

EQJS – I'm so glad that Legolas got a slightly larger role in the two towers as well. My friends couldn't shut me up every time he was on screen.

Katherine - *hands her a kleenex* It must officially be said that I cannot write anything happy. 

Silent Angel – My favourite Legolas move is when he mounts the horse from the front. I went crazy and began cheering the in theatre at this point. I also received very nasty looks.

Crys Ritter - *gasp* You break keyboards too?? Lol.

WerewolfIncognito – I love Orlando like crazy, and even more so because of his awesome portrayal of Legolas. 

Liana Greenleaf – *jumps back at the caps* Okay… I hope you got the e-mail.

Moonbean – It'll come back, that's for sure. Thank you for the review!

Shaan Lien - *runs to read the fic by Yours Truly* Holy… it IS similar. However, I don't think my fic will fit in that tightly with the original LOTR story as the one by Yours Truly. It's going to wander off a bit in the future. Thanks for pointing that out.

Vana Everyoung – rotflmao. I love your reviews, they are hilarious. And I haven't thought about the ring thing. Hey, that rhymed.

Seriously psyco person – Yup, it's sort of meant to be horrifying.

The Omniscient Bookseller – I bow to thee in return, o great reviewer. ^_^

Dream Keeper – I noticed that as well, but I was really stressed out when I wrote those chapters (over exams…). I might fix it up again and re-post it, but it's still undecided. Glad you liked it.

Shinzui – Goddess….. me…. In the same sentence…. Hoo boy. * That's an amusing thought…. I couldn't stop laughing when I read your review… and THANK YOU, what you've said was absolutely wonderful.   

Hope you liked this chapter, and I'll see how quickly I can write the next one. I'm in a bit of a post exam slump, and my new term in beginning soon…. *sigh* Again, if you'd like me to send you an e-mail telling you when the fic is updated, just let me know in your review. I don't know if you've noticed, I've just changed the category from angst and drama to angst and horror. I've convinced myself that the bloodied tree scene merits as horror!


	7. So you lied to me

Color of Distress

Disclaimer – As Julius Caesar once said "I came, I saw, I conquered." I came, and I did see/read the Lord of the Rings. Unfortunately, I have not made any military or literary conquest over it. So there, it is not mine.

A/N: Ahahahah! This chapter was up a lot quicker than the last one, so I'm feeling particularly proud of myself. *glances at pile of physics homework* However… there were… consequences that came of this… *lugs twenty pound textbook to the desk and begins working* Anyways, happy reading!

Chapter 7 – "So you lied to me."

Legolas drifted slowly back into the present, and seeing the rabbit again made him sick. Swallowing hard, Legolas stumbled away from the fire to behind a patch of bushes and retched.

"Legolas?"

It was the last voice he wanted hear. Legolas knew that the ranger stood right behind him and wore a look of deep concern, and he did not want to turn around to face him.

Instead, he saw the rabbit being cooked again in his mind, the scent rising from it, and he vomited again until he emptied what little he had eaten. Legolas wiped his mouth and stood up to look at Aragorn.

"I did not think a gagging elf would be this interesting to watch." Legolas said coldly, turning his head so he could not see the rest of the fellowship eating.

Aragorn sighed in frustration. "I came to see if you wanted help, Legolas. You are not well."

"I am well. It is only that my stomach does not appreciate cooking rabbit." He replied, biting his lip to stop the urge to vomit again. Legolas swayed slightly on the spot.

"I'm sure if you told them the smell upsets you, they would not cook it like that." Aragorn said, reaching out to steady his friend.

Legolas jerked away. "I'll not be seen as weak." He said bitterly. "Or maybe that it what you intended."

_Go on…._

_Tell him…_

"What are you talking about?" Aragorn asked cautiously.

"You are jealous, Estel. Jealous that I am an elf and that you are only a mere human. You want to be seen as the strongest member of this party, but you truly know that I am stronger. So now you want be to belittle myself." Legolas pronounced this in a quiet, dangerous voice.

"It is true I admire your battle skills, but I have no reason to be jealous of you." Aragorn said as calmly as he could.

The elf's stormy eyes flashed, a sign of the coming danger.

Gimli swallowed the meat and looked over to where Aragorn and Legolas were standing. He took another bite and tried to listen in on them, but Merry and Pippin's laughter at some joke drowned their intense conversation out.

_Bother. Now I have to get up to see what the matter is now_

He made some hurried excuse and quickly approached them, slowing down as he got nearer. Aragorn looked weary from the argument and Legolas' face was tinged pink as he went on in a low voice.

His tone sent shudders through Gimli. It was the same way he spoke in the woods of Lothlorien where he nearly stabbed Gimli. Flat, yet full of anger and hysteria.

It now occurred to Gimli that Legolas might not have finished the Galadriel's potion. His hand dove into his pocket where he tightly held the little bottle.

_How on earth do we give this to him now?_

A brittle laugh filled the air. Gimli cringed to hear his friend go on like that.

"You have every reason to be jealous of me, Estel. Not just for my skills, but my immortality." Legolas' pleasant lips were now curled into a sneer.

Aragorn bristled. "Where are you going with this?"

"Arwen." Legolas waited patiently, knowing he had hit a sore spot with Aragorn.

Aragorn began to turn red with fury.

"I believe Lord Elrond has already told you the consequences of you loving her. Oh, you can marry her, yes, once this quest is over, but then she will be left alone here for eternity once you die." Legolas said, smiling as if he were playing a game.

And he was playing a game, Gimli saw. A dangerous one that was played on so many levels. Within himself, with Aragorn, and even with me.

"Are you truly that selfish?" Legolas asked, taunting. A cruel glitter in his eyes made his previous statements even more venomous. "Can you leave her here even after you are long dead? But again, you may die on this quest. Perhaps it will be better for Arwen this way."

Aragorn remained silent, although his fists were clenched into hard balls.

Gimli groaned loudly, shocked to the core Legolas had actually said those words.

Legolas turned his disdainful gaze to Gimli. He was suddenly terrified of Legolas, just as he had been on that night in Lothlorien. He became doubly afraid. Would Legolas hurt himself and attack us again?

"So nice for you to have joined us, dwarf." Legolas stressed the last word sarcastically.

"Legolas, you must calm down." Gimli said steadily. "This is getting out of hand." He glanced nervously at the campfire where the hobbits and Boromir sat, eating. "Perhaps we should move farther away."

Aragorn shrugged impatiently. Gimli looked to Legolas, who, to his surprise, began stalking off further. Gimli sighed in immense relief, and followed them quickly.

Legolas turned around to face Gimli, and kneeled so he would be at eye level. Gimli took a sudden step back at this, but stared back adamantly at the elf. Legolas' gaze bored into him.

"Tell me something." He said softly. "Would you ever try to hurt me?"

"Of course not." Gimli replied, aware that Aragorn stood near. He was ashamed to think of the ranger as protection from Legolas.

Legolas began shaking in silent fury. "Then why… why do you try to poison me?" 

Gimli tried not to back away, but fear took hold of him. He scrambled further away and stood next to Aragorn. "I would never try to poison you."

"When then, was the liquid you put into my water?" Legolas demanded. He stood up and glared at them.

Aragorn looked at Gimli, who looked back at him, stricken. He shut his eyes briefly and shook his head. "Legolas, I will explain." Aragorn said finally. "Back at Lothlorien, while you were unconscious, Galadriel gave to you a potion that stopped the voice. It was called _nwayla faire. _She told us that it would be difficult for you to think while you were under it's influence, which is why Gimli and I had decided not to speak of it with you. " 

"So you lied to me." 

"You would not have taken it on your own." Gimli said stubbornly.

"You are correct." Legolas said. He began to pace angrily. "I wouldn't have. But do I not have the right to make my own decisions just as much as you?"

"Of course you do. But Legolas, you were in no condition to be making decisions like that then." Gimli said.

"Enough." In the pale moonlight, Gimli saw that Legolas' eyes turned several shades darker.

"Enough."

_They lied to me…_

_They betrayed me…_

_The man demeans me…_

_The dwarf poisons me…_

_But no more._

Startled, Gimli moved closer to Legolas out of habit and concern. "Legolas, listen to us." He said. "Take Galadriel's potion. It will help you."

"You always seem to think that the worst things for me are the best things." Legolas said, his darkened eyes unsettling. His voice suddenly rose to a shout. "And did I not say that I've had enough?" Legolas grabbed Gimli by the shoulders and slammed him against a tree, pinning him there.

Gimli stared at Legolas dizzily, stunned. He felt a line of blood slide down the side of his face. "Legolas?" he stammered.

"Let Gimli go." Aragorn commanded. He stepped closer, his hand on the hilt of his sword.

Legolas noticed. In a motion quicker than the eye could see, he drew his knife. "I will kill him if you come closer." He said dangerously.

Aragorn stopped dead in his tracks. "You cannot mean that," he said hoarsely. "Gimli is your friend, as I am."

"So I thought." Legolas spat. 

Gimli wiggled in Legolas' strong grip, trying to free himself, but to no avail. "Legolas, this is madness." Legolas raised the knife, the same one he cut himself with, and studied Gimli with a look of dawning realization.

With horror, Gimli saw what Legolas was going to do and began struggling wildly. "Legolas, stop it now or you will regret this!"

"Legolas, fight it!" Aragorn shouted to him. "_Maeth ha, Legolas!_

The elf looked wildly from Gimli to Aragorn and back again, confused. His face was contorted with concentration. "Be silent!" Legolas' words pierced the still air. 

_Kill them and be done with it._

_Do not listen when they say they are friends._

_But…_

_Did they not lie to you?_

_Yes…_

_A true warrior would not hesitate to dispatch an enemy. Weakling._

Then, at the same time:

_Legolas, stop it now or you will regret this!_

_Legolas, fight it! Maeth ha, Legolas!_

_I do not want to listen to any of this! _

"Be silent!"

To be continued

Well, that's all for this round. And heck, look at that. 96 reviews. My word, that's insane. It's so great that I no longer feel overwhelmed by  physics.

Cheysuli: I apologize a million times for accidentally messaging you. As you can see, physics is really bugging me right now. I keep talking about it. My teacher 'forgot' to mention two important formulas that we needed for today's work, and I went absolutely crazy. Thanks for reviewing!

Rainy: It's a good thing a write the thank yous before I send the e-mail out, or I would have missed you! *sighs in relief*

Lady-Daine: Er…. Elvish in correct grammatical structure?? The vocab is right, I'm pretty sure, but as for grammar…well... I must confess, I placed words the same way I would have written in French. *hangs head* I have no idea how to use grammar in elvish.

Soulsearacher - arbariel: *bows back* I love doing that. And when I updated, I had the exact same reaction. (YESSSSSS I UPDATED!!) I went further  through my reviews and realized you reviewed for chapter 5 and 6! And I have read your fic, it was amazing. Wrong tense. It IS amazing.

Daw- The little end bit was bad of me. I wanted to write a Legolas childhood fic with that scene in mind, but I couldn't come up with a proper plot for a story to use it in. But it worked out for me in the end, I suppose. Thanks for the review!

Lirenel: *grins* Yep, Legolas the crazy elf. Or the elf in the process of going crazy. I'm horrible. I need sympathy for the characters.

Anyadvorak: *cringes* Oh lord, the summary. I cannot, for the life of me, summarize. But thank you for reviewing, I'm glad you're liking it so far.

Erhothwen: *gasp* I love crazy straws!! And I'm pretty bad in theatres. At that scene you were talking about (Legolas and Aragorn arguing) I literally jumped up and yelled "Get him in the face, Leggy!" Too bad he didn't.

Wicked Misty: Yes, the poor rabbits. Rabbits will forever thank Legolas for not eating them. ^_^

Dream Keeper: *chokes as shirt collar is grabbed* Okay… I got it up as quickly as I could! And this chapter should answer most of the other questions you asked. ^_^  Muse….. hmm…. I need to get this concept straight. A muse is one of the mythological Greek ladies of the arts, right? Am I supposed to have one?? (As you can see, I know nothing.) And 5 people from your school?? Holy cow! Tell them I say thank you for reading!

Shinzui: Cookies!! How ironic. I'm actually eating some cookies (oatmeal) as I type this. I've slightly changed how the voice it done, because it's starting to - *claps hand over mouth* Mmphf. Can't say much more. Thank you for the review! As for the elvish, it's off a program I've downloaded called Dragonflame. I can't recall the link, but I'll look it up for you.

St.CatherineEvangelineWoodsorel: Based on your review, I think you are the only person that doesn't want him to go crazy! Unfortunately…. The voice is at it again.

Merrylyn: Printed out the stories… wouldn't that take a ton of paper? And thank you. I'm turning red with pleasure as I read your review.  (and by the way, a stupid question that popped into my mind. You spoke of lifesavers… what colour? ^_^)

As I've gotten quite a few requests for the update e-mail, I figured it must be somewhat of a time-saver. So I'll just continue to offer it. Just let me know if you want the e-mail, by either leaving the request in a review or e-mailing me. And that settles the ending note, I think. Yup, it does. As for the next chapter, I'd estimate about a week, but I can't promise anything. Could be more or less. ^_^ 


	8. You lie to hide your fear

Colour of Distress

Disclaimer – I am really tired of writing that Lord of the Rings is not mine in anyway. Because I want it to be mine, and because I HAVE to write this annoying thing to specifically state that it is not mine. I have to rub it into my own face.

A/N: I actually survived physics and I came through with my one-week deadline. Go me!

Chapter 8 – You lie to hide your fear.

Aragorn watched Legolas mull frantically over Gimli with an air of panic and, at the same time, detachment. In a corner of his mind, he felt that Legolas would never have had the heart to kill his friend, but still panicked because Legolas was obviously not in his right mind, and would be prone to do anything.

The way Legolas screamed for silence startled the man. Aragorn did not know if he meant for the voice to stop, or for them to stop. He admitted to himself heavily that he was afraid of Legolas.

Suddenly, Legolas' eyes cleared and he appeared to be calm.

Relieved, Aragorn approached the elf slowly, intending to take the knife away. Legolas smiled at the man, but it was not in friendship. His heart dropped when he saw the malice in Legolas' face.

"I told you not to approach me." He spat. "However, it will be Gimli who will suffer the consequences of your foolish actions."

Gimli turned pale. "That, I say, is unfair." He muttered.

Aragorn was giving way to despair. "Legolas…" he said quietly. "What has happened to you?" he searched his friend's face, but instead received a stony stare.

"Your jealousy." 

"You have already accused me of that, and of selfishness as well." Aragorn said, raising his hands in the air. "And if it appeases the demon, I will gladly agree."

"I see no demon here." Legolas said calmly, as he twirled the knife around his fingers. His grip on Gimli was still, allowing him no chance of escape.

"Then look within yourself!" Aragorn exploded. "How are you so weak as to let a demon, or whatever this shadow voice is, take you over?"

_I must keep talking to him. If I can delay him hurting Gimli for long enough… perhaps the voice will loosen its hold._

 Legolas seemed to shrink back within himself, although he still held Gimli tightly, as if his life depended on it. "But I am strong, Estel," he whispered, swallowing a sob. "Galadriel has told me so."

_Estel… do not be angry with me._

_I am trying…_

_Forgive me, Gimli…_

_My actions are not my own…_

_Did you not hear that? Your dear friend has called you weak._

_Galadriel has said otherwise. You lie._

_Then you are saying you lie to yourself._

_No…._

_You did not believe me, but I speak only the truth to you._

_Look at the dwarf, see how he struggles to escape you. No friend would do that._

_See how the man grows red with fury. These are no friends._

_Delay no longer. Kill them now._

_Legolas!_

Gimli was shocked as the elf regained himself for a moment. The suffering that Legolas was in showed for a brief flicker upon his face. "Legolas!" he cried out, madly trying to reach his friend.

"You are no friend!" Legolas burst out furiously at Aragorn. "You covet my position!"

Aragorn had softened again when he saw Legolas' eyes previously fill with tears, and let his harsh tone pass.  "I do not know of what you speak."

"You wish to be king."

Any resolve that Aragorn had to be gentle with Legolas vanished. "I choose my position of my own will." He said.

"You envy me! I was born into my position of a prince and kept it effortlessly. And I am prince of an immortal race, unlike you!" Legolas shouted. His fair face was tinged with red.

"And what does it matter that you are a prince of the elves while I am rightfully a king of men?" It took all of his self-restraint not to fly at the elf and hurt him.

"Being raised by Elrond, you realized that you wanted to be an elf. Then you would have been good as elf royalty after you married your precious Arwen. Admit it, human." Flaming blue eyes met stormy black ones in a triumphant attack. "You wish you were me."   

Aragorn drew his sword in a flash, turning red with rage. "Voice or not, what you are saying must come from deep within yourself! I have tried being patient and understanding, elf, but you take me too far!"

"Aragorn, perhaps you want to be more prudent with your sword. If you'd like to recall, Legolas has a knife at my throat." Gimli said uncomfortable. He hoped that Aragorn would keep his temper.

                Aragorn hated everything about Legolas at this moment. He hated the mix vulnerability and arrogance that he was now showing, he hated his long, fair hair, and he hated his delicate, pointed ears. So when Legolas tilted his head to the side in an elegant motion, studying Aragorn with narrowed eyes, he saw red and snapped.

                The man flew forwards, uncaring of anything except that he had to mortally wound the elf.

Gimli's eyes widened with shock as Aragorn stood, looking at Legolas with pure revulsion and hatred. He heart plummeted into his stomach as Aragorn charged forward to Legolas, who still held the dwarf against a tree.

"The foolish human." Legolas spat. He turned around to face Gimli, who shuddered inwardly. He was also immensely dismayed when he saw Legolas' up close for the first time in days. His face was drawn and alarmingly white, his eyes burned with a mix bitterness, scorn, and fear, and his normally glossy hair was dull. Legolas looked like he was barely alive.

_How could I have been so blind to his anguish?_

_How could I let this get so out of hand? _

The knife was raised at Gimli, who immediately squeezed his eyes shut remorsefully. He began praying for an easy death, and suddenly heard the sound of the knife being thrust. He fell to the ground heavily.  

All his senses were heightened, and he felt exhilarated by the upcoming fight. Legolas spun to avoid a thrust from Aragorn's sword, and stood in a casual way, leaning against a tree trunk.

"You cannot win this fight, because you are now unarmed. Give up now." Aragorn snarled. He raised his sword again.

"Am I truly unarmed?" Legolas said, amused. "I have my bow and arrow. I could shoot you now before you realize what has happened. But I know what you mean. A sword is the only true weapon to you, is it not?" He shrugged. "But I am still armed either way."

Aragorn laughed harshly. "You lie to hide your fear."

Legolas pushed back the cloak Galadriel gave to the fellowship to reveal a scabbard decorated in intricate designs, complete with a sword. He drew it, and the cold steel glinted in the dim moonlight. "I take it you are surprised. My father gifted it to me as I left Mirkwood to attend the council with Elrond. I believe you are the first person besides myself and my father to see it."

"You are no swordsman." Aragorn said scornfully.

"Of course not. I am an archer. I do not appreciate swords, which is why I never wore it until tonight, when I felt in my heart it would be needed. And before the sun rises, I will learn how to use it as well as the bow." Legolas said archly.

"If I do not kill you first."

Legolas blinked, and his gaze wavered. "Would you truly?" he whispered urgently. He put his hand out to the tree trunk to steady himself. "Estel, you would free me from this?"

Aragorn faltered for a moment, remembering what Legolas had written on the trees in blood. _Has Legolas overcome the voice? _But he immediately hardened himself to it.  _It is a trick. I am sure of it._

The elf shook his head violently for a moment, causing his hair to whip about his face.  "Enough of this talking." Without further warning, he leapt forward, slashing at Aragorn.

Sparks flew as the man brought his own sword up to meet the attack. Legolas took a step away, and swung the sword around. Aragorn ducked, and was sure that he would have been sliced in two if he hadn't. 

They now stood apart, glaring at each other. 

Aragorn brushed his dark hair from his eyes. "Elves were always quick learners." He said mordantly. That fact made him even angrier, and his desire to hurt Legolas grew. Aragorn did not let him reply, but instead launched his own offensive against the elf.

Legolas jumped to avoid a low slash, and quickly brought his knee down on Aragorn back, knocking him into the ground.

Legolas held the sharp tip of his sword at Aragorn's throat. "Humans were always blinded by their emotions." He said with an unsettling gaze. "If you were an elf, you would have sensed my attack in advance."

Aragorn rolled to the side quickly, although the sword tip did scratch him, creating a long red line across his throat. "And you are too arrogant right now to be alert at all times. A true elf would have killed me right then. You are no elf."

Legolas suddenly turned grey, and his eyes were wild. He cried out wordlessly in a rage, and began attacking Aragorn as if he were in a mania.

Aragorn effortlessly beat the attacks back, uncaring that tears were now streaming down Legolas' face. Hatred had filled him completely, and could care less that he was hurting his friend in the worst possible way.

"You are no elf."

_Didn't your 'friend' just confirm what I have told you all along?_

_No, NO!_

_Ada! Nana! Mithrandir! _

_Edraith nin! (Save me!)_

_Leathiate nin! (Release me!)_

_Ada!_

To be continued….

As the sadist as I am, I had to make Legolas cry out for his mother and father because he's so afraid. I'm terrible.

Here are my reviewers, as wonderful as ever:

Houki: It's your pick. I wrote it so that it could be taken either way, which I really like. I couldn't figure out which one he should be screaming to, so I do think it is a stroke of genius on my part. (And those don't happen often.)

Cheysuli: I was regretting taking physics that day, but now… it's not so bad anymore. And I think someone will walk into the whole fight scene pretty soon, although the three of them did move father away from where they camped. And where did you get that book on Sindarin and Quenya sentence structure? 

Rainy: My lord, I forgot to write in the outcome of Gimli!! Er…. Next chapter, we'll find out. I promise. 

Skye: Did you mean that it was awkward that I left it there or that it was just a cliffhanger?

RainyDayz : Wow, thank you. And I'm assuming you were talking about coming back after that month where the fic just sat there because I wrote nothing. (I think it was back in December). I had to kick myself really hard to get writing.

Erthothwen: I'll fully take you up on that offer about physics homework. ^_^  Meh… three pennies? I thought Legolas would come back from the dark side for the blue lint. (Loved your review, I laughed like mad and spat ginger ale all over my screen.)

Silent Angel: Apart from getting an email about an updated fic, I LOVE e-mails, except for spam. I'm crazy about them. I love the little box that pops up in the corner of my screen when I have new mail. I've even trained my computer to say "Hello, this is Orlando Bloom." Everytime I have a new e-mail. My god, I really need to stop. Babbling on about emails….. *sighs*

Lady Daine: I'm as far from a Tolkien purist as one can get, short of hating him. ^_^  But I do think the guy was pretty brilliant for coming up with the whole Lord of the Rings deal. And the italics….  I never thought about how I got them. I save it in html format on Microsoft word, so maybe that's why? Ooh, do you think I can train my turtle to do my work for me? For all I know, Pookie's brilliant!

Soulsearcher-arbariel : I watched Buffy in it's early days, but I never seem to watch it anymore. So I would have no idea about the Willow and huge eyes thing. And I completely agree with you that Legolas and Aragorn should have had some huge scene where they blow up at each other and start fighting. Legolas is so laid back in the movie. I wish he were a bit more aggressive. Eeee…. Please don't kill me. *gets out Legolas action figure* Hahaha! He will protect me! ^_^

MiriGreenleaf: Oh gosh, the flu! I normally get it every year, but apparently not this year. *knocks on wood* Anyways, get better soon!

Merrylyn – Chapter titles… hmm… before I save and upload my chapters, I just skim through the chapter and pick out a short statement from it that would vaguely apply to everything that occurs in the chapter. And voila!, I have a chapter title. I haven't considered starting another fic yet, because this one is so consuming. And I've got no idea what to write about. The only members of the fellowship that interest me are Legolas, Aragorn, and Gimli. (Obviously.) That and I would have to sit and think for a plot….

Milu – Actually, I thought the elvish took away from the story, because I had the translations in brackets. But if people like it, I'll keep it going.

Dream Keeper – That sounds so interesting! I've never thought about it much before. Do tell more, unless you don't feel like typing much. (By the way, thanks for the explanation.)

I don't remember who I told I'd find the address of the website I got my elvish dictionary program for (I think it was Shinzui), so here it is.: http://www.jrrvf.com/%7Ehisweloke/sindar/  I think it's pretty good, as I don't write tons of elvish.

Again, let me know if you want an e-mail telling you about chapter updates… and I'll get the Chapter 8 up ASAP. I can't hazard a guess this week when it'll be done because I'm being swamped with work. And that settles everything!


	9. I will keep faith

Color of Distress

Disclaimer – Maybe I'll do a proper one this time. Lord of the Rings does not belong to me, Tiffany, or as my screen name says, princess_yumin in any way. Lord of the Rings, and practically everything associated to it, belongs completely to JRR Tolkien. I am not associated with the brilliant man, and I am not doing this fic for money. All characters, including the hot elf Legolas, is not mine as well. Well, it's as proper as a disclaimer gets with me.

A/N: Well, I don't have much to say this time except… wow, chapter 9 already. It's moving along nicely. Enjoy!

Chapter 9 – "I will keep faith!"

The two swords clashed again and rang clear through the woods. The elf was red in the face and was attacking without reason, striking blindly. The man, although slower, blocked the frenzied attacks calmly.

"You will not win." Aragorn growled. He tried an attack, but it was swiftly blocked.

Legolas made no reply. His face was wet with tears, and his heart raced within him. Legolas was determined never to speak another word to Aragorn.  He silently exchanged blows with the man, his face set in a dangerous expression. He heard the whistle of the sword by his ear, and saw a few strands of his hair flutter to the ground. He narrowed his eyes.

"Oh, look at that." Aragorn sneered. "Your perfect hair."

Legolas stared blankly at them, then shrugged. 

_It is naught but a few strands. _

_He will not get the better of me._

_I will not listen to him._

_I will not spare him._

_And by dawn, he shall lay in his own blood._

_Or I will be._

A mad throbbing pierced his skull. Gimli rolled onto his side and groaned as he sat up in a pile of dead leaves. He blinked until his eyes were back in focus, shook his head, then rubbed his sore behind.

"I must not be dead if I am in so much pain…" he moaned to himself. And then he remembered Legolas and Aragorn. He jumped to his feet but nearly fell back down again at what he saw.

They were engaged in deadly combat, and although Legolas seemed to be more panicked, no one could get the better of either. Aragorn threw what could have been a deadly thrust, but Legolas was ready and leapt to the side, immediately slashing at the man.

Although Legolas' movements were passionate and frenzied, his eyes held only an indifferent look of malice. His face was set in a hard mask; making it evident he would care less if Aragorn lay dead at his feet. As for Aragorn, Gimli noted with rising alarm, there was nothing less than sheer fury and hatred written upon his face.

"How did it come to this?" Gimli muttered to himself. He jumped as Aragorn cursed loudly as he missed running Legolas through, but managing to hit him in the side with a hard fist. He shivered as watched the scene unfold before him.

Legolas barely flinched from the hit, and immediately countered with a swipe of his sword. Aragorn dodged it and managed to avoid being hit. They stood apart catching their breath at opposite ends of the clearing, and neither had taken any notice of Gimli, who stood petrified that any one of his friends could be killed at any moment.

He chewed on his lip nervously, trying to think of a safe way to make them stop. Unfortunately, he could not think of a solution, and Gimli did not want to get further involved. He knew that both his friends were perfectly capable of slicing someone's head off when angry.

Gimli cleared his throat noisily, trying to get their attention.

                A low growl came from Aragorn. "Stay out of this, Gimli. Legolas should concern you no longer. He is not worth your attention."

                Gimli was torn. "But Aragorn, you know he is troubled. Did Galadriel not ask us to watch over him?"

                Aragorn looked slightly apologetic, but remained stubborn. "We have watched over him carefully. But I cannot do this anymore. This voice will tear us all apart, and he is no longer fights it. Legolas goes too far."

                "Damn your pride!" Gimli cried. "He does not mean it!"

                He looked away from Gimli and stared hard at Legolas. "How do we know that?"

                "What?"

                "How do we know that he does not mean it?" Aragorn repeated. "You could see him fighting it before. I believe he has given into it, and what he says and does is a part of himself."

                "You have given up on him?" Gimli was aghast.

                Aragorn did not move at all. "Yes. And I will kill him tonight."

                "You cannot kill him!" Gimli was beginning to get angry, but kept a tight hold on his temper. "Fine, give up on him, I will keep faith, but don't kill Legolas!"

                "I will not change my mind." He took a step closer to Legolas, raising his sword higher, and looked back at Gimli menacingly. "Do not try to stop me."

                Gimli nearly screamed with frustration. "Legolas!" he called to his friend. "End this now."

                Legolas took this the wrong way on purpose, and made a mock bow to Gimli. "If you have finished your charming conversation with the dirty human, I will." He agilely began a series of fresh attacks at Aragorn.

                "No! I did not mean end his life!" Gimli shouted, and unhooked his axe from his belt to be prepared if they came his way. 

                "It will end when his life does." Legolas spat, missing a hard thrust.

                "Stop the fight!" Gimli begged. "If not for yourselves then for the hobbits. Frodo needs both of you to guide him."

                His pleas went unanswered. Both Legolas and Aragorn were in deep concentration, and all that could be heard from the two was an occasional grunt and the clashing of the swords. Aragorn made the mistake of turning his back to Legolas for a split second, but it was all that was needed.

                Gimli could not catch the movement with his sharp eyes, but once again, Aragorn was on the ground, and Legolas' sword tip was pressed onto his chest. He felt sick as the tip moved over the man's heart and stopped purposefully.

                "I will not make the same mistake again." Legolas said softly, his expression unreadable. He stepped hard on Aragorn's hand until he dropped his sword, and kicked it aside.

                "Then you will grant me an honorable death." Aragorn said stolidly. A thin line of sweat trailed down his forehead.

Legolas lifted the tip of the sword. "On your knees, then."

                _How did it come to this?_

                _I finally have him._

                Gimli was close to sobbing. A look mad of triumph lit up Legolas' eyes. He wanted to throw up. Legolas stood behind Aragorn, and held his sword ready by the man's neck.

                Gimli met Legolas' eyes pleadingly, but the elf glared back. He was afraid again. Gimli looked into Aragorn's eyes, which were still lit with an angry flame.

                _He is going to die hating Legolas._

_                Legolas will live on forever hating the memory of Aragorn._

Legolas swung the sword up in a high arc.

                "This is not happening!" Gimli shouted. In one irrational moment, he ran forwards, barreling into Legolas and Aragorn. 

                In the following confusion, he grabbed Legolas from behind and held him tightly as he could, ignoring the hits that were raining down upon him.

                "Aragorn!" he shouted.

                The man was on his feet. "So you are helpful after all." He said ominously. Aragorn retrieved his sword.

                "Traitor!" Legolas cried, and a look of the betrayed was written on his face. 

                "No!" Gimli exploded.  His face was a deep red. "Aragorn, put that sword down!"

                Aragorn was surprised by the amount of force and anger in Gimli's voice that he stopped. He crossed his arms impatiently. "Why?"

                "In my pocket is the potion from Galadriel. Give it to Legolas." Gimli commanded, still clutching the elf tightly.

                "No." Aragorn said. "My intention to kill him is still there. If you try to stop me, I have no qualms in killing you as well."

                "Do it!" Gimli shouted. "Can you not see that this is the only way? Killing us will not accomplish anything. Give it to him, Aragorn, and we will fight with Legolas!"

                "If it is not a death by the sword, it is a death by poisoning!" Legolas said quietly, still struggling against Gimli.

                "You must trust me." Gimli said, holding him tighter still. "Galadriel gave it to us. Does she have any reason to poison you? I doubt it. Will you take it willingly, Legolas? It would pain me to force you."

                Legolas began shaking violently. "No. I'll have not of that." his whispered. His efforts at freeing himself became even more vigorous. __

Gimli sighed heavily, suddenly feeling deflated. "Aragorn, will you help me?"

                Aragorn looked up to the sky, battling with his pride and his buried love and concern for his friends. Finally he looked back, resigned to it. "Very well."

                "No!" Legolas screamed suddenly. "I would rather die!"

                _Miserable elf._

_                You lost your chance again._

_                You did not succeed in forcing me to kill Aragorn._

_                My faith in Gimli was rightly placed._

_                Was your lesson in obedience at Lothlorien not enough?_

_                Would you like another one?_

                I would rather die.

                Legolas clawed at Gimli's solid arms, trying to break the impenetrable hold. "You cannot do this to me!" 

                Aragorn retrieved the bottle from Gimli's pocket and opened it carefully; avoiding Legolas flailing arms and legs.

                "Let me die instead!" Legolas said with a wrenched sob. His eyes were wide with fear, his lips pale. "This will send me to it!"

                "Trust me, Legolas." Gimli grunted. It was all he could say. He was having a harder time holding onto him as Legolas grew more desperate in his movements. He switched positions to make everything easier for Aragorn. Gimli held Legolas' head still with one hand and felt terrible as he looked into Legolas' helpless, frightened eyes. He held the elf's mouth open with the other hand, and sat on top of him to hold him down.

                Aragorn averted his eyes as he placed two drops of the potion in between Legolas' lips. He no longer held a grudge against Legolas, and it hurt him to see the elf so powerless.

                The effect was almost instant.

                " _Ten_ _faro-im…" _Legolas murmured in broken voice before his eyes fell shut and his body went limp.

                "What does that mean?" Gimli whispered, gently letting him go.

                Aragorn was troubled. "Perhaps we should not have given it to him… he said 'it will hunt me.' Legolas is never afraid without a good reason."

                Gimli stood there, not knowing whether to be relieved or afraid. "I told him to trust us. We will protect more then before. I promised."

                "If we can help him at all..." Aragorn said heavily, sheathing his sword.

To be continued.

Good lord, I've gotten an overwhelming amount of responses with my last chapter, some even by e-mail, and I can't possible go through and thank everyone individually like I used to do. So here are the brilliant reviewers, in order of when I received them: 

Cheysuli, Lhachel, Erhothwen, O.B.I.M, Becca, Valerie, Elf Child, Soulseearcher - arbariel, merrylyn, SIHansonWeasleyGamgee, Raindayz, Criket, Musicgrl, Imaginator, analorien, MiriGreenleaf, Jessica, Meenie, Skye, Wicked Misty, Fantasia, orli, Kaimelieamin, Lady-Daine, Imirie, Saki, Anya Dvorak, and Ana!

Whew. Actually, what the heck. I'll respond to some.

Cheysuli – Thanks for the book. It's really helpful, although I haven't had much time to look at it. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!

Erhothwen – Legolas must have been dropped on the head several times as a baby… maybe it was done or purpose?? Just joking. 

O.B.I.M. – Maybe it's me being obsessed and psychotic, but does OBIM stand for Orlando Bloom is mine??

Soulsearcher- Arbariel – Oh… my… lord. Your review has to be the most passionate thing I have ever read. The whole scene didn't really end up the way you predicted though…. And man, I have to get someone in there soon! It was supposed to be in this chapter, but it didn't happen. Oh well. There's always the next chapter.

RainyDayz – I love the HOLY MOTHER OF LIFE SUCKING ORC SHRIEKS thing you wrote. It had me rolling on the floor… did you come up with that? It's brilliant!

Meenie – I am NOT better than JK Rowling. But heck. I bow back to you. 

I got a lot of reviews bemoaning cliffhangers, but I don't do it intentionally. It's just where I stop writing after one session, so I'll try to tone it down as much as possible. Hopefully, it's not so bad this time. If you want an update e-mail, let me know, but Chapter 10 will probably be done in a week. Wednesdays seem good as an update day.  It's nice to have a deadline. You actually get working.


	10. Like a land of death

Color of Distress

Disclaimer: Lord of the Rings, it's characters, and practically everything associated with it does not belong to me. (How unfortunate.) In any case, this was written for enjoyment's sake, so don't sue me for it.

A/N – I thought that this was one disturbing chapter. This is kind of where the horror category kicks in again. It's not terrifyingly horrible, but a bit gory. I don't know what your comfort level with this stuff is, so tread carefully, and you have been warned. Enjoy.

Chapter 10 : " … like a land of death"

                There was a slight rustling in the bush, and Aragorn, who heard it first, whipped around warily. "Who's there?" He called out.

                There was no reply.

                "Come out of hiding." Aragorn commanded. 

                Gimli looked at him worriedly. "What if it is an orc?" he whispered as quietly as possible. 

                Aragorn shrugged and gripped his sword, and moved silently into the bushes. He quickly brought the flat side of the blade down into the center of the bush.

                There was an indigent shout of pain, and Boromir popped out. Aragorn sheathed his sword, irritated. 

                "Why are you here?"  Gimli demanded, rolling his eyes in disgust.

                Boromir rubbed the top of his head, blinking. "You had all wandered away from the fire and have not been back for awhile. I just came looking for you."

                "And you left the hobbits alone?" Aragorn asked, glancing sideways at Legolas' lifeless figure on the ground. Boromir hadn't noticed yet. "You had better go back. If an orcs show up they will have trouble."

                "I cannot defend them against an army." Boromir pointed out.

                "Just go back!" Gimli said in annoyance.

                Boromir did not appear to be listening. "What is wrong with the elf?" he asked instead.

                Gimli threw a panicked look at Aragorn.

                "Orcs." Aragorn said smoothly. "We were patrolling the area, not wandering off, as you put it. We found orc scouts and Legolas was knocked in the head."

                Boromir raised his eyebrows. "Really? How unusual. He would be the last one here I'd expect to be knocked out cold. Where are the bodies? Is something wrong with Legolas?"

                "Buried them." Gimli interjected. "Smelly, filthy things. Now go back to camp and watch the hobbits in case there are more."

                "What about Legolas?" Boromir persisted. "What was he doing getting knocked in the head, fighting with both eyes closed?"

                "I would not know. I was not watching the battle while Legolas fought." Aragorn said shortly.

                "I see. I guess I'll go back, then." Boromir said. "And you should come back too. It will not be safe if there are orc scouts." With that, he marched back into the direction of the camp, swinging his dagger.

                Gimli snorted. "Fine man."

                "There would have been trouble if he had found out." Aragorn stated bluntly. "Help me lift Legolas." He bent over and lifted his friend under the arms.

                Gimli moved forward and picked Legolas up by the ankles. "I will watch him for the rest of the night."

                Aragorn shook his head, and smiled a little. "You have done enough tonight. I will watch him. If he cries out, it will be in elvish, and you do not understand any of it."

                "No need to mock me about it." Gimli muttered, but he nodded. "Although, I truly hope he will not cry out." His eyes held a look of the haunted. "To hear what he is going through is terrible, but I can only imagine how he suffers."

                It was different.

                Before he only heard in the blackness, unable to move or defend himself.

                But now he could stand and move around.

                The change was not comforting.

                Legolas felt for his bow and arrow and kept them ready, trembling. He looked around, turning in a slow circle as he did. There was nothing to see. He stood on dead grass, and around him stretched a misty plain that did not end as far as his eyes could tell.

                _Elbereth, tirith-or nin… (Elbereth, watch over me…) _

_                Sen a na talath o guruth... _(_This is like a land of death…)_

"Aragorn….?" Legolas called softly, searching for his friends. "Gimli…?"

                Even though he was alone, Legolas was hit with a sudden sense of pride, and his straightened his back, feeling ashamed that he had to call to his friends because of his fear.

                _I am an elven warrior prince. _

_                Galadriel believes in me._

_                I will fight._

Legolas decided to begin walking.  They were no sun or stars, but it did not matter; he could not tell if it was day or night. So he picked a direction and went, walking purposefully, although unsure of what he had to do.

                He had been walking for some distance when he saw a shadowy figure up ahead, clouded by the thick mist. Legolas drew his arrow until the bowstring was taut and approached the figure carefully. He breathed in sharply and his icy fingers dropped the bow to the ground.

                  He tried to speak, but his voiced cracked. "Estel?" he whispered hoarsely. Legolas dropped to his knees beside the man. There was blood everywhere, and his sword rose from the middle of the Aragorn's chest. Legolas numbly placed his fingers onto the side of Aragorn's throat. Aragorn's eyes opened and he grabbed Legolas' hand.  

                "Who did this to you?" Legolas asked, close to tears. A vision of them swimming in blood entered his mind suddenly, and he shook it off quickly, shuddering.

                Aragorn coughed and laughed bitterly. "You play the fool." He said, breathing heavily. "It is your own sword that pierces me." Hatred flashed in his eyes. "I want you to get away from me."

                "It was not I!" Legolas cried. "Let me help you."

                "You have killed me." Aragorn dropped the elf's hand to wipe a trail of blood coming from his mouth.

                "No!" Legolas stood up and backed away quickly. "I was walking in this field when I came upon you."

                "What field?" Aragorn asked harshly. "I see no field from where you came. I may be dying, but I can still see!"

                Legolas turned around. His heart began pounding and his head spun. There no longer was a field, but an endless sea spread out before him. His feet sunk slightly into the sand, and gentle waves lapped mockingly at him.

                "That was not there!" Legolas stammered. "Believe me, it was a field!"

                "If you were still my friend, I would have believed you, regardless of what you might have said. But how do I believe someone who has just run me through?" Aragorn spat. He still lay upon the ground, his face lined with anger and weariness.

                "Upon my word, I did not kill you!"

                Aragorn coughed again. "Liar." He whispered, his eyes narrowed. "I hate you. When I pass on, beware. I will follow and hunt you until you die a miserable death, as I am."

                "Be quiet!" Legolas shouted, not wanting to hear it.

                "You cannot silence me."

                Legolas found his bow and arrow and drew it in a flash. "I wish for silence. I did not kill you, as you believe."

                Aragorn laughed cruelly, his eyes wide with pain.

                Legolas could not listen to it. He could not look at his dying friend anymore. "I do not know why you choose to believe what you do." He whispered with sorrow. "But you are still my friend, and I will help you. You will suffer no more." Swallowing tears, his released the arrow.

                "No!"

                Legolas whipped around at the familiar voice. "Gimli!" he said in relief. 

                The dwarf raised his axe threateningly. "Stay away from me." He growled.

                "But - "

                "I saw everything!" Gimli shouted furiously, his face red. "You stabbed him, and then shot him! How could you? You beastly murderer!"

                "Gimli, listen to me!" Legolas said frantically. "I found him with my sword in him, and I shot him only to release him from this suffering!"

                "So you believed there was no hope to save him?" Gimli demanded. His axe was still raised in defense.

                "You did not see him." Legolas said, looking at his bloodied hands. "You did not hear him. He accused me of killing him."

                "Well, you just have." Gimli stood like a statue, glowering fiercely. "He still breathed when you say you found him. Is that not killing?"

                "Would you rather have him suffer?" Legolas cried. "Would you have him lay there, saying terrible things to me, dying slowly?"

                 "You shot the last breath out of Aragorn." Gimli said icily. "Did he ask for the quick death?"

                Legolas stood mutely in shock. 

                _Gimli is right._

_                I shot him because I did not want to listen._

"I see I am right." Gimli said, staring at him in disgust. "You are a murderer."

                Legolas dropped his weapon and spread his arms out, worn out. He did not care what happened to him anymore. "Then kill me as well."

                "No." Gimli said coldly. "I want you to suffer in eternity." He began walking away.

                "No, please, Gimli … help me." Legolas pleaded. "Don't leave me alone." He followed the dwarf. 

                Gimli stopped and turned to face Legolas, and began laughing, his face contorted with anger. It was the same cruel laugh as Aragorn's. "Get away from me." Before Legolas could open his mouth, Gimli swung the handle of his axe at Legolas, who fell and sunk into a consuming blackness.

                "Oh no, what has happened to Master Legolas?" Merry asked, standing up and stretching.

                "I though elves are almost never hurt." Pippin mused, scratching his nose. "Oh well. It has to happen sometime, doesn't it?"

                Aragorn and Gimli gently laid Legolas on the ground. 

                "There was a small number of orc scouts further into the forest. Legolas was knocked out while we fought." Aragorn said. He and Gimli agreed that this was the story they would tell since it was what they said to Boromir.

                "Orcs?" Frodo said, with a worried expression.

                "They were only scouts. The rest are at least a day behind them." Gimli said reassuringly.

                "Then we are leaving in the morning?" Sam asked.

                "I hope to, if Legolas awakens by then." Aragorn said heavily. Celeborn had warned him about being tracked by the orcs, and that they would catch up if they delayed even slightly. The fellowship needed to reach the Falls of Rauros quickly, and a sense of urgency began to rise within him with these thoughts.

                "Legolas will wake by then." Gimli said firmly.

                "I truly hope so." Boromir said.

                Gimli sidled up to Aragorn. "Will he? It took nearly two days in Lothlorien." his whispered so no one else would overhear.

                "We cannot spare even half a day." Aragorn said softly back. "But it took longer because he was already injured." He was silent for a moment, recalling the trees. "We still have half the night to wait."

                "But when he does wake up, what condition will he be in?" Gimli asked in an undertone.

                "That is what I do not want to think about now."

To be continued…

*peers at readers from behind a chair* The trip to Legolas' mind in the 'dead land' wasn't too disturbing, was it? I really don't want to scare people off, but if it is getting waaay out of hand, I can start writing about a happy, un-tortured Legolas who frolics in sunshine, butterflies, and pretty flowers all day.

Okay, to all my reviewers:

Cheysuli – I've just noticed that you're practically always the first to read new chapters! I hereby award you with the … um…. "First Person to Read the New Chapter Award!"

Houki – 6th?? Uh –oh…. Here goes the sunshine, butterflies, and pretty flowers….

Click – AHHHHH!!! No wrath, please. I update on a regular basis!!! *on my knees* Pleas don't hurt me. ^_^

Judy – What life besides writing??? Oh wait. You been the Orlando Bloom ogling life I have as well. ^_^ Just thinking about it, I could make the chapters longer, but it would take more time to come out. I write on Microsoft Word, and every chapter ends up being 3-4 pages long, which always seems pretty long to me. But I guess when I convert it to web page format, it gets shorter.

Erhothwen -  *in a cheerleader outfit* Yaaaaaay , Legolas!!!! I just had the lovely mental image of Aragorn and Gimli in little cheerleader skirts, hairy legs and all.

Nobody's Fool – It'll soon be more than an evil voice!! *laughs evilly* Maybe in the next chapter or two.

SiHansonWeasleyGamgee – I couldn't possible kill of my main characters. Wait, they're not my characters, they are JRR Tolkien's. Ah, heck. I wouldn't have killed them.

RainyDayz – Well, it's not necessarily a demon….. but a duplicate evil elf??? Ohhh… I can picture the evil side of Legolas separating from the good side… black hair… emerald eyes… *shudders* And far-fetched ideas are good. I sometimes take suggestion from reviews and use it as a basis for certain aspects of the story. And Aragorn and Gimli will see soon enough. But they have to wait for Gandalf to come first. Er…. I need to stop.

Soulsearcher - arbariel – Whenever I read reviews like this, I have to move away from the computer, grin and blush like hell, and come back when I've calmed down. Thank you.

Anrion: Another one who's crying. Butterflies, here I come. (I'm joking. I wouldn't do it unless I had serious complaints.)

Kaimelieamin – All messed up and bloodied solved by the fake orc skirmish!! Yay!

Merrylyn – No way, you actually LIKE the cliffhangers?? They are fun to do in a sadistic sort of way, but I hardly do it intentionally. I originally wanted Gimli and Legolas to fight, but then I though that Legolas and Aragorn fighting would feel cooler.

Silent Angel – Funny you should like chapter 9 so much, because I had a tough time doing the fight. I can't figure out which is my own favourite chapter… for me, they all blur into one big one.

Fantasia – Deadlines can be bad. For instance, this chapter was five days ahead of time, finished on Saturday. But because of the Wednesday thing I set, I didn't want to put it on Fanfiction just yet, because I've said that Wednesdays is when people should check for updates.  Oh well. I can get started on chapter 11.

Lady-Daine – I want Legolas to slap the voice too. Well, we'll see it's physical form soon enough. In a few chapter's time, hopefully)

Valerie - *in tears* I don't intentionally write cliffhangers….. oh well. 

And more thanks to those I could not mention.  My fingers hurt so much from typing they are falling off!

Oh, just a question, since you're the readers. Would you prefer longer chapters that would take more time to come out, or should I continue with the length and time I'm working at now?

And another question. I've got it in my head to start another fic, but I need a little push to get started. So if you have some ideas for me, let me know, and I'd love to write it. ('It' preferably being anything to do with Legolas.) 

And if you want the update e-mail, just let me know. Until next time!


	11. Feel that it is false

                Color of Distress 

                Disclaimer – Not mine, not mine, not mine. Once more! Not mine.

                A/N – Here's another one of the boring transitional chapters where I get a bit philosophical. What can you do?? But I've also decided to give Legolas a bit of a break in this chapter to catch his breath. Enjoy!

                Chapter 11 – "Feel that it is false." 

                Legolas turned onto his side and blinked his eyes open. He felt a light cover slip off his chest as he sat up. Legolas did not move, but sat, trying to think intently. His surroundings were distinctly familiar, and his bow and arrow lay to one side. Sunlight poured in from above through a delicate lattice of leaves on the ceiling, and a fragrant scent of flowers drifted lazily in the air.

                Finally he stood up and looked down at the bed he was lying in. He could not shake the feeling that he knew this place. Legolas stepped through a carved doorway and stood on a small balcony overlooking several magnificent trees.

                Legolas turned around quickly as he heard footsteps approach him from behind, and his mouth opened in complete shock as a strand of pale hair entered his vision.

                Immediately, all his fear washed away. The weight he felt so much on lifted, and his heart became light once again. 

                "_Ada." _Legolas breathed, and his vision wavered as tears of joy gathered in his eyes. "I have missed you."

                Thranduil smiled at his son, but his eyes were solemn. "Legolas."

                Legolas felt ashamed. He would normally never be so emotional when he met his father after an absence. He brushed his tears quickly aside and stood slightly apart from the older elf.

                "Galadriel has spoken to me about you."

                Legolas nodded mutely. 

                _Everything will be fine now._

Thranduil sighed. "Why don't we pretend that we are back in Mirkwood again, and that you are a child again, when you once believed I could solve every problem? Tell me all that has happened to you."

                "Are we not in Mirkwood now?" Legolas asked, wistfully reaching out to touch a flower.

                "We are in your memory of our home." He paused, then went on. "Galadriel has told me some about the voice, but I do not know enough to be able to help you."

                Legolas shivered. "It is more than a voice now." He said softly, remembering. Forgetting his earlier embarrassment, he sat on the floor by his father and laid his head on Thranduil's knee like he did as a child.

                "What has it done?" Thranduil laid a warm hand on the top of Legolas' head.

                Legolas tightly closed his eyes. "It took me inside a nightmare."

                There was silence, and a morose whisper.

                "And I killed Aragorn."

                "I refuse to believe that." Thranduil's voice was sharp. "It made you believe that you killed him."

                "But Gimli saw." Legolas' heaviness returned in full force. 

                _He cannot change the fact I killed Aragorn._

                "Gimli?"  

                "One of my companions in the fellowship." Legolas said, realizing his father would not have known.

                "Gimli or not, you did not kill that man. Legolas, it is deceiving you." Thranduil said firmly. "Use your senses; feel that it is false. Fight it."

                Legolas found his head suddenly unsupported and fell over. He quickly stood up and was in the misty fields again. He saw the body of Aragorn and turned away from in, recoiling. He turned back to it as he heard his father's words resonating in his ears.

                Legolas stepped closer to it and used more than his sense of sight and touch. He rediscovered his innate elven knowledge, buried by his time in suffering and fear. He could not feel in the body traces of a quality he could not describe, but knew should be there even if Aragorn appeared to be dead.

                As he made the realization, the body faded and disappeared.   

                At the same time, a deep and mocking voice began speaking to him, creeping into his ears in all directions. It was a voice he knew well.

                "You now believe you can fight me."

                "You are quite wrong."

                With a shudder, Legolas realized that the voice was real and not like the false body of Aragorn. "Who are you?"

                "I am you." 

                "Stop lying to me. I know who I am, and you are not me." Legolas said angrily. "You made me believe I had murdered Aragorn, when I never could have. I demand that you show yourself to me!"

                There was silence.

                Legolas had suddenly returned to his room in Mirkwood.

                "The voice is powerful. It was enough to interrupt our conversation." Thranduil stated lowly. "There are few things strong enough to break communication between elves."

                "It would not show itself to me." Legolas said.

                Thranduil nodded with satisfaction. "Then it is afraid of you."

                "I am more afraid of it."

                Thranduil held Legolas by the shoulders tightly. "You must not think like that." He let Legolas go after a long moment. "There is another matter. Galadriel has also spoken to me of the_ nwalya faire_. She believes she has made a mistake in giving it to you, if you feel so strongly about it."

                "I do. It makes me sleep very deeply, and the voice can do much more than speak when I am unconscious." Legolas said, suppressing shivers.

                "It is also what allowed me to speak with you like this." Thranduil added sadly. "You are still young, and this cannot take place while you are awake."

                "How did Galadriel know about all this?" Legolas walked slowly around his room, touching familiar objects and holding close the memory of them.

                "She looked into the mirror." Thranduil answered, and impulsively held his son tightly to himself in a warm embrace. "_Legolas, nin ionnath mell, Estel-i guren." (Legolas, my beloved son. Trust in your heart.)_

_                "Innas-im nin guren bed enni."_ Legolas replied, grateful for the moment of affection. It fed his small conviction that he would be able to defeat the voice, and made him stronger._ (I will do what my heart tells me.)   _ 

                 "You will need to wake up soon." Thranduil said. "Your companions will be moving on."

                "I know." Legolas said quietly. "But I am ready."

                "_Namaarie." (Farewell.)_

_                "Mennai govannen-ad." (Until we meet again.)  _

                Aragorn squeezed water out of a cloth and gently wiped Legolas' face. He was encouraged when he saw that color was beginning to return to Legolas' cheeks, and his breathing ceased to be shallow and irregular. Legolas' eyes had opened slowly through the night, indicating normal slumber.

                Dawn was beginning to break and the land was silent, but punctuated with the deep snores of Gimli and the lighter wheezy ones of Sam. Aragorn dipped the cloth into the basin again and squeezed the water out, about to wipe Legolas' forehead.

                "I think," the elf murmured. "That although you have the best intentions, you are dripping water in my eyes on purpose."

                "You are awake." Aragorn said, slightly unnerved. "Why didn't you say something?"

                "I just woke up." Legolas corrected, sitting up. His expression was pained. "I am truly sorry… for what had happened. I would never draw a sword, or any other weapon, against you." He looked at Aragorn's expression and continued. "I could see what was happening. I tried to fight against it, but I could not win. I did not believe I could win. Forgive me."

                Aragorn shook his head. "And you must forgive me. I never thought that I could draw a sword with the intention to kill you, but I did. And if it were not for Gimli, I might have."

                Legolas smiled. "Kill me? You are horrible. I only had the intention to seriously maim you."

                With the joke, Aragorn knew everything was forgiven. "You nearly took off my head, actually."

                There was a loud yawn as Gimli woke, rubbing his eyes fuzzily. "Ah, Legolas, you have awakened." 

                Legolas lowered his head in acknowledgement to Gimli. "You are a true friend." He said solemnly. "For stopping me."

                Gimli was embarrassed. "I… I'm not that wonderful.  I sat on you and force fed you what you though was poison."  

                "It was what you thought was best." Legolas said. "And that was what I wanted to speak about, and it must be now before the others rise. I have spoken to my father, who has in turn recently spoken with Galadriel."

                "Why you were asleep?" Aragorn asked.

                "Yes. I will no longer take the _nwayla faire. _The voice can reach me easier when I am unconscious. And… it becomes more than a voice." Legolas said lowly.

                Gimli looked mortified. "If I had known…" he buried his head in his knees and began muttering to himself. At length he looked up, directly at Legolas. "Forgive me."

                "There is much you must forgive me for as well." Legolas answered. "But I have said it already; you thought it was best."

                "And what did you father say?" Aragorn asked.

                "He told me to keep heart. I am gladdened that he spoke with me. To see my home in a strange time was comforting." Legolas said. In his mind, he was running under the stars and branches found in Mirkwood. He sighed. "But it will return. It is intent on your deaths. It has told me so."

                Gimli was not completely shocked by the statement because it was said so plainly. Aragorn remained expressionless, waiting to hear the elf out.

                "I have made a decision." Legolas said haltingly. He took deep breaths wonderingly, feeling the air wash in and out of him. "And I hope you will… respect it and oblige me." Legolas felt his chest constrict suddenly, and his head was light. He searched for words as his heart pounded within him. "If I ever attempt to hurt you… or try to slay you… I want you to kill me first."

                Gimli was blank for a moment, and regained his wits quickly. "Absolutely not!" he said loudly. "I refuse to hear of this."

                "Gimli, you must understand. I was not able to control myself last night. I was trapped in a hell. I could never allow myself to kill friends, but under the voice, I have no choice. It is one way I can defeat it." Legolas replied, and he suddenly realized the impact of his words, and what he was trying to convince his friends to do. 

                "You are wrong." The dwarf's voice shook. "Dying is like giving up. And do you think we can live with your blood spilt by our hands?"

                  "I would not be able to live with your blood on my hands. I would kill myself if it happened. In then end, the same thing would be accomplished, except you are dead as well." Legolas said, and turned slowly to Aragorn, afraid of his reaction. 

                "I cannot agree to this." Aragorn stated slowly. He remembered the written pleas at Lothlorien and his cries from the previous night. "But I see what you are saying. You are immortal. It may haunt you for the rest of your life. You think it would be better to die. And you fear it may try to harm us."

                "Aragorn, how can you allow such madness?" Gimli demanded, but lowered his voice quickly after a nervous glance at the sleeping Boromir. 

                "I did not agree to it." Aragorn said. "I merely said that I understand what he is thinking. Legolas, would it not be better to fight it?"

                "I have tried, and failed!" Legolas cried in a high voice. "And the fighting does nothing but drain me! Look at me. Look at my eyes. I am still young, yet I am weary of living already!"

                "Legolas. You said your father told you to keep heart. This is an act of desperation. I will not allow it to happen in any circumstance." Gimli said firmly. "But I will keep faith in you, and I will continue to help you. I will not kill you, even if you try to kill me."

                "I… I must still make my decision. There is too much to think about, and it should not be hasty." Aragorn said finally.

                "You can't be serious!" Gimli shouted wildly. He grabbed Aragorn and shook him. "You are supposed to say no!"

                " Calm yourself. I have yet to decide. But if I were in Legolas' position, I would ask you to do the same." Aragorn said, and placed a hand on Legolas' back. "But as Gimli said, I will keep faith as well, and I will fight with you. My decision will be made if the time ever comes."

                "And I pray that it will never." Gimli muttered.

                Legolas nodded. "Thank you." He whispered, and had to be content with their replies. "The others are rising now. We should prepare to leave."

To be continued…

I've always liked to think that elves could communicate telekinetically, as long as they were experienced enough. I've just humoured myself with the Legolas and Thranduil meeting. You can ignore it completely if you didn't like it. Okay, eleven chapters and we're nearing… doo doo DOOO… the inevitable death of Boromir. And that will take a couple more chapters. I need to speed things up.

Anyways, last time I mentioned I wanted to start a new fic, but it won't be soon. I take a while to formulate ideas and events and stuff, and I don't want it to interfere with this fic. I liked the childhood idea with Elrohir and Elladen, and I think I'm going to go with it. Here's what I know about them, correct me if I'm wrong: They are the sons of Elrond, twins, with brown hair. They never travelled across the sea…. And um. They are Arwen's brother! I know pathetically little. If you do know more, I would be grateful for information.

Thanks to the reviewers who keep the fic going, without encouragement I would have let it die off. Here they are, in no particular order – MiriGreenleaf, Imaginator, merrylyn, Lel Vagor, Silent Angel, Raiden-sama, O.B.I.M., Erhothwen, RainyDayz/Azalea, Dream Keeper, Syslink, Houki, SiHansonWeasleyGamgee, Soulsearcher-Arbariel, Musicgrl, Imirie, Kwartziel, Cheysuli, Elven Fair, Skye, eveyen, Lady-Daine, goblz. 

MiriGreenleaf: You have me a bit confused. Do you mean that Aragorn could have had the dream as well?

Merrlyn: *running away shrieking* Gimli's underpants??? I don't want to think about it. But we can start discussing Legolas' underpants….

Erhothwen: Much thanks for the fic idea. It's now brewing in the depths of my brain….

RainyDayz: I liked do the Boromir thing. But I don't know, after I read it again, he seems OOC. Is he normally slow-witted?

Dreamkeeper: I was thinking of adding more Merry and Pippin… but Legolas would be incredibly mean to them. Because of the nasty voice. Which I have yet to reveal.  Which is revealed with the arrival of Gandalf. Which will take a bit more time. *sighs* There's so much to do!!! 

Soulsearcher-arbariel: Oh, good. I LOVE your fic. I agree, I don't like Boromir much either, but Faramir's alright. No worries, 'cause Boromir is nearing death!!! HAHAH!! Hm…. I need to act less psychotic sometimes.

Cheysuli: With my dim-witted, OOC Boromir, he did not see anything…. *hit with inspiration* He could see something before getting shot to death!!! *gasp* Must think hard on this.

Elven Fair : I don't write this with a specific depth to it… finding hidden meanings is kind of scary. But the whole Legolas abuse thing wouldn't work out because I have Thranduil as quite a good father in this fic. What's ironic is I'm analyzing poetry in English class, and I always feel were over-analyzing. I'll bet most poets don't think of deeper meaning, yet we find them.

Orli92003: *holds up the voice* Slap away!

Lady-Daine : Seems like a lot of people dislike Boromir. He was a bit of a fool. And I really liked your idea, although I've never tried AU before. Maybe I will…. I kinda like that sort of evil childhood friend thing. It sounds so dark and shivery…. I know I will eventually get to it, after this one, and maybe at the same time I'm writing the childhood one. Really appreciate the idea, thank you very much.

Goblz – The Aragorn OOC thing? I felt it too. But I didn't want to change it. Aragorn's human, he's bound to get really angry, Legolas touched on sore spots… big explosion. Once his anger cooled, he can forgive readily. That was my theory, if you don't agree with it, that's fine, I really don't mind all that much. And thanks for the reviews, I think this is the second one I received with bits of helpful criticism in it. Although I do prefer non-stop flattery. ^_^

Another chapter done…. another one to write! As usual, leave me an e-mail address if you want me to contact you with updates, although it's become unnecessary now because I always update on Wednesday. I guess it's for the direct link then, or a chapter that was done early and posted early.  

Until the next chapter!


	12. I hear orcs

Color of Distress

Disclaimer - I am deeply flattered by the few people that say I write like Tolkien. It's really something to be told you write like him, although I personally believe I'm a long way off. But even though some say I sound a bit like him, I am NOT him, and that makes Lord of the Rings not mine as well.

A/N – The first thing I want to say is "I AM REALLY SORRY!" I did not update this fic last Wednesday as I should have, but I was practically attending my own funeral. I caught the flu (and on the March Break, too.) and I could barely get out of bed. The day I did make it to the computer, I was writing an English essay on Catcher in the Rye. To top it off, I ached so much I didn't want to lift my arms to type. And I was so drugged up on Tylenol that even if I did manage to write more, it would have been about the really odd dreams I had about a dangerous fork and an electrical outlet and my pet turtle with Gimli's head. Well, I am feeling somewhat better. The only thing that will ever keep my from writing is my own death/near-death or a writer's block the size of Saskatchewan. So, if this ever happens again, heaven forbid, you know why. And I doubly apologize to those not on the mailing list because there was no way I could have let you  know. Wow. Longest note I've ever written. Anyway, back to the improving Leggy!

Chapter 12 – "I hear orcs."

                Legolas found he had a new respect for life. Knowing that a time might come where he might die made him appreciate everything more. He knew what it was like to be mortal. Legolas paddled their boat along the river with renewed vigor, and gloried in the sun that shone upon them.

                Gimli was deeply hurt of what was asked of him by Legolas, and was somewhat moody. Legolas seemed to have all but forgotten the conversation, and was chatting with him lightly, much to his annoyance.

                Gimli sat up at a long pause, and looked up at the elf. He sat tall, and his ears were up and alert, his blue eyes were intently scanning the shore.

                "What it is?" Gimli asked quietly, not wanting to interrupt Legolas' concentration.

                "I hear the footsteps of orcs." He whispered back, looking concerned. "They should not be out in the day."

                A glance at Aragorn confirmed it. The ranger had heard it as well, and he began to move the boat at a faster pace, one that Boromir and Legolas took up quickly.  They carried on at this speed for a while, and soon hear the faint sound of a waterfall.

                Aragorn called a halt and indicated that they should stop on the western side of the Anduin. Boromir followed quickly, but Legolas sat still, holding the paddle in his hands limply.

                "Legolas, shouldn't we go as well?" Gimli asked, tapping him on the shoulder. He was surprised to feel a tremor run through the elf.

                "We must not stop here." Legolas said, watching the trees on the shore fixatedly. "We must move on."

                "What do you mean?"

                Legolas had tried to shake off his foreboding all afternoon, but it did not lessen. His apprehension grew stronger instead, and he felt with certainty some misfortune would befall them if they stopped here. But he did not want to voice his concerns out loud. There was no need to worry Aragon and Gimli further, and they might think he was having another attack of the voice.

                Legolas shrugged lightly. "I did hear orcs earlier."

                "You had me worried." Gimli said. "At the pace orcs travel, they will not be able to catch up with us until dawn. Now, take me to the shore. I despise boats."

                Legolas glanced at the tree-clad hills of Amon Hen again, and began to paddle over.  _But these orcs traveled in daylight…_

__

                To his dismay, Merry and Pippin had taken pots and pans out and were beginning to cook, making it seem like they were to be here for a while. Legolas resisted the urge to throw water over the fire. He began pacing around the camp restlessly. He wanted to shake Gimli and Sam from their naps.

                "Take your rest, Legolas." Aragorn said from behind.

                Legolas turned around. "I require no rest." He said tartly, but lowered his voice and followed Aragon to his boat. "We cannot stay here."

                He raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

                "I feel that something will happen. It will not be good. We should leave now." Legolas said, looking straight at the man.

                "I – where's Frodo?" Aragorn demanded as he looked past Legolas.

                Sam rose immediately and searched for his friend, but shook his head in relief. "Oh, I remember. He went to collect some firewood." He settled back down comfortably.

                Aragorn walked off, frowning, having forgotten about Legolas. Legolas remained there looking off towards the river guiltily. He had forgotten that Aragorn was now leading the fellowship, and that he himself had been weighing Aragorn down with his own extra problems.

                He decided not to speak about it again, and to trust Aragorn that it would do no harm to rest in this place. Legolas looked up to find that Aragorn had disappeared, along with Frodo and Boromir. Casting a glance at the remaining members of the fellowship, he went deeper into the trees, not knowing why.

                There was a large outcropping with stairs carved into them, and he went to sit by them, whetting his knife in boredom. _Soon I will be in Mordor…where so many have died fighting already. My grandfather… so many other noble elves. Will I be among them? _

He stopped at looked down at his hands, were a drop of blood sat on his fingertip. Legolas remembered the incident at Lothlorien, what he wrote. The voice had controlled him then. Legolas was not sure if it were here now. He began to listen for it, but there was silence.

                Legolas reached out to a tree and wrote in his best script, and felt none of the terror he did on that night. _ Because it is not here… it does not control me._

 He felt a peaceful calm descend upon him, and he sat there watching the bark of the tree. A slight shudder ran through him, and his uneasiness returned in full force. Legolas stood up, put his knives away, and warily drew his bow and arrows. He had heard something approach, and the back of his neck prickled with warning..

                Legolas heard a faint and desperate muttering, and it grew louder. He turned around slowly and silently, keeping his bow up and tensed. As he saw the figure, he relaxed. "Boromir, were you not collecting firewood."

                The distraught man looked back at him, and it seemed liked he was trying to collect himself in vain. "Yes." Boromir said, shifting his eyes around. "Yes, I was. But the wood is wet. It must have rained recently."

                Legolas was puzzled. "I do not think it has rained here in days."

                "Well. That is … odd." Boromir said, shifting from one foot to the other. "Where is Aragorn? Is he at the camp?"

                "He went looking for Frodo." Legolas said, and suddenly remember the tree he had written on, still fresh with his blood. He became distinctly uncomfortable and moved slightly to block it from Boromir's view.

                 "Frodo." Boromir repeated, a strange look coming to his eyes.

                "I pity him." Legolas said. "I would not want to carry such a burden, and it is noble of him to."

                "Everyone says that."  Boromir said sourly. "If it were I, I would use it for a much nobler cause."

                Legolas humored him. "And what would that be?"

                "I would return to my home with it and protect my people."

                "I have heard that people with even the best intentions for the use of the ring have been lured by its power. How do you know it will not posses you?" Legolas asked. Boromir's current demeanor was bitter, and he found it intriguing.

                "How do you known it does not posses Frodo?" He said hotly. "No one understands, do they? Is it so wrong to want to protect my country? Why must such a powerful aid be thrown away? Without the ring, there is nothing powerful enough that I posses to at least keep evil from entering my doorstep, much less defeating it!"

                "It was created by evil. I assure you, it will do no good. It must be destroyed." Legolas said. "Although I understand. The lands east of this river holds my home, and a necromancer once had settled close to it. My kind had nothing to do with him, and we did not concern ourselves with doings each other. But unease grew, and it was discovered that this necromancer was Sauron himself."

                "Then you agree with me. You would use this ring to force him out." Boromir said eagerly.

                Legolas shook his head. "You misunderstand. I merely said that I know why you would use it to protect your people. I will follow Frodo to the heart of Mount Doom, and I will watch him destroy it."

                Boromir gave a growl of frustration and shoved past him. He hit a tree with a rounded fist until leaves began to fall. "Damn this fellowship!" he cried. "What use is it if we do not support each other?"

                "We swore to support and accompany Frodo." Legolas said stonily. "Not to take the ring from him and use it for our own purposes." He felt disgusted with Boromir. "I am going back to the camp."

                "I shall see you there, then." Boromir replied listlessly. "What's this?" His head was leaning on the same tree Legolas wrote on, and he was staring right at the crimson words. "It's elvish, isn't it?" Boromir's eyes were accusing and they bored into Legolas.

                Legolas felt his body run cold. To have Aragorn and Gimli know was fine, but to have this boorish man find out was disgraceful. His alarm did not last long, however, as he heard a new sounds that gave him more to worry about. A glance to Boromir confirmed that the man did not hear it yet, and although Legolas did not trust him any longer, he felt obliged to tell him.

                "I hear orcs approaching." Legolas stated. "Go back and warn the hobbits!"  He picked up his bow and arrow that he had laid to the side and ran in the directions of the pounding footsteps.

                The sun filtered through the canopy of leaves, and Legolas began vaguely thinking how pleasant running there could have been in different circumstances. He stopped when he heard footsteps coming from his right. Legolas immediately stood ready with an arrow nocked, standing slightly to the side of a tree. 

                There was a mighty shout. "Come here, you dirty orc, and I'll show you - " Gimli's axe was in full swing and struck the trunk of the tree which Legolas was standing behind.

                "I am no orc, and I believe I'm a lot cleaner than one." Legolas said, and placed his arrow back into the quiver.

                "I apologize." Gimli said, and raised his head. "I hear orcs, so I hurried out."

                "You can hear them? I was always told that dwarves were quite deaf." Legolas said, biting back a grin. 

                Gimli scowled. "Well, some of us are close to it. But not me." He thumped his axe impatiently. "My axe has been waiting for orc, and it has not seen any since Moria. Let us hurry."

                Legolas shrugged, and followed after him. He decided to tease Gimli more and easily overtook him. "Perhaps you are getting old," Legolas called to him. "If you cannot keep up with me."

                "I am more of a sprinter." Gimli retorted, and began to go up a slight hill after Legolas. "Long distances are a bit more taxing. But I notice you wear no armor, and carry naught but your bow. You should try running with the extra weight."

                "I have no need for armor." Legolas replied, and took out an arrow. "You'll see. I will not let the orcs come close." Without waiting for Gimli's reply, he jogged around the large stone they stood by, and shot the first orc he saw. Gimli followed him in not a moment later.

                Aragorn was already there, quickly killing several orcs with wide sweeps of his sword. Gimli was fighting fiercely, and delivered many heavy blows with the axe. 

                _How is Aragorn here already?_

Legolas reached for another arrow in a motion that had become habit and let it fly into the next orc. It screamed and fell over. The next orc tripped over its body and fell. Legolas took out another arrow and shot it.

                _I must remember that he can hear nearly as well as any elf. _

Legolas grasped a new arrow and quickly aimed at the next one. It stuck the orc square on it's chest and it collapsed without even a shriek.

                _Perhaps I should grant them all deaths like that. It seems painless enough._

He turned around quickly and shot an orc behind him, and turned back around without so much as a blink. Legolas fitted his next arrow in and shot again.

                _Well, enemies do not show mercy._

Legolas reached for his next arrow and touched air. He had run out, but he quickly kept the bow and took out his white knives. He easily avoided their attacks without effort, and pierced both in the back once. He briefly looked at Gimli, who was slashing madly in the middle of orcs.

                _And that is one of the differences between us. An orc has yet to touch me in battle, while Gimli willingly jumps into their midst. I would not want these corrupted ones to touch me. _

                Legolas felt himself pity the orc that was running towards him. To be created as such a creature, hated, feared, and treated horribly. To be trained to hate men and elves alike. But Legolas shook himself out of his thoughts, because pity or not, the orc had every intention of killing him. Legolas stepped to the side to avoid its attack, and thrust his knife into its side.

                 All motion suddenly ceased. Legolas, Aragorn, and Gimli stood still, as did the orcs. They stood for a moment listening to a deep, resonating horn that was blown numerous times. A ripple of muttering went through the orcs and half of them began running in the direction from which Legolas and Gimli came.

                "The Horn of Gondor." Legolas said suddenly, once he realized what it was. It was blown again, and he looked to Aragorn and Gimli.

                "I'll go to Boromir." Aragorn said, and began running with his sword out.

                "Why did Boromir call for help?" Legolas shouted to Gimli as they resumed their fights. "Did these foul goblins reach them already?" 

                Gimli grunted, hacked at two orcs, and wiped his brow. "Maybe. But there cannot be that many. He is overreacting." Gimli returned to his hacking.

                Legolas pulled his knives from his last kill. "I hope so." 

                _The orcs are not the source of my misgivings, for I feel it still. Aragorn should have listened. We should have already left. _

_                What will happen?_

To be continued…

Alrighty then, big thanks to the great and wonderful and mighty reviewers! I thank you must gratefully for the feedback. I'll start by acknowledging those I do not write full sentences to below because I'm horrible and a lazy and still semi-drugged up on medicine because my mother insists that I haven't fully recovered yet: Lirenel, Musicgrl, Silent Angel, Judy, Valerie, Lel Vagot , Houki, Imaginator, Imirie, somethinginthebasement, Jada's Angel, Sagaxus, WJO, orli92003.

**Cheysuli** – Whoops. I'm guessing I wrote that at the onset of my flu, so maybe I wasn't in my right mind.  Anyhoo, thanks for link, it helped tons.

**Merrylyn** – I have given no thought to the ending, and I barely ever give thought to the way the next chapter will turn out, unless there is something huge that has to be there. This is my very first Lord of the Rings fic, and it was more of an experiment than anything. I start a new chapter everything Thursday, and I just start writing whatever comes to mind. A bad habit, or so says my evil English teacher. Nest fic will have much planning, though.

**Erhothwen** – Thanks for the link, although…oops. It didn't work! 

**Mirigreenlea**f – Don't apologize to me about confusing me, because I'm confused nearly half the time. Oh, and I really hope your friends are still alive. ^_^

**Lady-Dain**e – Yeah! Nasty voice should to chem. homework for us all! But it would probably sit at the table and hiss "Stupid textbook… you can't even answer your own questions." I think… no… I'm pretty sure I've been using a Sindarin dictionary, so that would make the elvish I use Sindarin as well.

**RainyDayz** – Did you see that part when they were travelling on the river, and Boromir and Aragorn got into a bit of an argument. I howled when I saw Boromir's expression the next morning. He looked like he was going to cry! I had to pause the DVD because it was so amusing.

**Soulseracher - Arbariel **– Unfortunately, I'm not letting myself read ROTK, so all I known about Faramir is from the Two Towers. Maybe he will annoy me, but just not yet. I applaud you for figuring out that Legolas would ask that. I didn't know I was going to add that in until I came to the part when he woke up. You know officially know this fic better than me! ^_^

**Dream Keeper** – I only vaguely knew two weeks ago what the voice was, and admittedly, it would probably have been one of the two. Now that you've brought it up, I'm furiously trying to rethink it. The revelation was supposed to come with the arrival of Gandalf, and I'm sure I can still manage it, but holy cow, I need to get thinking. As for writing when I'm done school… I considered it, but it's not possible. I'm in the eleventh grade, and it's too late for me to take more literature and writing courses because I'm already on a full timetable. So I'm only taking the one English class. I'm lined up to go take sciences and veterinary medicine in University, although writing could be a back up sort of thing. *sigh* This is stressful, and the guidance counsellors never stop hounding me. Okay, happy thoughts, none of this plan my future stuff! 

Wow. I never noticed how writing back to some reviews is like therapy. It's really nice, and every Tuesday, when I sit down and write these, I have fun. Anyways, we're all still checking on Wednesdays unless I recover from this round of the flu only to catch pneumonia and die. I still can't get over the fact I had the flu on the March Break. That really made me mad.


	13. Gone

Color of Distress

Disclaimer – Lord of the Rings and anything in it does not belong to me. The end.

Chapter 13 – "Gone"

                Gimli paused in his fight long enough to notice that Legolas was exchange blows almost distractedly, like he was lost in deep thoughts. He personally put every bit of concentration he had into fighting, and resolved to tease Legolas about it if he was injured. But only if the elf had a minor injury would it still be fair to make fun of him. 

                Gimli, from the corner of his eye, saw an orc swing at him, and was once again completely engrossed in his battles and promptly forgot his hurried thoughts about his friend. 

                There was a loud ripping noise, and Gimli turned his head to see Legolas slashing through the back of an orc's amour with both of his knives.  Gimli whistled in appreciation, and marveled that he really knew so little about Legolas. For instance, he could be so brutal and unmerciful when it was the elf's nature to normally be so gentle and kind.

                Legolas took a slight step back to avoid the splatter of blood from the orc, and lunged again at a second one, searching it's dull eyes briefly before thrusting the knife through him. Legolas remembered once where he could not bring himself to hurt or kill the smallest creature, but now, it was like his father once had told him. It was his duty to be a prince and a warrior, and like it or not, his heart would eventually harden towards the bloodshed and death.

                _But he never said I would become this indifferent to it. But did I to feel pity towards one not ten minutes ago? What has changed in ten minutes?_

Legolas, tiring of his knives, snatched up some arrows from the bodies of orcs and began firing them again in succession, carefully making sure Gimli was not being overwhelmed in the midst of the orcs he now fought.

                _Nothing has changed. I was fighting then, and I am still fighting now. But something has changed. Why do I not care that these lives are being wasted? _

Legolas took his last arrow and aimed it at an orc running towards Gimli from behind, one that he had not yet noticed. He loosened the arrow and it sang as it flew into the side of the orcs neck. It dropped abruptly, and Gimli was none the wiser.

                _You must think that orcs do not matter._

He took out his knives again, and threw one far that stuck another orc. Legolas looked around. None remained, and Gimli finished his last one as well. Legolas removed his knife from the orc and wiped it clean on the grass before sheathing it.

                "Exhilarating, isn't it?" Gimli snorted. "I thought they would just keep coming." He nudged a body out of his way with the tip of his boot.                       

                Legolas bent over to pull an arrow from another body, and placed it in his quiver. He repeated this several times until his quiver was full again. "Does it matter?"

                "Does what matter?" Gimli said distractedly as they began to move back towards the camp.

                "These lives. There must have been close to fifty orcs here, and we slew them all. But they were living creatures, too, like us. Did their lives really matter so little that the two of us could dispose of them like that?" Legolas said, looking intently ahead.

                "They mattered not at all to Saruman." Gimli replied. "All the same, did the lives of the dwarves in Moria mean anything to orcs there? Obviously not."

                "I think…" Legolas faltered, feeling a bit embarrassed. His idea was childish until the point of naiveté, and he was sure that Gimli would roar with laughter after hearing it. "I think that the orcs could have been a race on middle earth. Well, they are a race, but one not so reviled by the others. Perhaps… if they were not bred to destroy and hate everything, they might have lived alongside us just as any other race does now. They might have been able to live normally, have cities and customs just like we do. Do you think me foolish? For I think the lives of the orcs should matter."

                "I think you are drunk to think like that." Gimli said, biting back a grin because he knew that Legolas was at least half serious about his speech. "And I also think you are completely mad."

                "Well, you are probably justified in saying that. I do not know why this troubled me so. But we are not yet in a war, and in war, I do not think it would matter so much to me, whether an orc is dead or not." Legolas said, smiling slightly. But something was troubling him beyond their conversation and his ill-feeling which he had told Aragorn of. There was something more, something nagging at him in a corner of his mind.

                Legolas thought back, and tried to remember what he was thinking about while he fought the orcs, until it struck him like a clap of thunder.

                _You must think that orcs do not matter._

It had addressed him. He did not think it. It was spoken to him. And he hadn't noticed it in the heat of the fight.

                Legolas slowed down his brisk walking pace until he stopped completely. Tremors ran through him, and he broke out in a cold sweat. He knew the voice had not yet been completely defeated, yet he was utterly unprepared for its return, and was recovering from his last encounter with it.

                "Legolas?" Gimli stopped next to him. "Why are we halting?"

                He was afraid, yet Thranduil told him to be brave. It was not yet menacing, and made only a plain statement. And so far, it has made only one statement. Still…

                "Legolas." Gimli reached up and patted the elf's arm, waiting for a reaction. 

                The elf stirred from his frozen state and stared down at Gimli, then squeezing his eyes shut, and opening them again. "It came back." He said leadenly, and from Gimli's expression, he understood immediately. 

                Gimli now stood silently, thinking hard. "We cannot let this voice carry on a conversation to you. Especially not now." He said firmly. "There are orcs we have not yet slain probably off fighting with Boromir and Aragorn and the hobbits, and we should be hurrying there. We will have none of this voice nonsense. Here, lean down, Legolas, I will help you."

                Legolas had no idea what Gimli was doing, but obediently leaned down for him. Gimli began loudly shouting into his ear. Legolas tried jerking away, but Gimli clamped down on his shoulders and hollered merrily away.

"Hey, hey! Villainous voice, hear me!" he said pompously. " I am Gimli, son of Gloin, and friend to Legolas of Mirkwood, whose head you now inhabit. Stop your rude and untimely conversation with Legolas, because he's a busy elf and has much more to do than listen to your foolish words all day. So stay silent!"

                Legolas finally got away and held a hand to his ear. "I was not deaf before," he muttered, rubbing his ear. "But I am now." Yet he smiled at Gimli and they began jogging in the direction of their camp. 

                Legolas was grateful to Gimli, whose humorous antics made him feel less worried about the voice. And he knew the less he thought about it, the less it would trouble him, and the less chance it would make him do something harmful again. Being light-hearted and merry also made him worry less, but Legolas was always conscience of the fact it did not diminish the voice's dangerous persuasion. 

                But as his worry about the voice lessened, his nameless apprehension began to grow. And as they approached the first dead orc strewn along the path, his apprehension peaked. Something was terribly wrong, and a heavy silence hung in the air.

                Legolas began to run ahead of Gimli, unconsciously taking out his bow and an arrow. He passed by a gruesome sight, an orc, much larger and fouler looking than the rest, lay dismembered, it's blood seeping into the roots of the tree where it lay. The sound of quiet words being exchanged reached his ears, and his own quick breathing now punctuated the silence. Legolas slowed down and began walking slowly towards Aragorn's voice, fearing what awaited him.          

                He moved past a tree, and another one, his anxiety growing as he did, and was first blinded by sunlight before he saw what was before him. Legolas blinked and looked down.

                Several orc arrows protruded from Boromir's clothing, and he lay on the grass, grey as death, struggling for breath as he spoke hoarsely with Aragorn. Legolas very much wanted to look away, repelled by the scene, yet was perversely drawn to watch it.

                _Boromir is dying._

_                Boromir will be dead._

_                He will not be there with us tomorrow in Mordor._

_                The dead cannot travel._

_                We should have already left._

                He heard Gimli come up and stand a bit behind him. Legolas turned around briefly and cast Gimli a somber look, but his voice was cracked and disbelieving. 

                "He is dying." Legolas whispered, and his eyes mirrored Gimli's shock and pain. "Gone."

                He watched as the two men continued to talk solemnly for a while more, until Boromir lay silent. Aragorn closed his eyes and bowed his head, and placed his hand on Boromir's head in parting. Then he stood, appearing to be dazed, but shook it off.

                Then the three stood, looking round at each other mutely, feeling tears prickle at their eyes. Confusion, sadness, and a lingering disbelief still lined their faces heavily, but no one wept.

                Gimli, clearing his throat, broke the quiet. "Where are the hobbits?" he asked gruffly.

                "Merry and Pippin have been captured by the uruk-hai." Aragorn replied, reverting back to his usual, business-like tone of voice. "Sam and Frodo…"

                Legolas looked past him and saw the bushes on the far side of the Anduin rustle, yet there was no wind. "They have reached the eastern shore." He looked back at them. "We still can catch up."

                "No. Frodo has decided to go alone, and we will respect that." Aragorn said. "But there is more we must do now. Merry and Pippin will not suffer long under the harsh tempers of the orcs, will they?"

                "And Boromir?" Gimli managed to voice was Legolas could not.

                "There is no time for us to dig a grave, nor build a pyre for a large fire." Aragorn said, staring out at the Anduin. "We'll place him in a boat and let the river take him over the falls." He said finally.

                The three gently lifted his body into the canoe, where Legolas carefully removed the offending arrows. They removed the leaves from his hair, washed the dirt from his face, and placed his sword, shield and horn into the canoe with him. They then pushed the canoe out towards the thundering waterfall, and stood as they watched it travel towards the edge. 

                _The fellowship has progressed from nine to eight, and now has broken into several  pieces. I can only wish that the three of us will remain true._

Aragorn lifted his eyes to the falls of Rauros, and began to sing in a low voice.

_"Through Rohan over fen and field where the long grass  
grows  
The West Wind comes walking, and about the walls it  
goes.  
'What news from the West, O wandering wind, do you  
bring to me tonight?  
Have you seen Boromir the Tall by moon or by starlight?'  
'I saw him ride over seven streams, over waters wide  
and grey;  
I saw him walk in empty lands, until he passed away  
Into the shadows of the North. I saw him then no more.  
The North Wind may have heard the horn of the son of  
Denethor.'  
'O Boromir! From the high walls westward I looked  
afar,  
But you came not from the empty lands where no men  
are."_

                Aragorn sang the lines with a steady voice, yet one that became heavier with grief after each word. And now Legolas began to sing as well, gazing out at the river.

_"From the mouths of the Sea the South Wind flies, from  
the sandhills and the stones;  
The wailing of the gulls it bears, and at the gate it  
moans.  
'What news from the South, O sighing wind, do you bring  
to me at eve?  
Where now is Boromir the Fair? He tarries and I grieve.'  
'Ask not of me where he doth dwell -- so many bones  
there lie  
On the white shores and the dark shores under the  
stormy sky;  
So many have passed down Anduin to find the flowing  
Sea.  
Ask of the North Wind news of them the North Wind  
sends to me!'  
'O Boromir! Beyond the gate the seaward road runs  
south,  
But you came not with the ailing gulls from the grey  
sea's mouth."_

His clear voice rang about them, but his tone was melancholy. Legolas had felt nothing but suspicion for Boromir in his last hours, and now he wished that he hadn't. Aragorn began the song again.

_"From the Gate of Kings the North Wind rides, and past  
the roaring falls;  
And clear and cold about the tower its loud horn calls.  
'What news from the North, O mighty wind, do you  
bring to me today?  
What news of Boromir the Bold? For he is long away.'  
'Beneath Amon Hen I heard his cry. There many foes he  
fought.  
His cloven shield, his broken sword, they do the water  
brought.  
His head so proud, his face so fair, his limbs they laid  
to rest;  
And Rauros, golden Rauros-falls, bore him upon its  
breast.'  
'O Boromir! The Tower of Guard shall ever northward  
gaze  
To Rauros, golden Rauros-falls, until the end of days."_

Aragorn and Legolas looked together towards Gimli expectantly, waiting for him to begin. Gimli shook his head and coughed loudly for a moment.

"I will not sing of the east wind." Gimli said distantly. "I mourn for Boromir, but I will not sing."

Not finding the energy to argue with him, they accepted this with a nod. And, as if the funeral had never happened, the three began packing up, preparing to quickly leave in search of Merry and Pippin.

To be continued…

Well, there you have it. Boromir is gone, they felt sad, gave him a nice funeral, and are about to run a huge marathon. I hadn't dwelled much on their reactions to Boromir's death, but it's something that will come, I think, next week. And I've realized I hadn't acknowledged Boromir's funeral song. _But the three verses above are entirely the works of JRR Tolkien, and are not mine._ I kind of wish they sang this in the movie, and even though I didn't like Boromir much, it was touching to realize how much care they took with his funeral. Alright, so Legolas and Gimli didn't interact all that much with Boromir, but he was still part of the fellowship, and I suppose they had their moments. I feel sad. Poor Boromir. Poor Legolas. Poor everyone. 

Thanks to the nice people called "the people who so kindly review because they are good and righteous people." You now all have an official title. Thanks to: Wandering-Ranger, Imirie , Merrylyn, WJO, Houki, Musicgrl, Purple, legolasffreeeek, Silent Angel, MiriGreenleaf, Andravix,  and Casssandra

Soulsearcher-Abariel – He is so completely jealous. Just because Boromir has to be sweaty and dirty and beardly and dead doesn't mean he has to be jealous of Legolas who is not sweaty, gorgeous, clean-shaven, and immortal. 

Erhothwen – He looked liked a lost little kid in that scene you're talking about. But as much as I dislike him, I think he redeemed himself in the end, although the nasty uruk-hais got Merry and Pippin anyway.

Somethingsinthebasement – I had a heck of a time typing out your name. I kept putting spaces between the words and … well, pretty dumb of me. Anyways. Boromir DID suspect, but Boromir never got to confirm his suspicions. Oh well, he can't have it all.

Dream Keeper - *continuing the million thank yous* Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you. Wow. Not bad, considering I didn't cut and paste. You've been awesome with all the help! Thank you! 

Lady-Daine – I can't imagine how my physics teacher will react if a voice starting taunting the textbook. I'd bet he'd calculate the frequency and wavelength of the voice and make a lesson out of it. *shudders* I won't think about physics anymore. I just had a test, and…. Errghhh…. And as for the Catcher in the Rye… well, to each his own. I couldn't stand reading that book. Too many "phonies" and "damns" in it. ^_^

Torture_the_elf – I can't kill Legolas off!! It would go against every fibre in my person to kill him off. I couldn't. I wouldn't be able to write the words. Anyhoo, I don't have any other fics, but I am thinking of starting another soon. 

Well, that's Chapter 13. Until the next chapter, then!


	14. Look to me

Color of Distress

Disclaimer – Lord of the Rings, and the bit of the elvish hymn I used, and Aragorn and Boromir and Merry and Pippin and Frodo and Sam and Legolas and Gimli and any other person I mention or use in this story belongs to JRR Tolkien. I suppose that means the voice is mine. But I don't really want it.

A/N – This chapter nearly didn't get through for Wednesday. I was so stumped as how to get through this running period for them, so I decided do it in weird clumps of time. As to whether the three stopped for breaks and food and what not (because I distinctly remember Gimli complaining about the lack of breaks they had in the movie), for the purposes of this fic, they stopped to sleep. Sorry for the crappiness and repetitiveness of Chapter 14, I honestly had major problems getting through this one.

Chapter 14 – "Look to me."

Instead of turning east into Mordor, like they originally should have done, they turned west, in the direction of Rohan, following the orcs that had carried away Merry and Pippin, presumably to Isengard. As the sun began to set, and the night began to rise, the uruks showed no signs of stopping.

Aragorn stopped and rubbed his tired arms wearily, while Gimli fell to the ground next to him, trying to catch his breath. Legolas turned around to look at them briefly, and turning back to watch the writhing, running black mass of the orcs.

"The distance between us grows further with every minute." Legolas said, but went to stand by his friends while they recovered.

"We cannot go on like this." Gimli said, looking up. "We must rest sometime, and so must those cursed orcs."

Aragorn shook his head. "They do not look like they will stop for an army of a thousand men. What do you think, Legolas? You are not yet weary. Shall we continue after them?"

Legolas urgently wanted to keep running, but he did not want to force them into something they could not do if they were exhausted. Nor did he want to split up and go after the orcs alone, mostly because he was afraid the voice would return without Aragorn or Gimli by his side. His head began to ache with the effort of this decision. What good could possibly come of having Aragorn and Gimli dropping from exhaustion? But then, what of Merry and Pippin?

He looked into both of their faces, and looked down again as a selfish thought entered his mind. Even if… even if they rested during the night and let the uruks make a greater distance, Aragorn and Gimli would still be there and well, even if Merry and Pippin were further. But if he pushed his friends, and they were to be injured or sicken and possibly die, he would still be no closer to the hobbits in the end. Legolas felt sick from his thoughts and perched on a rock, his head spinning.

"Legolas, what do you think?" Aragorn repeated, taking a drink of water.

Legolas struggled for a moment. "I will have no part in this decision." He said finally. "I will be agreeable whether we rest or continue, so it should not be my choice."

"Then we'll stay." Gimli said quickly. "I tell you, the orcs must rest as well."          

                Aragorn shrugged. "Then we will rest." The man and dwarf began laying their blankets and fell tiredly on them, falling quickly into the sound sleep of the fatigued.

                Legolas climbed to his feet and stood on the rock, staring far into the distance. He would watch the orcs progress, track their direction, estimate their distance, and watch over Aragorn and Gimli while they slept.

                But he could not concentrate. He had managed to put it out of his mind thus far, but with little to occupy his mind, the images of Amon Hen kept returning. And he turned towards the inevitable question that stood lurking in the back of his mind.

                _Could I have prevented Boromir's death?_

There he stood the rest of the night, half his mind working on his self-appointed task of guarding and tracking, while the other half was sunk in melancholy thoughts. 

                _If I had not stopped because of the voice…I might have shot an arrow at the orc who shot Boromir. I would have saved his life. And perhaps Merry and Pippin would not be in the hands of Sauruman's orcs. If only I had run faster, slew the orcs with Gimli faster, went with Aragorn after Boromir's call for help…_

Legolas took out from his cloak a fragment of an arrow shaft, part of an arrow he had removed from Boromir, and fingered the feathered end.

                _Orc arrows are carelessly made; sometimes dull at the point, made with poor ore while the shafts can barely be touched without getting a splinter. It would not be a quick and painless death if someone were shot with this. The orcs I hunted died a better death than Boromir, who might have deserved a better end. _

He threw the remnant aside in frustration, trying to stifle his grief at the second loss of the fellowship. Aragorn remained passive; he looked and acted like he always did. Gimli was probably not even affected much, having never been close to Boromir anyway. Neither had Legolas, but the sense of comradeship he had shared with Boromir in Moria was not forgotten. 

                Now Legolas turned to watch the stars, listening to their faint crystal chime. As he began to relax his tense muscles, he buried the thoughts of Boromir's death deep within him. Just as he put his grief for Gandalf aside in favor of what he had to do, he placed his sadness for Boromir aside. He had concluded from all his thoughts that working for the living was more important than remembering the dead.

                Legolas felt himself slip into a state of serenity and rest, and this was how Aragorn and Gimli found him when they awoke at sunrise. 

                "Legolas, have you rested at all?" Aragorn called softly. 

                The elf's eyes began to focus and he started slightly. "Of course I have." He replied, and went over to Gimli's pack and began digging through it. "I can sleep while we run, if I do indeed tire."

                Gimli yawned widely. "What are you doing?"

                Legolas held up lembas, still wrapped in mallorn leaves. "We will eat first, of course." He unwrapped a leaf and broke a small piece of the lembas, and handed the rest to Aragorn, who did the same.

                Gimli took his share, grumbling all the while. "It does fill you up, true, but nothing compares to a hearty meal full of meat."

                Aragorn rose to his feet and began checking his sword. "How far have the orcs gone this night?"

                "Have they rested at all?" Gimli interrupted, shouldering his bag and lifting his axe.

                Legolas shook his head. "They have gone further then I have expected, though I did not see fit to wake you. We will go a long way before we meet them, if they do not reach Isengard first, but I remain hopeful. If we can keep our speed, I believe we will reach them soon"

                "Then we will try to catch them." Aragorn said finally. "And if we do not stop until nightfall again, so be it." And he set off, with Legolas close behind him and Gimli trailing.

                They spoke little throughout the day, conserving energy and focusing their thoughts on reaching the orcs. They now appeared to be only faint lines in the distance, a testament to the orcs' unnatural speed.

                Aragorn did not speak of his growing despair, but kept the pace, pausing occasionally to glance back at Legolas and Gimli.

                With no one to talk to, and lacking the heart to sing as he ran, Legolas' unwilling mind began to wander, and with his empty thoughts came others that were not his own.

                _Which of your friends will you kill next? Aragorn or Gimli?_

Legolas was almost accustomed to it's cruel assault now, and not being shocked of it's return because he expected it since they left Amon Hen, he answered almost stolidly.

                _Neither. I watch them while they sleep, and I protect them from harm._

_                Are you truly capable of protecting them from yourself?_

Legolas stared into Aragorn's back, ignoring its question. It was repeated, louder and angrier, and still Legolas refused to reply.

                _Answer me!_

_                I would have them kill me first._

_                We shall see._

Those three words were uttered with such malice that Legolas ran cold. And he remembered the times when he would try to defy the voice, and it would smugly say those words in reply, then exert it's influence on him. Legolas said nothing, both to voice and Aragorn and Gimli. If catching the orcs were more important than mourning for Boromir, then it was also more important than dealing with the voice. Aragorn seemed justifiably distracted, while Gimli was having trouble breathing and keeping up with them.

                But Legolas struggled with this decision. He did say that Aragorn and Gimli would know if the voice returned and meant harm, but under the circumstances… would it be fine to burden his friends more?

                _Your friends cannot help you this time… you already see how preoccupied they are with the mess you have caused…_

_                I did not cause anything. Boromir's death was caused by the orcs._

_                Well, it is like you have said. If you had run faster, perhaps shot that orc, he would have been alive. Then Boromir would have been able to protect those hobbits. And you wouldn't be running over all Middle Earth to save them._

Legolas' determined composure began to waver, and he felt himself slipping back into fear. He took a shuddering breath to clear his head, but felt like he was drowning instead. 

                _You certainly have a way of killing off your friends._

His vision blurred and cleared again, and Legolas clenched his fists as he ran, and if Gimli was not so concentrated on his running, he might have noticed that Legolas' steps turned heavy and haphazard.  He caught himself from tripping over a loose stone, something he had never done before.

                _Without Thranduil here, you are once again are a helpless child, unable to protect yourself from just a little whisper._

_                Whispers do not seek to control you._

                At sundown Aragorn called a halt, and they were silent as they ate the way bread. Once they finished eating, Aragorn and Gimli immediately fell to the ground exhaustedly and slept. Legolas went to sit a little way off at a higher point, although they had already lost sight of the orcs.

                As night fell, the air turned colder, and the light breeze present throughout the day became a biting wind. Legolas noted this, and although it didn't affect him, he went back to Aragorn and Gimli and tucked their blankets tighter around them.  

The voice was nagged at him incessantly, asking him to do shameful things. Legolas repeatedly sang to himself throughout the day an elvish hymn he heard while at Rivendell to drown the voice out, and now he sang it out loud because he was alone. It was but a verse to Elbereth, but Legolas repeated it like a prayer.

_A Elbereth Gilthoniel…,_

_I will not leave you because of a foolish song._

_silivren penna míriel…_

_Do not think to drown me out._

_o menel aglar elenath!_

_I am an inseparable part of you._

_Na-chaered palan-díriel_

_What would Aragorn think if he were to wake now, and see you repeating a song over again for the hundredth time?_

_o galadhremmin ennorath,  
I'm sure Gimli would think you insane._

_Fanuilos, le linnathon_

_Listen to me! You will listen to me.  
nef aear, si nef aearon!_

                 _Legolas…listen to the wind…hear what it says…_

The voice became oddly gentle with its last words. Legolas, in his shaky state, attached himself to this sound of kindness without hesitation, and stopped singing to listen to the wind.

                It laughed in delight and ruthlessness. Legolas clapped his hands over his ears from the terrible sound, shaking. "You cannot take the wind!" he cried. "You cannot take it! You will not take me!"

                _I shall do as I please. And I did not take the wind, that is beyond me. But it was a nice ruse, was it not? You stopped your absurd song._

                "Gimli…" Legolas whispered, blinded by fear, unable to at least look over at his sleeping friends. "Where are you to lighten my worries now? Gimli…"

                It seemed like he was screaming, but his voice was so low he could barely hear himself mutter, not knowing to whom he called out to.

                "_Tiro nin! " (Look towards me!)_

To be continued….

I am so hungry and tired and bogged down with work I won't even bother trying to be cheerful right now, nor will I write anything in this nice white space where I normally write things. If you want, you can imagine that the big empty space is full of my ramblings. Oh my gosh. Since when am I this cynical??

Okay. Thanks to all reviewers, don't be offended if I don't address all of you individually, really, I would love to, but I seriously am stressed to the point of breaking. Jeez, listen to me, I'm turning into a nutcase. *sighs* Forgive me if I'm overly sadistic or downright nasty, it's the physics lab in waiting that's talking. Thanks to – Skye, Musicgrl, Firestar, NiennaVala, RainyDayz, Amy Jonas, Purple, reginabean, Viraten, Stary Night.

Torture_the_elf: Well, since I'm not killing Legolas off, it means I only really really like him. ^_^

Merrylyn: I am completely confused about Boromir now. When I first saw the movie, I really disliked him. Then I researched a bit about his death-song and his funeral, and it amazed me to find out how much care Aragorn, Gimli, and Legolas took with his funeral, like they really did like and respect Boromir. Hm.

Beautifully Twisted – Wow… my story and character portrayal has been analyzed. Much thanks!

Erhothwen :The way I got over my denial of Haldir's supposed death in TTT was this: Someone important and already known has to die in every movie. *shakes head* I am so out of it. Ignore everything I've just said.

Soulsearcher-Arbariel: When I read FOTR and the most of TTT, I was struck by just that. (Legolas' innocence) You can't really see it in the movie, Orli makes Legolas so suave, but Legolas in the book was so completely inquisitive and playful and pure and… there is a word that completely describes Legolas all-in-one, but I can't think of it right now. But yes, you are COMPLETELY right. And dogs can totally look like Legolas. For instance, my neighbor has a Chow Chow… and….well, it's got pointy ears too. 

Lady J – I am completely a sadist. Well, not completely. Just a little. ^_^

Leggolassss crazed: Er… I don't want to kill Legolas. ^_^ This is the second suggestion of it, but no, I don't want to kill him at all. 

Cheysuli – My father absolutely despises Windows XP and refuses to ditch Windows 2000 for it. Oh well. But if Windows XP screws up FF.Net, or FF.Net doesn't work as well on Windows XP… *hugs windows 2000 tightly*

Lady-Daine: Arghh… AP exams. My teachers talk about nothing but those AP exams.  Oooh, and I'll totally join NSFWBCTOL!!!

Well, that's it until next Wednesday. Hopefully I'm alive next Wednesday. If I make it past several tests, labs, and assignments, and a debate. *begins sobbing* Why am I in school???? Oh right. It's the stupid governments fault. 


	15. These are strange times

Color of Distress

Disclaimer: Lord of the Rings, it's characters, places, events, etc. does not belong to me in any way, and this fic has been written for my own entertainment purposes, and for the entertainment of those who chose to read it. 

Chapter 15 -  "These are strange times…"

Gimli sighed contentedly and wrapped his cloak tighter around himself, muttering incoherently. He rolled onto his side, still half-dreaming about roast meat and warm fires. Gimli scratched the side of his neck and shifted his weight to a more comfortable position. He heard a light swish and the sound of something hit the ground next to his head. Gimli was up immediately, and next to him was one of Legolas' arrows. He snatched it from the ground and stared at it, confused.

                "Have you suddenly lost your mind and decided that I was an orc?" Gimli called to Legolas, who was standing far out.

                "Wake Aragorn. It is time we moved on." Legolas replied without turning around.

                "Normal people do not wake their friends up by trying to kill them." Gimli said, looking forward to banter with Legolas.

                "I would like my arrow back when you are finished." 

                "Ah. Very well." Gimli figured that Legolas was just cranky from a lack of sleep, and went to wake Aragorn. 

"Legolas tells it is time to move on." He said while he shook Aragorn awake. "And he's not in a very good mood today, either." Gimli added as an afterthought.

                Aragorn grunted. "I don't blame him." He rubbed his eyes and stood up to begin packing his things.    

                Gimli brought the arrow to Legolas, who placed it into his quiver without a word. "The orcs are now completely out of sight." He said finally, and turned his somber eyes to the dwarf. 

                "Is anything the matter?" Gimli asked.

                "Look to the sky. There has been a battle, and much blood has been shed. Do you see the sun rising? It is painted red."

                Aragorn came up and clasped Legolas' shoulder. "I never thought you believed in these superstitions." He said amiably, trying to lift Legolas' foul mood. 

 Legolas' flinched slightly from his touch, and turned around to face the man, miffed. "These are more than superstitions; they are truths." He said. "Are you ready to go?"

Aragorn watched Legolas stalk off pensively with an expression that gave none of his thoughts away.

They had been running for perhaps two hours when Aragorn stopped suddenly and kneeled on the ground. Gimli, huffing with effort, caught up to him.

"What is it?"

Aragorn brushed the grass with the tips of his fingers. "The orcs had come this way." He replied thoughtfully, and moved further, studying flattened grass intently. 

Legolas came and stood by them without a word, but with a rather impatient look on his face. A faint gleam on the ground caught his eye, and he motioned Aragorn over.

Aragorn picked the object up. "It is one of the brooches we received in Lothlorien. It must be Merry or Pippin's." he said, and stood up, brushing off his knees.

"But…but then… the hobbits?" Gimli trailed off with an uneasy face, not wanting to voice what he was thinking.                

Aragorn gave a small smile. "Have faith. I'd wager that one of them dropped it here for us, and it is as good a sign as any that they are still alive and well." He looked at Legolas.  "Is that not good news?"

"Of course." Legolas replied, and turned his gaze into the distance. After a long pause, he looked back. "A large band approaches."

"How far are they?" Aragorn asked brusquely, going to stand next to Legolas, squinting. "I cannot see them."

Gimli joined them. "That's where those elvish eyes are useful." He said wisely, but opening his eyes wide and trying to see them as well.

"Perhaps another quarter hour would bring them to where we are." Legolas said. " They are about two hundred of them… men, to be sure, and riding horses. I cannot clearer see their flags, so I do not know where they stand."

"Good work!" Gimli said, grinning. "So here is my plan. We shall hide, and if they are foes, we remain hiding. But if they appear to be friends, we jump out at them and ask them if they happened to pass a horde of orcs on their way here."

Legolas watched them through veiled eyes, and kept his turmoil hidden. He was grateful that Gimli and Aragorn hadn't noticed beyond his 'foul mood'. His head pounded with the effort of remaining silent when he wanted to scream.

He did not ask for help, nor did he want it right now. To ask for help would have taken effort in silencing the voice first, and he didn't want to break the delicate balance between himself and the voice by doing that. He had just come to the perfect compromise of submission and resistance.

Legolas kept his hands in firm fists by his side, not wanting to risk hurting his friends. Like this morning; the incident with the arrow, he nearly shot through Gimli, but regained his senses at the last moment and shot it to his side instead. He also kept slightly more apart from them, speaking only when he needed to, avoiding any sort of contact  

And now, he leaned drooping against the rock, exhausted from not even being able to sleep a bit, although he told Aragorn and Gimli otherwise. Legolas let his head rest on his knees drowsily, listlessly listening in on Aragorn and Gimli's conversation to his left. 

He stared at a patch of green grass between his knees, wondering disinterestedly how something could still manage to grow and flourish while others could be in such suffering. A snatch of a song began nagging at his mind, desperately trying to find it's way out.

"_A Elbereth… Gilthoniel…" _ He whispered to the ground. The wind blew at him insistently, tugging at his memory. "_silivren…. Penna… míriel..." _Legolas gained a bit of confidence, and sat up a little more, struggling to recall the words. For some reason, he felt that if could remember the song, all would be well again. "_O menel - "_

Gimli gave a low shout. "Here they come. There were much faster than you thought, Legolas."

Legolas was close to crying. He had lost his train of thoughts and could not remember anymore. The voice chuckled, and he doggedly ignored it, turning his attention to the men. He watched the riders approach, and to his surprise, surround them at an astonishing speed.

"What is your business here?" The man in the lead barked, eyeing the warily. "We do not welcome strangers in the Riddermark, especially in times of strife."

Gimli snorted in amusement, to show he did not think the man was very authoritative. "Our business is our own."

"This is the land of my people, and as a result, all business being conducted should be known to us." He pointed his sword at Gimli in warning.

Legolas, although in a clouded state of mind, felt such loyalty to Gimli that he was startled enough to draw and arrow and fit it into his bow. "You will not touch him." He growled in a voice quite unlike his own, one full of menace and danger.

Aragorn cast them a dark look, and raised his palms to show the riders he had no ill will towards them. "A band of uruk-hai kidnapped out friends and have been traveling through these lands. We are looking for them, and are merely passing through."

The man, seeming not to mistrust them as much as he did earlier because of Aragorn's civilities, dismounted his horse and stood inspecting them. "You mean that ragged orc army that was running at a frightening speed?" Seeing Aragorn's nod, he continued. "My men and I did battle with them last night, and we left none alive. We killed everything in that camp."

Legolas looked at the ground, taking in the earth-shattering blow in silence. Another two are gone…

"Are you sure?" Gimli said loudly. "Are you quite sure? Our two friends are hobbits, they'd appear child-like to your eyes." His eyes were bright with disbelief, and the shakiness of his voice betrayed his anguish.

"I am sorry. We killed everything in that camp." He repeated, and took off his helmet in deference to them. "My name is Eomer, the third marshal of Rohan."

Aragorn threw off his hood and unsheathed his sword, holding it before them the bright blade of Anduril. "I am Aragorn, son of Arathorn." For a moment, Legolas was moved out of his misery in awe of Aragorn's commanding tone. 

Eomer took an involuntary step back, and inclined his head to Aragorn with uttering a word.

"This is Legolas, son of Thranduil of the Mirkwood realm, and my trusted companion, along with Gimli, son of Gloin." Aragorn said.

Legolas' heart ached at the introduction. The mention of his father made Legolas wish that he were there to help him. As for trusted companion…

"These are strange times." Eomer said, almost to himself. "That I should meet you, or see an elf in the company of a dwarf." He sent Legolas and Gimli a look of apology.  "Why, last summer, we even had a wizard visit us."

"A wizard?" Aragorn inquired mildly. "Tell us, what was his name?"

"Gandalf, as he told our king. Theoden is mightily displeased with him when he came into the hall and warned us that Saruman would wage war from Isengard. Theoden didn't believe him, but now it seems what the wizard had said was coming true. To make the king even more angry, Gandalf took Shadowfax, our swiftest steed." Eomer glanced at them to see if they were still listening, and continued with a faint hint of pride. "The Rohirrim are known for their excellent horses."

 Eomer remembered himself and motioned to some of his men, who came forward with two horses. "I would like to help your quest, but it seems impossible at the time. But take these horses and ride towards Fangorn, and perhaps you can search for your hobbit friends. You can still see the smoke from where we burned the orc carcasses, just ride out towards it."

Aragorn took the reins of the first horse and mounted it, not noticing Legolas' distressed face at the mention of Gandalf.

"That one it named Hasufel. Its original master was lost in last night's battle." Eomer turned to Legolas, who had automatically removed the saddle and handed it to one of the men. "And the name of the horse you are now seated on is Arod."

Gimli remained firmly standing on the ground, looking around uncomfortably. "I'd prefer not to ride a horse."

Legolas, who was petting the horse gently, straightened in his seat. "You cannot run alongside us, although we do know you are a swift and able runner." He said, smiling slightly but trembling inwardly. Legolas was afraid to be cheerful, and knew the voice would attack him hardest when he was happy.  "Come and sit with me, and I will make sure you stay firmly in your seat."

Gimli gave a small moan, and approached Arod cautiously. The two men who brought forth the horses dismounted and helped him up behind Legolas, whom he clutched tightly. Arod whinnied and moved on its feet, upsetting Gimli who clutched Legolas all the more tighter. Legolas spoke a few soft words to the horse, which quieted immediately, nickering in affection for it's new master.

Eomer climbed into his own saddle again, ready to ride off. "I wish you good speed and good luck." He called to them, and with a shout, rode off with his men. 

"Well then, we're off as well." Aragorn stirred his horse and began galloping off to the pillar of smoke that Eomer had spoken of.

"Ready, Master Dwarf?" Without waiting for a reply, they were off, following Aragorn closely.

Gimli shut his eyes tightly as they flew on, afraid that he would empty his stomach if he watched the passing landscape. It was a lot faster than running, but much more dangerous, in his opinion. As he clung to Legolas, he noticed that the elf felt unnaturally cold. He risked opening his eyes a crack to see the side of Legolas' face. From what he could tell, the elf's eyes held a strange light and dullness at the same time. It was a frightening sight, for he looked both dead and alive.

Gimli squeezed his eyes shut again, thinking hard and fast. At Amon Hen, Legolas had mentioned the return of the voice, but not once afterwards. It might be back and Legolas was just not saying anything to him or Aragorn. Or perhaps Legolas was plain exhausted. Gimli admitted to himself that he was ready to drop and sleep for a full month, maybe it was the same with Legolas. He discarded that thought immediately, saying to himself it was not in the nature of the elves to tire so easily.

What if he grieved for Boromir? He had taken the death of Gandalf quite hard. Gimli did see Legolas' expression when Eomer spoke about Gandalf, and noticed it hurt him still.  But Aragorn was closer to Boromir than Legolas and did not show as much grief. 

Gimli sighed in relief as they approached the dense forest, but then groaned lowly in agitation. Was there no end to this riddle?

To be continued….

I have purposely left the part out about what the voice did to Legolas as a bit of an experiment. ^_^ That's all I'm going to say for now, because the gap was intentional….  Oh… there was something else. I know that they met up with Eomer on the fourth morning, but I really wanted to condense this part of the story, so they met Eomer on the third morning instead. Hope you didn't really mind so much.

Hookay. You will not believe the week I'm having. You have to see this to believe it. On Tuesday, I had a religion test. Wednesday, I had a chemistry test. Thursday, I'm having a chemistry debate, a physics test, and another religion test. Friday, I have an English test. To top it off, I have to finish reading Les Miserables. All one thousand and something pages of it. Oh yes, Thursday night I'm starting a swimming instructor's course that runs to late at night, so there goes any time I have for studying for the English test. Miserable teachers and the cramming their doing to get in the mid-term marks…. *growls* Stupid education system, it's getting no one anywhere. Haven't they heard that ignorance is bliss???

On a lighter note… wait, there's no lighter note. Thanks to reviewers: Wandering-Ranger, Erhothwen Stary Night, Silent Angel, and  Kaimelieamin.

Cheysuli – Wind… oh yes! I know where I got that idea. I had read Many Waters, by Madeline L'Engle, and one the main characters learned how to listen to the stars and wind, and I found that really great for some unfathomable reason.  So I figured, heck, why can't elves listen in to the stars and the wind if they're so in tune with nature? 

Dream Keeper: ___I_LIKE_THE_UNDERSCORE_THING_YOU_DO_!!! ^_^ Okay, that's me being dumb. I'm eating chocolate covered espresso cookies, or that's what the wrapper is telling me, but whatever it is, it's helping stay awake right now. And thank god, because there is a heck of a lot of work to be done. *sighs*

Merrylyn: Hahah. If I ever EVER got to hug dear Leggy, I would swoon and faint. Anyways, I thought about the eyebrows of doom while I was writing my chem. Test today, and I just began cracking up. It's a good thing I had my periodic table and solubility chart to muffle my hysterical laughter.

RainyDays: Legolas calling out was an open-ended, take it as you see it thing. So sure, Legolas calling out for Aragorn all the way!

Soulsearcher-Arbariel: I've been popping anti-stress pills, aka chocolate covered espresso cookies by the load. It helps a lot. Especially when one needs to chain themselves to study. Oh that evil evil word…. As for "Tiro nin!" that was whoever you thought it was. Except for maybe Arwen, because she can't exactly pop in to the middle of the scene and scream that. Although she did pop into the movie to save Frodo, while poor Glorfindel was totally cut out. Darn it, I promised myself I wouldn't go ranting about that.

Torture_the_elf: I looked the orc/uruk/uruk-hai up (I check the majority of my facts before I write about them), and from it this is what I understood: The complete race of them are the orcs, while one of the subdivisions are uruk-hai. Uruk just a shortened term for uruk-hai, and literally means orc in the black speech. Sometimes I'm so busy I can barely keep up with my own fic, but I promise to check your fic out.

Lady-Daine: Ooh, make the membership of NSFWBCTOL to 3.422829, because my turtle has officially decided to join!

Well, hope you liked this chapter, and since things can only go up when you're down… by next week, I'll have an entirely busy-free week!


	16. I will remain where I am

Color of Distress

Disclaimer – I have run out of original idea as to what I should write here. Lord of the Rings belongs solely to Tolkien, and is not mine in any imaginable way. None whatsoever, unless I marry into the family and inherit the rights to it or something. 

Chapter 16 – I will remain where I am

Legolas was thankful for Arod. The animal sensed his fear and pain, and showered affection upon the elf, which he accepted with deep gratitude, and felt that he must love the horse as well.

He scrunched his nose as a horrible stench greeted them as they approached the orc pile. Legolas leapt off the horse, leaving Gimli to slide off Arod clumsily. In any other circumstances, he would have helped Gimli down, but the sight that faced him was overwhelming.

Aragorn joined him, looking grimly at the orc pile. "We'd better start looking for them." He said with a look of deep disgust. He pushed a body aside with his boot, then threw himself down on his knees, uncaring of the stench. Aragorn began searching almost manically, shoving the carcasses aside in a great fury.

Gimli walked painfully over, minding his sore thighs from the ride. He took his axe and began shifting through the pile steadily, knocking aside shoddy pieces of orc amour away with ease. Legolas circled the heap, and decided not to care about the smell, tossed the bodies aside.

The sight of a blacked arrow raised bile in his throat; and he had to turn away for a moment as images of Boromir dying flooded his mind.

_Boromir, who must have been protecting Merry and Pippin_

_And I, who could have been protecting Boromir._

Legolas turned back and dug through the pile with renewed fervor, although he knew not what he wanted to find. If they found their bodies, then they were dead, and only five members of the fellowship would remain. If they did not find their bodies, then perhaps the hobbits were still alive, but in possibly worse conditions.

These thoughts ran through the mind of the three while they worked the afternoon away. And inevitably, the sun began to sink below the horizon, leaving them little light to work by. All that remained of the tall pile were scattered ashes, pieces of armor, orc remains, and different crude weapons. There were no signs of Merry and Pippin at all.

Gimli threw his axe down. "It's no use. They aren't here."

"Then I only hope they are safe." Aragorn said, looking out at the spread pile.

"And I hope they are yet alive." Legolas added quietly. 

"We will search the forest tomorrow." Aragorn said, placing a hand on Gimli's shoulder and the other on Legolas' arm. "I think we should rest for now.

They made camp under a large brown tree that stood slight away from the forest, yet it seemed to be still part a of Fangorn. Night had fallen and there was still no fire, but Gimli was adamant about having one, and argued for it as he shivered from the biting wind.

"On the other side of this overgrown maze is Isengard." Gimli said stubbornly. "There could be any monstrous beast just waiting for us, but a fire could help keep them away."

"Just as easily as the fire could lead a beast to us." Aragorn said, and drew his cloak around him.

"We could catch something to eat and cook it…" Gimli said shamelessly, and ran his thumb over the blade of his axe. "All we would need is a bit of wood."

Aragorn shrugged, too weary to be in the mood to quarrel over a fire. "If you want it that badly, then go ahead." He said, sitting hunched over.

Legolas put an arm out to caution Gimli. "Cut no living wood." He warned, and the way he held an aura of knowledge and wisdom was enough to make Gimli listen. He bustled off, searching the ground for deadfall.

In truth, Legolas was merely listening to the trees murmur to each other, and they spoke reminiscently about the how the used to be a part of Eriador in the long past. They now rumbled angrily about the new destruction that was taking place in the southwest, and there was a undercurrent of worry and wariness at the three newcomers, followed by a sigh of relief when Gimli emerged with an armload of deadfall.

Gimli fixed the fire by himself and sat by it in satisfaction. Aragorn was nodding off into sleep while Legolas stood, watching over them like he did in the previous nights.

"This is quite unfair." Gimli said suddenly, standing up. Aragorn lurched awake, staring at the fire drowsily, while Legolas took a small step closer.

"What are you talking about?" Aragorn asked, rubbing his eyes.

"Well, the way that Legolas is always guarding us while we sleep." Gimli snapped his fingers, coming upon a reasonable thought. " I say we do this in shifts, so Legolas can get some sleep as well."

There was nothing more he wanted at the moment, but Legolas was afraid to sleep, so he numbly shook his head. "It is fine."

"Don't be daft. I'll take the first shift, and you will get some sleep." Gimli said, and marched out a few paces, standing erect with his axe held out in front of him.

Legolas remained standing, fighting the impulse to run and make Gimli rest instead. But he eventually lay down on the grass stiffly, and eventually let sleep wash over him.

Whenever Gimli turned around to check on Legolas, the elf's blue eyes reflected the fire and made them seem red instead. He still was not used to how elves slept with their eyes open, and wondered if Legolas was truly asleep.

He was not.

Legolas blinked slowly, like a cat, and returned to staring into the fire. 

_I say, do you actually feel sorry for those orcs you dug through? Pity is a strange thing, and it seems that it makes one more merciful. _

The voice chattered on to him, nearly friendly if there was not the undercurrent of malice. Legolas knew what it was doing. It was asserting itself as the master, with the right to say whatever it pleased, whenever it pleased, and tried to be friendly to cajole Legolas into submission. Legolas made no move to prevent its talk, although he tried his hardest to ignore it.

He did not know if the voice could tell, but Legolas was at his breaking point. He didn't want to struggle against it anymore, and obedience would come as a welcome relief. The mix of tension, sorrow, and fear he felt made life for him miserable. The support of his friends was no longer enough. They too had their worries and troubles, Aragorn worst of all. The only thing keeping him from giving in was Galadriel's parting words, and even they seemed to be losing their meaning.

_Would pity stay your hand from shooting someone? Could you look into a living creature eyes, no matter how deformed and hated, and give them their life?_

_Leave me._

_Well, there you have it. You are showing me no pity by trying to get rid of me. Wherever will I go?_

_I don't care. Anywhere but within me._

_Could I then go to Aragorn? Or perhaps Gimli?_

Legolas eyes burned with tears that he would not shed. To see what was happening to him come to pass in his friends would be like watching how he himself fell apart. _You will not touch them._

_Then I will remain where I am. Tell your friends that I have returned, and I will kill them._

_You have no physical form. You can barely move a leaf, let alone hold a weapon._

It laughed hysterically, and began sneering. _I do hold a leaf, Prince Greenleaf. _It laughed again at it's own sadistic joke. _As for a weapon... although I cannot hold one, you can._

_It did not work before. They would kill me first._

_Then we'll see who will be the first to die._

Legolas had not the heart to continue fighting. He had no use for the same threat being repeated to him over and over again. Resigning himself to nightmares, he allowed himself to slip into slumber.

_Tiro nin!_

_Legolas took a wavering step towards the fire, but there was something wrong with his eyes. He saw only in patches, while the rest was blacked out completely. For a moment, he could not see entirely, and his vision suddenly returned in an instant. He had no perception whatsoever at this point._

"I have been very patient with you." _Legolas threw his hand over his mouth, struggling to keep these foreign words that were not his own from pouring through his lips. _"Let us play a simple game. Who are you?"

_"Legolas Greenleaf, Prince of the Mirkwood Realm, son of Thranduil, friend to Aragorn and Gimli, protected by Galadriel!" He cried. That much he knew, being reinforced by his friends so many times. For a brief moment he had the satisfaction of knowing that the voice could not take his identity no matter what else it tried._

"So you are." _Legolas bit down on his lower lip to prevent it from speaking again through him, but only succeeded in drawing blood. _"And what are you?"__

_Here Legolas was less sure, but answered anyway. "I am an elf, of noble silvan descent. My grandfather fought at the War of the Last Alliance."_

"And died miserably and foolishly."

 _ Here Legolas felt indignant rage, and would have attacked the voice directly if it did not interrupt him._

"Tell me about elves. You must be quite knowledgeable, being one among them."

_Legolas strove to remember all he had been taught about his kind when he was a child, and recited his history as if he was being quizzed by a tutor, calming down slightly. "We are the Elder Children of Iluvatar, the Firstborn, the Eldar. The first of our kind were awakened even before the Rising of the Sun and Moon, and we are not subject to illness and death." He proceeded to tell in detail the defeat of Melkor and the great journey, and how some elves decided to remain on Middle Earth._

"Well, tonight, you will forget all you have just said."

_"I will not."_

"I believe that all elves are too full of pride about their lineage and superiority. What if you were created an orc? Would you hold such pride then?" _The voice was full of resentment and every word it spoke was a vicious attack. _

_And Legolas suddenly realized that every word was literally an attack. With every word, there was a sharp prickling sensation on his back. He slid his hand into his shirt, and when he looked at his fingers, they were stained with blood._

_"Stop it! Stop it!" he shouted, but if Aragorn or Gimli had been awake, they would have only seen his lips moving soundlessly. "You cannot do this!"_

"Will you forget?"

_"No!"_

"It is easy to forget everything…you have forgotten much of what I had taught you in Lothlorien. Perhaps you would like another lesson to refresh your faulty memory?"

_Legolas shivered so violently he felt like his bones were being jolted out of his skin. "No! No! No!" he cried in terror. "I like it not!" He half stumbled, half ran away from the fire, chased by a foe that was found within himself._

_He came upon a small stream not far from the fire, and wildly took his shirt off. Legolas threw himself into the water, his teeth chattering, and began washing the blood off his back in a frenzy._

"Oh, you are amusing." _The voice said, and that was it._ _No more was spoken._

_Legolas remained in the water for a long time, shaking from fright and cold until he finally climbed out of the water and retrieved his shirt, while his heart pounded madly within him. As soon as he was dry, he dressed and moved slowly back to the campfire. He tentatively felt his back, and it stung sharply in return. The little hope he had fled. Legolas had nearly convinced himself it was a lie, that the voice could not inflict bodily harm to him, yet there was now proof of it._

_Legolas did not realize that he had in fact won himself a small victory in trying to run from the voice. It showed that he still had the willpower to free himself, but merely lacked the belief in himself to do it._

_He stood still for several hours until dawn arrived. And with the arrival a dawn came the voice's unwelcome return._

"Good morning." It said merrily.

_Legolas did not reply, and merely felt for his arrows. He could not endure it anymore, and if he had to stab himself to be free, he vowed that he would._

_It sensed his intent, however, and snarled at Legolas. "_Wake your dear friend up."

_Legolas felt and saw his left hand reaching for his bow, and his arms working in their usual way to fit the arrow in the bow instead of plunging the sharp tip into his own chest. His arm lifted and took aim without his control, and drew the string taut._

_He uttered a soft cry as he wrenched his arms aside and shot the ground next to Gimli instead. _

_And here he gained his second victory, although he did not recognize it. The voice knew this, and decided to take another tactic._

Legolas awoke when something heavy crashed into him, stepped heavily over him, and fell headlong onto the ground.

"Old! Here, man! I say… I saw…white!" Gimli babbled, grabbing at Aragorn's arm and shaking it violently. 

Dazed, both from his frantic awakening and the dream, Legolas could not make head nor tail of what Gimli what saying. Aragorn shook his head, trying to keep his eyes open.

"Speak clearly." He said, slightly irritated.

"There!" Gimli pointed across to the fire, where a figure of an old man stood, dressed in white robes. Because they were facing the fire, they saw no details.

Legolas and Aragorn sprang to their feet, although the lines of fatigue were evident on their gaunt faces. 

"Old man, come warm yourself by are fire." Legolas called, trying to lure him closer into the light. However, the man did not move.

"Show yourself!" Aragorn barked, drawing his word.

The figure disappeared without a sound. 

Gimli blinked furiously. "Was he truly there, or am I hallucinating?"

"He was there." Legolas said, overcome with relief. His first thoughts leapt to the voice being that figure, but if Gimli could see it as well, then it couldn't have been. It was silent at the present moment.

Aragorn gave a shout of anger. "Our horses have been stolen!"

And as if the apparition was making a mockery of them, they heard the horses whinny in the distance.

"Devilry of Saruman." Gimli hissed, glancing about nervously. 

"Saruman?" Legolas repeated hollowly. "Why did he only steal our horses and not kill us? I wager he could have finished us all with one spell."

"I think it is not him." Aragorn stated. "For the reason you have just said, Legolas."  

Gimli gripped his axe tightly. "I think we should still have guard shifts the rest of the night." He said, still casting tense glances around the camp.

Legolas shrugged. It mattered not to him. He would not go to sleep again and returned to his haunted dreams. He would have welcomed Saruman if it meant liberation from the voice. He was worn, empty, and could not find any emotion strong enough to make he care about anything.  

"I will keep watch for the rest of the night." Legolas said.

Aragorn noticed his brittle voice and pale face, and put an arm out to him. "No, I will. You shall rest."

"I am set on guarding for the rest of the night, and if you would like to sit awake with me as well instead of sleeping, I have no qualms." Legolas said firmly.

Aragorn threw up his arms; having lost what little patience he had left, and lay down with a dark face.

Legolas, who reported no sightings of the strange man, awakened them in the morning. They ate Lembas in terse silence, until Gimli broke the stillness.

"What will be done about the horses?" Gimli asked. 

"We can do nothing." Aragorn said, looking at the ground.

Legolas found this strange and funny, and found that he smiling in spite of himself. "Why Gimli, I think you might make a rider yet."

"And where are we going? We have found no trace of the hobbits, and have not so much as even a small clue." Gimli said, stuffing his blanket into his pack.

Aragorn stood up and gazed towards the horizon despondently. "I do not know." He said quietly, in a voice full of despair. "I know not what to do, or where to go, or if I should even be making choices for us. I have failed all of you, Merry and Pippin most of all." He kicked some of the garbage from the orc pile aside in frustration. 

Legolas took Aragorn's hand and held it tightly. In all his moments of self-doubt and anguish, Aragorn was there to support him. Forgetting his own troubles for the time, he tried to encourage his friend on. Aragorn remained unmoving, staring at the ground while Legolas spoke, until his eyes widened in discovery.

"A piece of a mallorn leaf! There are crumbs of Lembas!" He whispered hoarsely in excitement. Aragorn bent over to pick it up. "And… tiny foot prints…lightly made…" he began following the tracks. "Cut ropes…." 

Gimli eagerly followed while Legolas trailed behind, hesitating a little. He did not want to get his hopes up in return for a large letdown. 

"Here is the knife that cut the rope!" Gimli called loudly, holding up a dagger with a hideous carving of a demonic face.

Legolas looked at them in exasperation. "What a riddle Merry and Pippin have left us!" he exclaimed. "A hobbit escapes notice from both orcs and the riders while bound, runs several paces before cutting his bonds in open battle! Then feeling hungry, decides to have a bite of Lembas. But wait, here is a greater mystery! How does a fully bound hobbit cut his bonds and run? Well, he does not run! He grows wings and flies away!" 

"If I have read the trails correctly…" Aragorn began, gesturing to the ground with his hands. "Either their arms or legs were free, and they were carried to this spot by an orc, then cut himself free." Aragorn stopped and looked at them with a light of hope lit in his eyes. "I think they may have escaped into Fangorn Forest."

"So… are we entering the forest as well?" Gimli asked, rather unwillingly.

"Of course." Aragorn made to enter it, but Legolas put out an arm.

"A word about the forest." Legolas said cautiously. "I know little about this place, but there are songs about the Onodrim, which men call Ents, and they have lived here since long ago, and must be as old as the elves can remember."

"We will be careful." Aragorn promised, and walked into the forest. 

Gimli groaned. "I do not know what I dread more…entering Fangorn or traveling through Rohan on foot."

Legolas shut his eyes in exhaustion. "Entering Fangorn would have been a holiday for me if I were not troubled so." The hairs on the back of his neck stood up as the voice hissed at him in warning.

Gimli looked at Legolas in trepidation. "Troubled?"

He opened his eyes and sighed heavily. "I would have enjoyed these woods far more if I did not worry so for the little ones." Legolas said finally, he went in after Aragorn without another word.

To be continued….

I realized that this chapter might have been a bit confusing. The part in the middle that is mostly in italics is Legolas' nightmare as he recalls what happens the night before he shot the arrow to the side of Gimli. And it just moves forwards normally after he's been woken up. I had completely forgotten what my experiment was and why I wasn't filling in that part yet, so I just added it in. 

You may or may not have noticed, but this chapter is a couple pages longer than previous ones. Just a little longer, because I had a request for a longer chapter for a birthday present. I was fully prepared to write up six pages instead of the usual three, but I only made five by Wednesday. Oh well.  Thanks to all the reviewers – Legolasluver, Lady Anviel Greenleaf, somethingsinthebasement, musicgrl, and Torture-the-elf.

Erhothwen – Let's start a war band and have anyone who wants to join save Legolas from the voice. *grabs a sword and a horse* We're off to save Leggy!

Wandering Ranger – Happy Birthday!!! This chapter wasn't exactly chock full of elf torture, and unfortunately this chapter wasn't as long as I wanted to make it for you. But well, it happens. ^_^ Anyways, have a great birthday!

Reginabean – Okay… so…. Maybe school should only be mandatory up to elementary school so people can still be literate and not suffer from extreme stress and work overload…. oh poo. *grumbles* Okay. School isn't horrible when your not being worked to death.  ^_^

Merrylyn – "Every teacher should experience their screams echoing down the halls at least once in their educational career." ROTFLMAO! Okay, here is my story of the day: We once got our French teacher go into a nervous breakdown and she ran out of the class, sobbing and screaming. It was really funny, in a sadistic sort of way. Well, she didn't come back after that day, which makes me wonder what happened to her…. ^_^ Thinking back on it, I kind of feel really bad for her.

Cheysuli – I was thinking about the wax figures when I wrote that. How they're not alive, but they look alive, and how their eyes are so bright without life and intelligence. 

Lady-Daine: I am completely boggled. Les Miserables in FRENCH?? Haha… ha ha… funny joke. Thinking about reading it in French is giving me a heart attack. I haven't seen spirited away. I really wanted to, but I never got around to seeing it. I'm going to put it on my list of movies to see….

Soulsearcher-arbariel: Well, you did get to see Celeborn and Elrond and Elrond and Celeborn too… they ARE male elves, right??  Just not the most….um.. . attractive ones. ^_^ As for my workload, it has dropped significantly since last week, although my physics teacher is a slave driver and has proclaimed Thursday s "Quiz days." 

Dreamkeeper: Well, I'm still unconscious. I'm not normally one to faint… but heck. Do you know I squealed like mad when I read what you wrote????? As for what I'm doing to Leggy, we've had a nice long discussion….  

I'm thinking of taking the next week off writing because of Easter, but I won't if anyone has any objections to it. So just let me know, either through e-mail or the review panel. Okay then, until the next chapter!


	17. Then find me

Color of Distress

Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings or any character within it. As well, I should add my own disclaimer and say that my computer is liable to crash on me any time that may result in delayed updates. The all-knowing computer nerd father is still nursing it back to health!! Just joking. My dad is not a nerd, he just works with computers, and so I have lovingly named him 'computer nerd.'

A/N: It's been forever! We-ell, just two weeks actually. But go on and read first, I'll explain later. 

Chapter: Goodness, I've forgotten what chapter were on. Let's try again.

Chapter 17 – "Then find me."

Gimli felt apprehensive as they searching for fresh signs of the hobbits in the forest and jumped at every rustling leaf and creaking branch. He nervously sidled up and stayed closed to Legolas, and although the elf seemed increasingly preoccupied of late, Legolas noticed this and sent Gimli a quizzical look.

"I thought I saw something here." Gimli offered in a half-hearted explanation

Aragorn, who had gone slightly ahead of them, returned. "I will go ahead to look for them." He announced. "There is little enough for me to see, and while I'd appreciate your help…"

Gimli grinned slightly. "I understand. We'd only be in your way." He said, and promptly said down, stretching himself out. "Don't you worry about us, we'll just wait here for you."

Legolas sat down next to Gimli, not bothering to protest, and Aragorn, seeing that he had their agreement, hurried off.

The dwarf was suddenly startled by the sound of a dry branch falling off of a tree. "These woods are evil." Gimli said ominously.  

 Legolas considered this. He leaned forward to a tree, peering at it with wide eyes. "I do not think so. This place is old, full of malice, but not directed towards us. But there is more in the air here. It is so thick and tense that I can hardly breathe."

"It's just stuffy in here." Gimli replied, fanning himself vigorously. 

Legolas suddenly found that his eyes were wet with tears. "I could have been happy here, if I had come in a time of peace." All he yearned for now was a safe, peaceful place for him to spend time in; he didn't want to fight anything, including the voice anymore.

Gimli heard the passion in which Legolas said that in, and not knowing how to comfort his friend, he patted Legolas' knee awkwardly. "And you probably would have been happy here." He agreed, and realizing he had just made things worse, ploughed on. "Although I would not have been. But you see, I am happy that you are here with me. Before this journey, if someone had said to me I would be a friend to an elf, I would have scorned him. You comfort me."

Legolas listened to Gimli little speech, and smiled warmly at the dwarf, feeling much better about everything. "And you comfort me." He replied, wishing he could let Gimli know the extent of his own dependence on his presence. 

They sat resting in companionable, if not a bit embarrassed silence. 

Gimli cleared his throat. "And though the fact that you are here makes me feel much safer in this forsaken place, I think it best that you keep your bow ready. As for myself, my axe is prepared to strike a blow in a moments notice." He glanced up at the tree they were under. "Of course," he said, correcting himself, "I will not use it on any tree here. I just fear that the old man will return, and we should be prepared."

The sound of footsteps arrived with Aragorn, who came smiling. "I have found some small tracks, and although they are two days old, we can still follow them." He led them to a river and pointed out some footprints. "If indeed the hobbits were here, they would naturally follow the course of the river."

At length, they came to a steep face of rock with steps leading up the side. Here the forest appeared less dark and oppressive, and thin shafts of sunlight filtered down through the branches. 

"Let's climb up to the top." Legolas said suddenly. "I want to breathe fresh air again." They began climbing up. Legolas moved gracefully and nimbly, Gimli rather clumsily, but Aragorn was unusually slow and was inspected the surface for more traces of the hobbits.

When they were at the top, their eyes could barely take in all the sights. The forest stretched in all direction except for east where the plains were visible; the sky was a clear, pale, blue, and the air was crisp and fresh. Legolas breathed in deeply, feeling awash with a strange sort of relief and tenderness for Middle Earth.

_What do you hope to learn?_

Legolas started with fright and bumped into Gimli, who saw that his eyes were wide and fearful. The elf sat down, leaning against the rock shelf, and breathing hard and fast. He shut his eyes, willed for it to go away, and opened his eyes once more.

_I'm still here. Answer the question._

Aragorn and Gimli had now knelt down by Legolas, whose movements had become erratic.

"Legolas, is it the voice?" He vaguely heard Gimli's urgent question, and saw his panicked face through tears of desperation.

_Tell them and you all die._

He began shaking violently, biting his tongue hard to prevent himself for blurting out the truth. Legolas didn't care for pride or dignity anymore, but curled himself into a ball, trying to make himself small as possible, trying to detract attention from himself. Yet, at the same time, Legolas was furious at being degraded by something immaterial.

_Why did you come to me?_

_It just happened to be convenient. I suppose you were merely in the wrong place at the wrong time._

Legolas let out a cry of rage that startled even Aragorn and Gimli. A matter of convenience. It was that which had caused him so much distress and suffering. He saw his friends speaking to each other worriedly and it made him more incensed still. They had to take care of him and watch him so because of it. A sob of sheer rage wrenched itself from his throat, and he began crying.

_So many have helped me, and I have caused so much trouble for them. And this is because for…for your own sordid amusement. _

_Well, actually, yes. _It was obviously enjoying itself. Its voice took on a new quality, smoother, sly, and more dangerous.

_I hate you._

"It comes in attacks now." Aragorn said to Gimli. He wanted to put his arms around Legolas, but was afraid that Legolas would not be able to recognize him.

Gimli was pale. "I didn't think to say anything to you before, but it came also at Amon Hen. But Legolas recovered quickly that time." He looked hard at Legolas, as if he could transfer his strength to him. "This is far worse."

"What did you do back then?" 

Gimli faltered, because the idea seemed foolish and irrelevant now. "I…I was really just horsing around. I yelled into his ear and kept told the voice to go away. And I suppose it did, because Legolas became better."

Aragorn reached out and touched Legolas' arm, who recoiled from the touch and whimpered something incoherently. Aragorn sighed heavily, and deep creases appeared on his forehead. "We cannot do that this time." He said, withdrawing his hand. "And we promised Legolas not to use anymore of Galadriel's potion." He hit the ground with a fist in frustration. "I don't know what to do."

"We shall just talk to him, and he will have to hear us over that…demon." Gimli said simply. "We can drown it out."

In Gimli's determined eyes, Aragorn saw all the devotion and caring he held for Legolas, and felt humbled. He felt ashamed that he had been ignoring Legolas for the past few days because he was so concentrated on finding the hobbits so that he could ease his guilt. And he let Legolas go on without rest or sleep, and it was no wonder to Aragorn that Legolas was in the state he was in right now.

_"Lasta o ammen, Legolas." _Aragorn said softly. _(Listen to us, Legolas) _

Gimli had no idea what Aragorn said, but encouraged by Aragorn's hope, he began as well. "Legolas, do not listen to that thing. Listen to us, your friends."

_"Carú estel i lamath." (Do not trust the voice)_

"Be strong. Fight it."

_"Istach den furu." _

_Carú estel i lamath._

_Be strong. Fight it._

_You know it lies._

Legolas clutched his head. There were three voices now, and they all became one large mass of babbling noises. Snatches of words drifted out at him meaninglessly and pounded at his head. He sobbed hard, concentrating all his energy on tuning all noise out until he came upon a sense of silence within himself.

Yet it was not completely silent. He heard the loving nickering of a horse, the wind brushing through many leaves, and the sound of a soft cloak being swept over the floor in Mirkwood. Legolas heard the things in nature that he loved and knew best. And then there was the sound of laughter. It was not the chilling snigger of the voice, but his father's warm laughter, entwined with a friend's. His father's laugh died out, leaving only a single voice.

_"Ai, Thranduilion, isgar naegra-daer." (Son of Thranduil, you have suffered much.) "Nin-al hanya sin." (I did not expect this.)_

Then Legolas felt ashamed, because from the tone of the voice he knew that it was never expected that a prince should fall victim to such a malady.

_"Yana im-man thela. Is-al garo raika." (That is not what I meant. You are not to be blamed.)_

"I need you here." Legolas whispered.

_"Taare tuuva-nin." (Then find me.)_

 

Gimli was cross, not with Legolas, but that their attempt at bringing him back was not succeeding. But he felt his heart was breaking. The elf was curled up in a corner, crying wildly, and it pained him to see such a noble creature behaving like a trapped animal that has lost hope at life. He knew Aragorn felt the same way; Gimli had seen how he had avoided looking into Legolas' painfully thin face.

Gradually, the crying stopped except for an occasional shiver. Legolas had gone into some kind of trance, which made Gimli nervous.

Aragorn spoke first. "Do you think he will attack us again?" his asked quietly.

Gimli wished he knew the answer, but answered solidly as he could. "No." he said firmly. "Or he'd better not. You promised to take his life if he tried." He smiled wanly. "And I would in turn kill you if you tried."

Aragorn shook his head listlessly. "I know I promised that, and I keep my vows, but I had to break only one…but I cannot. Did you not promise to make the decision when the time came?"

"That is what I said." Gimli admitted. "Why do you ask?"

"Because the time might be now." Aragorn said. He looked away and blinked hard, clearing his tears so Gimli would not see. 

"It will not be now. " Gimli answered stolidly. "And the time for me to choose will never come."

They both had a shock and moved closer to Legolas when they heard him murmur.

"I need you here."

Aragorn and Gimli turned to each other. "Is he speaking to us?" Gimli said, encouraged.

"I suppose so. We are the only ones here."

"We are here, Legolas." Gimli reached out to touch Legolas' arm, and the second he did, the elf's eyes flew open and stared back at Gimli, and then at Aragorn.

Legolas stood up without a word and looked out far into the forest, his blue eyes intense and probing. "Look!" he cried softly after a moment.

Gimli and Aragorn went to stand on either side of him after exchanging a glance. Aragorn wondered how Legolas could return to normal so quickly, and if it was a trick the voice was playing on them.

"Look at what?" Gimli said.

"In the trees."

"I do not see anything." He complained. "I have not the eyes of an elf."

"Quietly." said Legolas, pointing. "He is moving from tree to tree."

Aragorn looked, and saw an old man dressed in ragged grey robes. He walked bent over a rough staff, and his stride told that he was weary. He was filled with a strange sense of expectancy and tension, and the three held their breaths as the old man began making his way towards them.

  Gimli stared with wide eyes, and then tugged on Legolas' sleeve, unable to contain himself. "Get out your bow!" he hissed. "Be ready! It is Saruman, I tell you! Hit him before he speaks, or he will cast a spell on us!"

Legolas seemed reluctant to do so, but took out his bow and Gimli's urging. He did not see any reason in fitting the bow into the arrow, and held it tightly in his hand. He was tense with anticipation, and watched the man together with Aragorn.

Aragorn's thoughts were racing. If it were Saruman, then they were as good as dead. But his instinct told him there was more, and he trusted his gut feeling. And it perplexed him that Legolas should regain his senses and spot the man when he was shaken to the core not minutes before. There was more to this mystery, he was sure. 

"Legolas!" Gimli's voice rose, panicked. "Why are you waiting? What's the matter with you?"

Legolas did not answer, and watched the man still, intent and suspenseful.  He finally shook his head mutely, and his face did not give away the torrent of emotions that was pounding away inside of him.

_Taare tuuva-nin…_

"We will not shoot an old man who is not prepared and unaware of out presence." Aragorn said quietly.

Gimli was completely bowled over and mystified, and gaped open mouth as the stranger quickened his pace towards the foot of the rock wall without warning. With a subtle movement, he looked up, while the three looked down. They stood like that for a moment.

A hood that threw shadows over him covered the man's face, over the hood was a wide-brimmed hat, and they could only see the end of his nose and his beard. However, Aragorn was quite sure he caught a glimpse of a pair of bright, intelligent eyes within the hood.

"I should like to speak with you." The stranger said. "Shall I climb up, or will you come down?"

The three stared back in silence, and the man began climbing up with incredible swiftness. 

Gimli at last found his voice, and it was rough. "Now! Legolas, shoot him now!"

The old man seemed to be slightly vexed. "Did I not say I merely was going to speak with you? I say, Master Elf, put that bow down."

And Legolas, who still stood transfixed, let the bow slide from his hands harmlessly to the floor. Gimli reached for he axe immediately, when the man turned to him.

"Master Dwarf, take your hand away from your axe, or at least until I finish speaking."

Gimli felt his hand fall irresistibly to his side, and he stood still, indignant and afraid.

The old man sprang closer, and Aragorn saw that he was mistaken in thinking the stranger was weary, because he now moved nimbly. While he moved up the rock shelf, Gimli thought he caught a glimmer of white underneath the grey robes, and instantly connected it with Saruman.

He took in a breath sharply, and it echoed in the silence.

The man stopped a few feet away from them, leaning on his staff, and put his head forwards out of the hood, peering at them. "Well, I say, this is odd. Hardly anyone travels here. And to see and elf, man and a dwarf! Strange, I say. Quite strange. What are you doing in these parts?"

"It seems like you know Fangorn well." Aragorn said suddenly. 

The man shrugged. "Not as well as some. I come here now and again."

"Well then," Aragorn said crisply. "Might we now what you would like to speak with us about? For the morning wanes and we are running an urgent errand. And may we know your name?"

"I have already said what I wanted to speak about. What are you doing here?" The man repeated. He laughed softly, and it sent a chill through Aragorn, like the sharp coldness of a winter's morning.

 Legolas, however, leaned forwards slightly, listening with strained ears.

"And as for my name, I believe you know it, or at least have heard it before, I think. Yes, you do know my name." His eyes glittered. "Now, tell me about your journey."

The companions did not volunteer a word, but Legolas' face was strange with a yearning.

"Luckily, I already know of your errand." The stranger noted their started looks and continued. "You are looking for some hobbits. Why are you so surprised? The hobbits have indeed come this way. They were here the day before yesterday and met someone unexpected. Does that reassure you?"

"Where are they?" Aragorn asked coldly.

"I can tell you about that if you like. But your errand isn't as important as you thought before. Now, let us sit down and talk amongst ourselves." The man turned away to go sit on a pile of rocks, and once he did, the three lost their complacency and stirred.

Legolas picked up his fallen bow, Aragorn drew his sword warily, and Gimli placed his hand on the handle of his axe again. The man did not notice, and busied himself by sitting down. And when he did, the companions saw that under his grey robes were white robes.

Gimli could not hold his tongue. "Saruman!" He roared, leaping with his axe in hand. "Tell us what you have done with my friends, otherwise, I shall have to take your head off!" 

The old man leapt to his feet in an instant and his tattered robes flung off, revealing shining white garments. He raised his staff and Gimli's axe flew harmlessly on the ground. The hilt of Aragorn's sword blazed with an intense heat, and he had to drop it.

"Legolas!" Gimli cried, terrified. "Legolas, do something!"

Legolas swiftly fitted a bow into his arrow, but paused for a split second, thinking about the consequences of his action. The man simply exuded a mysterious air that Legolas felt that he knew. But Gimli's urgent shouting pushed him on, and he shot the arrow when it flew straight up in the air and disappeared.

The three stared at him again. His hair was as white as the snow on the highest mountain, and under his thick brows were two wise, sparkling eyes. They could feel the power coming from the man; it rolled over them like waves. 

Legolas' heart was suddenly light, because he now knew who was standing before him. The beginning of his torment was a lie.

"_Mithrandir! Mithrandir!" _He cried with shining eyes. 

"Well met, I say. It is nice to see you again, Legolas." 

_ "Garo-im tuuva." (I have found you.)  _ Legolas said in his heart, with every bit of earnestness and delight he could muster. Gandalf somehow knew what he said, and acknowledged it with the slightest of nods and a warm smile.

Gimli and Aragorn gazed at Gandalf, and they looked as if they could hardly believe their eyes. Between wonder, joy, and fear, Aragorn tried to find some words.

"Gandalf!" he exclaimed, smiling like he hadn't in days. "Gandalf! You have returned to us when we had nearly no hope left!"

Gimli, stunned into silence, shaded his eyes from the white light and sank to his knees, ashamed of his assumption that Gandalf was Saruman. 

"Gandalf?" the old man repeated, a misty look in his eyes. "Yes, that was my name. Gandalf." He wrapped his grey cloak back around himself and the white light stopped shining. Gandalf stepped back down off the rock and laid a hand on Gimli's head. His eyes cleared and his voice became the same as their dear friend and guide. "Why, my good Gimli, get up. There's no need to feel bad. For none of you have done any harm to me, and indeed, no weapon you possess can. Be merry, for we have met again, just as the great storm approaches!" 

The dwarf looked up and laughed. "But you're all in white!"

"I am white, and I am like Saruman as he should be now." Gandalf said. "But come now, tell me about what you have been doing. I have gone through fire and water since we parted, but we are together again. Tell me of yourselves!"

Legolas listened contentedly as Aragorn and Gimli told Gandalf their tale, occasionally adding in what he had to say. He believed down to his core that Gandalf would cure him, and felt that he was half cured, anyway. It began with the thought that Gandalf had died, but Gandalf had not fell. It was false. Thranduil, Galadriel, Haldir, Gimli, and Aragorn were all right.

Smiling serenely, feeling finally at peace, Legolas began humming a childhood song about the spring. Aragorn laughed in surprise, for suddenly it seemed like the elf no longer carried a heavy burden, and all signs of weariness and fear had been erased from his face. 

Gimli felt happy as well, for he had not seen Legolas in such a light mood since the Caradhras, and had missed the banter they had exchanged during the long hours of traveling. He felt that Gandalf's returned had cured Legolas, but to be sure, they would speak with Gandalf about it at a later time.

                 _Ethuil i nestradren an rhîw naergon… (Spring is the cure of the winter's lament...)_

_                Gurenl lhain an-i tolo o calad… (My heart eases with the coming of light…)  _

_                Ananta pân ethuil innas gwanno ilû... (Yet every spring must end in time…)_

To be continued….

Ahhh, yes! To be back and writing! It feels wonderful. Now for my explanation of my prolonged absence. So you all know that I took a break off writing for the week of Easter, and I fully intended to update as normal the week after. But on Tuesday when I go to finish up the chapter, the computer gets hit with a virus that a friend sent to me by accident. (Never go to feetman dot com. I don't even want to write it out.) Then Windows won't start up, and when it does, all my documents have been completely wiped out, and my father had to re-install everything. Thank god for backup on FF.net, or I would have lost everything. 

Well, I back up and running, and I felt so bad I had to double dose on the chapter. Or nearly double dose it, anyways. Heh. This is odd. As I type this, I have new reviews coming in, and just in time, too.

Thanks to: Legolasluver, Musicgrl, Wandering-ranger, Imirie, Aniviel Freespirit, Purple, Regina Bean, Kaimelieamin, Lineral, Colleti, Legolasluver, Imaginator, LegolasLover2003.

Soulsearcher-arbariel: IF and WHEN he breaks, I think there'll be a massive horde of girls surrounding him, spoon feeding him chicken noodle soup and hugging him to make him feel better. And I know I'll be there for sure. ^_^ And I'm not sure if Torture-the-Elf has contacted you, but how's the idea of writing a fic with us?

Dreamkeeper: All these kisses from Legolas is making me woozy…*faints from delight*

Merrylyn: I have just read your entire review aloud, not stopping for breath once, and it nearly killed me. I love it. Elf kissing is better than caffeine and sugar put together, and it's so darned addictive…

Liana Dimnauriel 1.0: What on earth is the 1.0 for?? I've been puzzling over it, and I still haven't figured it out! But I'm glad you liked the fic!

Erhothwen: …. Oh my. Legolas is turning into Road Runner, and I quote "Legolas: Meep! *hides behind Thwen*. Should I be worried??? ^_^

Stary Night: Yesss!! Serious discussion about some points in the fic. *puts on serious glasses* Okay. After reading this chapter, it might not matter to you anymore, but whether it'll affect Legolas in the future will remain to be seen. I suppose Legolas should have told Aragorn and Gimli, but I was thinking about how vulnerable he was at that point, how afraid. I would have personally glued my mouth shut if I were that position. And the whole problem with the suicide thing is that is has a tendency to be romanticized in fic, and it would so nicely go with the idea of a noble Legolas. But what I just said doesn't mean anything, because I will not have Legolas die. 

Aithne: Well… happy belated birthday!! I suppose the extended chapter is another reason why this chapter is longer than normal!

Lady-Daine: No no, I have nothing against the book in French. I'm supposed to be bilingual by now, and I'm just NOT, and the idea of reading Les Mis in French is very very very intimidating to me right now.

Torture the elf: I'd LOVE to write a fic with you!!! We'll discuss some details later…. *begins plotting*

Well, that's it for this week, and I will update for sure next week if it kills me.


	18. I would have you believe that

Color of Distress

Disclaimer: No, not mine. All belongs to Tolkien, ALL.

To all my readers…. I am so sorry. I don't think I should even be able to apologize, but here I am, doing it anyway. I feel terrible for not updating, leaving it hanging like that, and for maybe making you think I've abandoned the fic completely. I posted notices in my bio section and have asked Soulsearcher -Arbariel to let some readers know that I probably wouldn't be able to update regularly until the summer, but I couldn't reach everyone.  Anyways, here's the next chapter.

Chapter 18 -  "I would have you believe that."

It was with much lighter hearts that the companions discussed their current situation. Gandalf learned of several new things concerning the companions, for instance, that it was possible that Sam went with Frodo into Mordor.

Gandalf sighed heavily as Aragorn spoke of Boromir's death. "Yet," he remarked. "I think it was his death that saved him. He went through heavy trials, but is a lord of men and an excellent warrior. But come now," he continued kindly when he saw their gloomy faces, "I will speak of more pressing matters."

Gimli interrupted him. "How did you escape Moria?" he asked curiously, and his eyes were bright with lingering grief. "I am told that the abyss at Durin's bridge has never been measured."

"Alas, it is something I'd rather not revisit, but you all should rightly know this." Gandalf said quietly. "We fell endlessly, into the heart of the cold void, but I was burned by the Balrog's fire. Then we fell into water, and it was deep and cold, and I thought that I would surely freeze. It was also dark, darker than night, and there was no light to see by, for the Balrog's flame had extinguished. We fought in the depths of the earth, until it turned to flee. I pursued him upwards, and we at last reached the Endless Stair. And I climbed it, still pursuing the Balrog to the highest peak of the mountains."

"There are many legends about the Endless Stair; some same it was never made, other said it was destroyed." Gimli said to himself, and became silent when Aragorn sent him a look.

"The Balrog burst into flame again, but I had to gather my strength." Gandalf continued slowly. "And I threw him from the mountain-top. Here I remember only this. I lay there, my mind in darkness, for what seemed to be an eternity. It was like I left this earth and walked down unspoken roads, but I was sent back to the mountaintop. I lay there until the eagle lord Gwaihir found me, and he carried me to Lothlorien, as the Lady Galadriel bade him do. There I recovered and was clothed, and my robes shone white.  I now bring to you messages from Galadriel."

Gimli cheered up immediately as Gandalf opened his mouth again to speak. "To Aragorn, she bade me to say:

                _Where now are the Dunedain, Elessar, Elessar? _

_Why do thy kinsfolk wander afar?_

_Near is the hour when the Lost should come forth,_

_And the Grey Company ride from the North._

_But dark is the path appointed for thee: _

_The Dead watch the road that leads to the Sea._

                To Legolas, she says:

                                _Legolas Greenleaf, long under tree_

_                                In joy thou hast lived, beware of the sea!_

_                                If thou hearest the cry of the gull on the shore, _

_                                Thy heart then shall rest in the forest no more."_

                Gandalf fell silent for a moment with closed eyes, pondering the meaning of this. 

Gimli frowned. "Is there no message for me?" he asked keenly, looking at his feet.

                "The messages are dark." Legolas commented, and felt rather embarrassed. He was thinking that Galadriel was mentioning his false bout of sea longing in Lothlorien, or that it made some reference to the voice. He quickly dismissed that thought, and concluded that Galadriel was really warning him of sea longing. "I like them not."

                "I would rather receive an unhappy message from the Lady than no message at all." Gimli said glumly.

                Legolas opened his mouth to say otherwise, but remembered how Gimli revered Galadriel, and thought it far better to say naught. Besides, Gandalf was still talking.

                "I'm sorry, Gimli, but I was merely thinking about the meaning of the other messages, and I forgot about yours. Here it is:

                                _To Gimli son of Gloin, give his lady's greetings._

_                                Lock-bearer, wherever thou goest my thought goes with thee._

_                                But have a care to lay thine axe to the tight tree!"_

                Gimli's face brightened with the message and he jumped out, singing in his dwarf tongue happily, oblivious to their startled looks. "Ah, Gandalf, I am happy that you are here with us again." He declared, but sobered up. "And now that you are here," Gimli ventured carefully, looking to Aragorn, "there is more we should say to you."

                Aragorn nodded in agreement solemnly, and chanced a glance at Legolas, who stiffened visibly. He felt uncomfortable discussing it like this; Aragorn knew it would shame Legolas, but it had to come out and he thought that now would be the best time.

                "Perhaps Legolas should speak." Aragorn proposed, thinking maybe Legolas could save more dignity that way.

                Gandalf turned expectantly towards the frightened elf.

                A thin sheen of cold sweat was on Legolas' face, and he was afraid. 

                _This is utterly ridiculous. I should not be frightened at the prospect of talking about this with Gandalf. This is not disgraceful, merely necessary. My heart tells me it will be fine, but my head thinks that I will be shamed. Oh, Mithrandir, since you have returned, everything is well again, but not quite wholly. This is a shadow that looms over me._

Legolas looked into Gandalf kindly face, recalling how trusting and good their friendship was, and willed himself to calm down.  He opened his mouth, trying to speak, but his dignity prevented him from saying anything. He shook his head helplessly and looked at his hands.

                "I cannot do this." He stated, in a voice that was quite detached, and it pleased him to know he sounded so serene. "But I trust Aragorn and Gimli to tell it as it happened."  
  


                Gandalf had watched Legolas closely while he struggled to speak, and found himself concerned. He had known the Legolas for what was like a lifetime and had never seen him this hesitant and unsure of himself. 

                He studied Legolas closer, and realized that although his face still youthful, his eyes were drawn. His face still glowed with an ethereal elven light, but Legolas held the thin look of the suffering, and he was paler than normal for an elf. But Legolas also held the look of the recovering, and he had sung but a while ago and still had the heart to be merry.

                Gimli bit his lip, thinking hard. "I suppose it began at Khazad Dum." He said, lowering his eyes. "When we all thought you had fallen to the Balrog.  See, we all grieved deeply for you, all of us, but I believe that none felt your loss as greatly as Legolas."

                Aragorn was surprised at the dwarf's simple eloquence, and continued for him. "As you know, we journeyed to Lothlorien. We all felt your absence so much that we did not truly see how disconsolate Legolas was, and I blame only myself for that. You asked me to carry on and lead the Fellowship on, but I did not see where I was failing."

                Legolas held his breath in tightly; he didn't want to listen even further. But he was torn. Aragorn and Gimli were saving his honor, while he had always believed it to be his own fault and shameful. They were being kind and gentle, and he felt that he might have to listen to what they had seen and felt out of respect.

                Gimli smiled suddenly with great affection. "I think it was in Lothlorien that Legolas and I finally bridged the abyss between elves and dwarves and became friends. After we met the lady, he took me to see the woods even though he was sorely troubled, and his kindheartedness softened by stubborn heart."

                "Troubled?" Gandalf repeated quietly. 

                "Yes." Legolas startled the others and himself by taking the initiative and speaking. "I thought that your death was my own burden. I thought that I should have run forward to help you up from the ledge, to catch your hand when you began to fall. And after you fell, I thought that I could climb down to find you." His face was darkened with the shadow of the leaves. "At Lothlorien, I was mourned so deeply that I began to think that I had killed you."

                "Surely not!" Gandalf cried. "If you had killed be by not running forwards, then I have been slain by every member of the Company."

                "But that is what I thought." He repeated.  "I was the elf, the nimble and sure-footed one, the most able to save you." Legolas searched his memories for all his feelings at the time, to pour them into his tale. "And because I was so lost in grief, I no longer guarded my mind as we are taught to do. So I let in some shadow, a mere voice, enter my head and whisper cruel things to me."       

                Gandalf remained expressionless, and only motioned for Legolas to go on.

                "And it told me that I was unworthy to be an elf, a prince, and a part of the fellowship. It said I was weak and helpless, that I could not hope to protect others if I could not protect myself. And it encouraged the thought that I had killed you." Legolas said, his heart aching as he remembered how he believed what he heard.  "I began to doubt my friends, Galadriel, and Haldir. Even if you returned then, I might have not trusted you."

                Gimli was very pained to listen to this side of Legolas' suffering; it was the part he had never heard, for it was all in Legolas' mind. He wondered if he could have kept his wits as well as Legolas if it ever happened to him.

                "It spoke to me only in the beginning. Yet it grew stronger as I lost my will to fight anything, and one night it took control of my actions." Legolas trembled slightly, even though the air in the forest was warm and thick. "I tried to fight it, but I had not the heart. I became senseless drunk, and I ran deep into the woods of Lothlorien, mad."

                Gandalf was disturbed. The look on Legolas' face was difficult to behold, it showed both profound sorrow and humiliation, and it seemed that he did not want to speak further.  _"Ab hain?" _He prodded gently._ (And after?)_

Legolas did not continue in elvish for Gimli's benefit. "I marred the woods by painting the trees in my own blood." He whispered, shut his eyes to hold back threatening tears. Legolas swallowed hard and looked down, distressed. Legolas could not look into Gandalf's wise eyes anymore, for they were stunned.

                His words hung in the hair, and even the trees seemed to rumble at the news. 

                "No." Aragorn said suddenly and firmly. "You did not do anything. You were being held by some evil. It was not you."

                Legolas was still unable to look up and face his friends. _"Mithrandir, im-"_

"Don't try to apologize, Legolas, for it was not your doing." Gandalf said, and relief flooded into Legolas' being. "Please continue."

                "There is not much more to say. It is all the same. Galadriel had asked Gimli and Aragorn to administer me a potion that would put me to sleep, more or less, but it still reached me. But my father," Here Legolas smiled fondly, "also spoke to me under the potion. And he gave me strength and courage. But the potion did not work, and so all that could be done was to have Aragorn and Gimli watch me carefully. I once mistook Aragorn for an enemy and we did battle, although good Gimli stopped us."

                "Yes, I remember." Aragorn added wanly. "He nearly took my head."

                "And would have taken mine too." Gimli said proudly, forgetting his terror that night.

                "Then I began to recover from it, until it took me again at Boromir's death. And after it went away, it came back again as we running through Rohan. And again, just before you were revealed to us again." Legolas said, but his eyes were so alight with joy and hope that it seemed to burn with the radiance of the stars. "But Gandalf, it came because I believed that I murdered you. It is a liar, for you are back, whole and well, and it cannot be believed. All is good again, and I am recovered."

                "What then, exactly, is 'it'?" Gandalf asked carefully.

                Legolas appeared uncertain. "The voice that spoke to me."

                "But it never showed itself to you?"

                "No." Legolas knew this for sure. "When my father asked me to be strong and to fight it, I demanded that it show itself to me, so I could see my foe. But it would not."

                The wizard sighed heavily, and rubbed his staff with a thumb.

                Gimli leaned forward. "Gandalf, do you know what it is?" 

                Aragorn sensed that Gandalf was either unsure or worried, but did not speak of this. Legolas' hope was luminous, and to tell him otherwise was to be as cruel as the voice. He would not be the one cause the elf's face to be shadowed with the knowledge that he was not yet completely healed.

                "I do not know for certain." Gandalf said gently. "And I do not know for sure that my return has healed you." He placed an arm on Legolas' shoulder. "But you go with the blessing of Galadriel, Thranduil, Elrond, and probably by the Lady of the Stars herself. You have gone through immense pains for my memory, Legolas, and I shall never forget how you suffered for our friendship."

                Legolas was silent and still. "I had sung to Elbereth for protection, and she surely heard me if you have returned." He heard himself say. Gandalf's words had sent a cold shudder through him, for it Gandalf did not know, then it was likely that no one else knew either. 

                "I would have you believe that." Gandalf said quietly.

To be continued… eventually….

Okay… I'm sorry again… I have less than 5 minutes to finish this section. So here is my big condensed version to all the readers and to those who reviewed, (and you guys know who you are): THANK YOU!! And thanks so much for being patient about this, but once this school year is over, I'll be back to writing normally. So, I PROMISE, I swear on my ripped apart in a temper tantrum then redone molecule that's due way too soon, that I'll be back to normal updating by mid-June. Until then, it'll be occasional, whenever I have the opportunity to sit for a few minutes at the comp where I'm not typing up essays, labs, or exam notes.

And on a side note, I sometimes have notices up in my bio section so you can check there to see how things are going, if something has come up, if a new chapter will be up soon, etc., so it might be a good idea to check there if I disappear in my work for a while.

Once this rush is over, I'll write a ten-page chapter to make up for all my misdeeds….I apologize yet again… life is crazy. (And I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.)

-Princess_yumin


	19. Everything and Nothing

Color of Distress

Disclaimer  - Every character is the work of Tolkein, and I am merely a Tolkein wannabe who can only try to be at his brilliant level of writing. In any case, I'm only doing this for enjoyment.

A/N: This is a short chapter, which explains a whole ton of 'stuff'. My plans about the voice have changed slightly, and you won't be able to see who/what it is until a bit later. I'm still very sorry about my lack of updates, and I still have then 10 page update in mind for the end of school…

Chapter 19 – "Everything and nothing."

                Gimli stood up, scratching his ear. "Well, I think I'll go for a drink of water." He nodded in the direction of the stream they had passed not long before. "Are you coming, Legolas?"

                "I suppose." He replied, standing up. "But only to accompany you to see that you do not take that axe to the trees." Legolas added with a twinkle in his eye.

                Gimli chuckled. "No, I would not do that."

                Gandalf shook his head. "I will wait here. My old bones want some rest for the journey ahead."

                "Yes, go on. We'll be here." Aragorn said, content to be sitting and resting for a while.

                "Come then, Legolas, we shall leave them to their own devices." Gimli announced, and went shambling off, his heavy gait contrasting sharply with Legolas' lithe steps.

                The man and wizard sat in silence after their companions had left. Gandalf was sorely worried for Legolas. He only had a very vague idea of what was plaguing Legolas, and he felt that it was something that was better not to speak of.

                "Legolas isn't cured as he believes, is he?" Aragorn asked, staring up into the canopy of trees.

                "No." Gandalf said finally. "His torment was not a lie, but it lied to him." He felt Legolas' burden weight heavily on his heart, and he did not want to tell the elf the truth. 

                "You know what it is." It was a statement, one very firmly pronounced by Aragorn, and Gandalf wished it were a question instead. A question would have been easier to answer.

                "Yes." Gandalf said slowly and heavily. "Yet I do not know if it is better to realize what this malady is or not to know at all." Seeing the man's expectant face, he went on, deciding to tell him. "I would expect that you have been taught about the history of Arda and how it began."

                Aragorn nodding, wondering where Gandalf was going with this.

                "Then you know how Manwë, the lord of the Ainur, had a brother, whose name should not lightly taken. Melkor, he was called, then later renamed Morgorth by the elves. Sauron was once his captain. But this has little to do with Sauron, and I only spoke of it to emphasize the strength of Morgorth. He was once of the Ainur as well, and Manwë's own brother. Morgorth was jealous of his brother, and sought to usurp him. He was defeated, of course and set to imprisonment in Mandos for a time. Shortly after this, the elves were awakened into the world, and then Melkor was released from his prison. He pretended to repent for a while, but returned to Aman to destroy Laurelin and Telperion, the Two Trees. And then he stole the Silmarils, jewels from the trees which were created by Fëanor, and set them into his crown."

                "I do not understand." Aragorn said. "What does this have to do with Legolas?"

                "Nothing and everything." Gandalf replied. "For the stealing of the Silmarils in itself has nothing do to with what Legolas is going through now, but the hate and fear that began between the elves and Morgorth through that one act is everything. I will not go into detail about all the wars and kingdoms of the first age, but Morgorth was defeated again and thrown into the Outer Dark by the end. But terrible things had happened, things that will never be forgotten by the kindred of the elves. For in those times, dreadful oaths were sworn, there was a time of kin-slaying, and curses would rain upon the earth to haunt its people."

                "Has one of these curses landed on Legolas' head?"

                "Perhaps, perhaps not." Realizing Aragorn's frustration at his evasive answers, Gandalf smiled slightly. "I do not know for sure, and I do not want to answer anything conclusively until I do. I believe that Legolas is descended from Finrod, whose uncle was Fëanor. Fëanor had sworn and oath with his sons to reclaim the Silmarils, and that nothing would stand in their way. Do you know the story of Beren and Luthien?"

                Aragorn was startled, for it had much to do with himself. "Yes. Beren was a man who wanted to marry Luthien, daughter of Thingol."

                "Good, good." Gandalf looked like a teacher at that moment that was pleased with a bright pupil. "It is complicated, but Finrod had sworn to come to Beren's aid when needed. The bride price of Luthien set by Thingol was a Silmaril, and so Beren sought the aid of Finrod. By going on this journey, he crossed the paths of Fëanor's sons, and they went to his people, claiming that he was won over by a mere man. He journeyed with Beren and ten of his companions, but they were captured at Tol Sirion by Sauron, who set on them a werewolf that consumed one of them each night. After ten nights, the werewolf came for Beren, but Finrod, in his last courageous effort, burst the chains that bound him and slew the werewolf. But Finrod was mortally wounded, and died there that night. Beren went on and won a Silmaril from Morgorth, and because of Finrod's help, Fëanor's sons, his cousins, may have cursed him for it. They believed it was only theirs by birthright."

                "Do you mean to say that Legolas is cursed by the House of Fëanor?" Aragorn was thunderstruck. He had never known elves to be malicious; it was an astounding thought to him.

                "The seed of hate was planted there by Melkor, and so it was Melkor's doing. The sons of Fëanor were merely blinded by pride and lust." Gandalf said wearily. 

                "And it is Morgorth who speaks to him?"

                "No." Gandalf said sharply. "That is not possible. He has been thrown out of Middle Earth, and he shall never return. But some of those loyal to him remain yet on Middle Earth, always watching for weaknesses in the elves, for it was they who banished Melkor with the help of the Valar." 

                 "Might it be Sauron?" Aragorn asked.

                Gandalf snorted. "Sauron has long since abandoned his old master, and could care less about his loyalty to Morgorth now that he is gone."

                "Then who could it be?"

                "That is what troubles me."

                "Why do you look so serious?" Gimli asked loudly as he and Legolas returned.

                "It's nothing." Aragorn said, forcing a smile onto his face. "We were just speaking of Sauron." He studied Legolas discreetly, noticing his returned innocence and youthfulness, and his heart ached for his friend all the more.

                "Ah, yes." Gandalf said. "Speaking of Sauron, I have much to tell you. Your quest is now changed. You shall no longer search for dear Merry and Pippin, for they are now in sturdy, safe hands."

                "Where are we going, then?" Gimli asked, sitting down heavily.

                "To Rohan, to the Hall of King Théoden, for a shadow now approaches him and our help is greatly needed." Gandalf said.

                "But will we see the hobbits again?" Legolas asked.

                "I have left them in the care of the ents, and they shall be safe. And unless Gimli dares to hack at Treebeard with his axe, I daresay they shall remain safe and will meet with us again. As for Frodo and Sam, they are not in the safest place on earth, but it is much safer now as war looms."

                "Speak plainly," Aragorn said with a smile, "For I am no longer in my youth, and riddles ache my head."

                "Sauron assumes that company is headed for Minas Tirith, for if he were us, that is where he would go. He has sent some of his army there as a result, and so his fortress in Mordor is not so carefully watched. Sam and Frodo will manage to slip through. And Saruman is a double traitor, for he has betrayed Sauron. He now seeks the ring as well, but cannot directly wage war on Sauron without the ring. He believes that the ring may have come into Théoden's possession, and now is about to wage war on Rohan."

                "Ah. I see. It makes sense now." Gimli said unconvincingly. "Although I do not fully understand your counsel, I trust you, and I shall follow you."

                "As will I." Legolas said, still alight in his luminous joy.

                They followed the river Entwash back out into the plains, and the sudden sun made them blink.      

                "The horses have not returned." Gimli groused. "It will be a long and difficult walk."

                "You speak far too soon, son of Gloin." Gandalf said with a small wink. He whistled three piercing notes into the still air, and they were amazed to hear such loud and clear whistles coming from Gandalf's bearded lips. They waited for a time, and soon heard the sound of approaching hoof beats.  

                "Why, there is more than one horse coming!" Aragorn exclaimed after a moment of listening.

                "Of course. The four of us would be too much a burden for one horse." Gandalf said.

                "My good friend Arod approaches with Hasufel!" Legolas cried as the horses neared them. "And another horse, once so great that I have never seen the like of it before."

                "And you may never see another horse like this again." Gandalf said, reaching his arm out to the white horse and fondly caressing him. "Shadowfax is the king of the Mearas. Is he not a beautiful horse?"

                Arod nickered gently and put his head on Legolas' shoulder, who reached up to pat him. "He is." A dawning realization hit him. "The other night, when our horses fled, they were really running to meet their king." He sprang lightly up onto Arod's back. "Will you ride with me, Gimli?"

                "I think it best that Gimli sits before me, with Shadowdfax's leave. Arod is a good horse, but Gimli is a burden that Arod will begin to feel after the distance we will be traveling, something that Shadowfax will not mind." Gandalf said.

                Aragorn mounted Hasufel. "Will it be long to Théoden's hall?"

                Gandalf helped Gimli up before him, who sat rather uneasily. Gimli would have preferred to ride with Legolas, for their talking would diminish his clumsiness in riding, but said nothing. He concentrated on sitting firmly in his seat.

                "It will be several hours yet." Gandalf replied, climbing up behind Gimli. "I believe we will be there by tomorrow morning, as Shadowfax will find for us the quickest way there. Now his spoke softly to Shadowfax, who set off at a good pace, with Hasufel and Arod following quickly.

                They rode on for many hours more, until the sun began to sink into the west, casting a red and bloody tint into the sky. There was heavily smoke rising with the falling of the sun, darkening it quickly.

                "What is that smoke there, Gandalf?" Legolas called.

                "Battle and war."

To be continued….

The only thing that is allowing me to update on schedule today is my throat infection. I didn't go to school, and I went to the doctor's instead, who thought I had SARS and made me wear a mask and disinfect my hands. And then later he said I only had a throat infection and gave me strawberry flavored antibiotics because I can't swallow pills. My throat kills. I feel like I'm swallowing a toad that's covered in sandpaper. And I really don't want to eat and drink because I don't want to swallow. But ice cream's okay. It's nice and cooling.

Can you tell that I've just read the Silmarillion??? My god, I thought it was brilliant. I cried and cried and cried through some parts, especially when I read about Thingol and Melian. I don't know why, though, I just thought it was sad. Thanks to all my reviewers, who have given me all the encouragement to go on with this!! Much thanks to: Zerocool, Syslink, Colleti, Lirenel, Aithne, WispyKitty, krisnkriss, Elf-Formally-Known_as-Legolas, Kaimelieamin, Silent Angel, Tralaa laaa

Burning Tree: Oh my gosh. I have that same problem when I'm trying to explain and analyze writing. It's crazy… but I have my trusty thesaurus!!! (And on a side note… what a synonym for thesaurus???)

Musicgrl: I foresee another at least another five chapters. Or who knows… maybe more. It all depends on the length of the individual chapter because some are longer than others, and that determines how much of the story I cover.

The Dark Rogue: Does anyone else have this problem with writing Rouge instead of Rogue?? I keep typing Rouge unintentionally. I'm sorry that I've not been able to review you at all because of my schedule, I'll try to get in touch as soon as possible. And with the amount of free time I have, that might be in 2008. ^_^ And I'm in Grade 11, AND I'm in the aftermath of the double cohort. Stupid, stupid, government. Stupid stupid Education system. Why must we have knowledge???

Erhothwen: I actually think that the Road Runner is an ingenious, mature character. He's a bird, he's nice, and he's almost never violent. Sorta like Legolas. Waaaaiiiitttt a minute. Did I just insult dear Legolas??? *runs and begs mercy before the great statue of Legolas.* As penance, I will stop writing Legolas angst and let him prance in a field of sunshine, butterflies, and flowers.

Soulsearcher: I've gotten far too lazy to type out Arbariel. And I've also just learned how to spell it. Meh….  OMG. SUHET will utterly annihilate Peter Jackson if Saruman slips on that Jello. And so will the rest of the world. Did you know that the sound E.T. makes when he walks around is really the sound of someone squishing Jello between their hands??? (The things I know… sometimes I wonder. And how on earth did I get so off topic???) I LOVE the snoopy dance.

Liana Dimnauriel 1.0: *hangs head* It was a lot longer than those 7 days you set out for me…. But no matter. All will be well in the end, because summer vacations are coming…the anticipation is killing me.

Lady Daine: *dives into Mount Doom to get the court order* Um…. *holds up charred remains* Will this work??? And in Euros!! That's so cool. How does the whole Euro thing work? Does it work everywhere in Europe?? Is it the same as a dollar Canadian?? Um… yep. Now you get to see my utter naiveté and stupidity in 'international' matters. *sits in the corner, sheepish*

Dreamkeeper: Legolas better not kiss me right now, unless he really wants a bad throat infection…. ^_^

Reginabean: Unfortunately, I'm still alive. Wait a bit. Unfortunately??? I totally meant fortunately. Except right now I'm not too sure because I feel like a living ball of antibiotics and misery.

Merrylyn: I got that alert thing at www.billyboyd.net . I was reading through some of Billy Boyd's stuff, and at the bottom of the webpage was that quote. I thought it was smashing, and it's my favorite thing to say in physics class now.

This will be the last update in a while. Nest week is review week, and after that are the finals, and I will be up to my strained from reading textbook eyeballs in work. I will try as hard as I can to get another chapter in for the next two weeks, and after that will come the 10 pages of the  make up chapter I promised. Good luck to everyone who has final exams coming up as well!


	20. Believe in Everything

Color of Distress (Finally updated in honor of the release of the trailer of Return of the King.)

Disclaimer – Everything belongs to Tolkien. If I had it my way, well…we'll leave it at that.

A/N: I'm so so so so so so so sorry. Another note to come after the chapter.

Chapter 20  - "…believe in everything " 

                They continued to ride through the night. A bitter chill began to whip through the lands, chilling them and making their hands cold and stiff. Gandalf finally allowed them to stop and rest when Gimli nearly fell off of his horse in exhaustion.

                Aragorn climbed stiffly off his horse, weary, and immediately lay down on the ground a short distance away, falling asleep quickly. Gimli followed and curled up in the grass, tucking his cloak about him to ward off the cold air. 

                Legolas did not rest, for the chilling wind exhilarated him, and although his legs were sore from the long and hard ride, he felt awake and alert. He went to stand with Gandalf and Shadowfax.

                "You should be resting." Gandalf said as he approached.

                Legolas shook his head. "I am not tired." He said, and they stood in companionable silence for a time, Gandalf looking out across the plains, while Legolas turned his eyes heavenward. 

                Legolas had a feeling of calm and peace descend upon him, and for the first time since he left Mirkwood for the council, he felt settled and contented. He savored it, for he realized it would not last with looming war. The wind blew again, causing their cloaks to swirl around them, and Legolas shivered suddenly. It ceased to invigorate him, and he now felt empty and cold. He felt a chill creep into him slowly, and it began to seep into his very being, as if it was trying to capture him.

                 Gandalf turned to look at Legolas sharply when he began to shiver in the cold. "Legolas?" he called softly, mindful of Aragorn and Gimli.

                The elf's face was still turned up to the sky, and he didn't appear to have heard.

                "Legolas." Gandalf said, louder, reaching out to nudge him with a hand.

                A ripple of consciousness went through him, who turned his head to look at the wizard. Gandalf was thoroughly chilled by his expression. Legolas was gone, and out through the same ice blue eyes stared something dark.

                Gandalf gripped his staff tightly, suddenly wary of this being that stood before him. "Who are you?" he demanded with all the authority he could muster.

                He spoke with the voice of Legolas, yet it was not the same as Legolas'. It was rough, and the lilting tones Gandalf was used to hearing was starkly absent. "I do not reveal that."

                "And you are the one causing my friend all this suffering?" Gandalf asked severely.

                "He would not suffer if he did not fight." 

                Gandalf chuckled humorlessly. "You would expect Legolas to simply give in?" It felt strange to Gandalf, speaking to Legolas when he was referring to him, but he reminded himself that it was not his friend who was talking.

                "His character was gentle enough for me to believe that."

                "You chose wrongly. He is gentle, I quite agree, but he also has valor and strength." Gandalf said, feeling his first triumph over it. "And when did you decide to hold power over Legolas?" he asked, suddenly disconcerted by the malevolent look in Legolas' face.

                "In Mirkwood."

                "I see." Gandalf narrowed his eyes, tiring of this roundabout interrogation. "If you will not tell me who you are, tell me what you are."

                Legolas' lips turned up into a mocking smile. "I am of your kind."

                Gandalf breathed in sharply. "Saruman." He hissed.

                Again he smiled, and turned up his shoulders in an insolent shrug. "You go to Rohan to aid Théoden. That venture is utterly foolish, and I tell you now, you will fail."

                Gandalf lost his temper now, which he had held tightly in check, and held his staff before him threateningly. "Leave him be." He growled. "Be gone!" To his surprise, it did not fight, and did as it was told, leaving quickly with a departing shadow from the eyes of Legolas.

                Color returned almost violently back to Legolas' face, making his pale cheeks pink. His eyes once again saw, and he blinked several times in a lost fashion. He was shaking hard, and fell suddenly to the ground.

                Gandalf knelt by Legolas and took his hand. "You are fine." He said immediately, reassuring himself as well.

                The color that had rushed into his pale face vanished as quickly as it came, making his skin appear translucent. And more terrible than his strained face was the look of defeat and acceptance in his eyes.

_"Mithrandir, ha ped hein-na o agar nothrim." _Legolas whispered, his eyes fixed to the sky, unable to look at Gandalf. (It said it is of your kindred.) Just as he was about to faint, his lips moved again, and Gandalf leaned down to hear it. 

"_Nan ha no pedo pan thenid a perya thenid." _(But it always speaks of untruths and half-truths.)

                This sorely troubled Gandalf. He had wanted to prolong Legolas' time of recovery, and the mystery of the voice now affected him as well. It knew they were headed for Theoden's hall, and if it was indeed Saruman…

                Gandalf sighed heavily and decided to cast a simple spell on Legolas, to make him forget the cursed night. Then again, another spell, one more complex, but one that Gandalf felt necessary.  He knew there was no sense in it, but Gandalf felt like he had betrayed Legolas' full trust in him. He prayed that it would not return to plague him again until he had an appropriate time to speak with Legolas about it.  
  


                Gimli was shaken awake by Gandalf, whom he assumed had stayed watchful throughout the night. Aragorn was already awake, drinking water from a flask by the horses. Gandalf moved on to wake Legolas, who remained stubbornly asleep.

                Gimli grinned; it was so unlike the elves. He crawled over to Legolas, and was about to shout in his ear when Gandalf put out a warning hand.

                "Disturb him not."                

Gimli shrugged, though he thought it unfair. He went over to where Aragorn stood and rummaged around for some water, watching Gandalf from the corner of his eye. He was not sure if the wizard was deliberately doing it, but his back was turned to hide Legolas from view. After a moment, he stood up and leaned up on his staff and quietly spoke with Legolas, who yawned delicately and sat up.          

 "Good morning!" Gimli called loudly to Legolas, who stood up and stretched, looking much refreshed.

"And to you." Legolas replied with a smile, and turned back to Gandalf, who looked grim. He noted this but assumed the wizard was just grouchy from his long night.

"How was your sleep?" Gandalf asked, already knowing the answered.

"For the first time in several days, I slept well." Legolas admitted. "No doubt I was comforted by your nearby presence."

Gandalf forced a smile, then turned away to hide the distressed look on his face.

They continued to ride on through the day without stopping, and pushed on throughout the night. Arod once shifted tiredly under Legolas, but continued to follow Shadowfax unfailingly.  Legolas reached out and stroked the horse's mane reassuringly.

"It will be but a while more." Legolas told the horse.

When the sun finally rose, Gandalf stopped and pointed before him. "Look." He said. Stretching before them was a long and wide valley, further along was mountains, and in the distance rose a sharp peak. "Legolas, what do you see?" Gandalf asked, more for the benefit of Aragorn and Gimli.

Legolas shaded his eyes from the rising sun with a hand. "Upon the peak stands a hall of men, and a great fence surrounds it. There also stand many houses, yet the hall itself seems to be thatched with golden straw, for it glows with a golden light."

 "There stands the court of Edoras, the home of Théoden, the king of the Rohan." Gandalf said. "War is upon their land, and we would do well to be wary here. There is no need to rouse their anger unnecessarily."

As they approached the great hill, several men dressed in bright armor motioned them to stop. "We have been watching you as you crossed the plain. Who are you? Your dress is not ours, but you ride our horses. And that one," the guard indicated Shadowfax, "is one of the Mearas, unless we have all gone mad. Tell us, are you spies from Saruman? Speak quickly!"

"They are an impatient lot." Gimli said dryly in an undertone to Legolas, who rolled his eyes in response.

"These are indeed your own horses, " Aragorn replied. "I ride Hasufel, which was lent to us by the third marshal of the mark, Eomer, two days past. And Arod has faithfully carried my friends. We are returning them as we promised Eomer."

"We no longer speak of him," the front guard replied, but their wariness seemed to ease a bit. "But I know believe that your coming was expected, for Wormtongue told us two nights ago not to let anyone pass through these gates.

Gandalf disregarded his own advice and raised his voice at them. "Wormtongue?" he said sharply. "I have no business with him. We come looking for your king, and we are in a great hurry. Let us see your lord."

The guard shrugged. "And what names shall I present to them?"

"I am Gandalf, and you have judged correctly that my horse is of the Mearas. You look upon Shadowfax. Here is Aragron, son of Arathorn, the heir of kings. That is Legolas the elf, and Gimli the dwarf, who are our noble companions." Gandalf said, a little more courteously. 

He was startled, but agreed to go in and announce them, telling them to wait there a short while for the reply.

The guard returned soon with another man who looked rather apologetic. "My name is Hama, the door ward of Théoden. You will be admitted in to see the King," he said, "but I must ask to take your weapons while you visit."

Gimli snorted. "I'd rather that nothing would touch my axe besides my own hands and a miserable orc."

"I too, would rather that no one else touch my sword." Aragorn said flatly.

Gandalf looked at them sternly but spoke cheerfully to Hama. "I'm sure we can work this out. Gimli, Aragorn, lay your weapons over there, and I'm sure this gentleman will let no one touch them."

They did as they were told, somewhat reluctantly. Hama turned to Legolas, who slowly unbuckled the strap across his shoulder that kept the bow and arrow. He held it tenderly for a moment.

"Watch over these carefully," Legolas said quietly, adding his white knife to the pile. "The Lady of Lothlorien gifted them to me, and are very dear to me."

Legolas felt that his time at Lothlorien was eons ago, so long it made him ache with longing. He felt a sudden foreboding that it was not for him to visit there again, and it caused him to feel old, older than Gandalf looked. He looked at Aragorn, as if it would make he feel better, but felt another wave of uneasiness. Legolas never thought of Aragorn as old, but now, he saw the human weakness. Weariness lined Aragorn eyes as never before, and he looked so tired. Legolas shivered, and wished this feeling of oldness and death would leave him be. 

"Here my sword will keep theirs company." Gandalf announced, laying his sword next to Gimli's axe. Now he turned expectantly to Hama. "Now, let us see your king."

The man looked more embarrassed, if anything. "I'm terribly sorry, but I must beg you to leave your staff."

"Nonsense!" the wizard exclaimed, suddenly grabbing Legolas' arm as if he needed support to stand up. "It is one thing to request our weapons, but an old man's walking stick is foolishness. Surely you will not make me part with it."

Hama studied the staff and Gandalf's face and nodded. "I feel that you are people of honor, and would not betray my trust in you. You may enter, then."

Guards swung open the doors, and they walked in slowly, Legolas still at Gandalf's arm. It was dim inside the hall, but after his eyes adjusted, Legolas saw the tapestries and admired them in amazement.            

In the middle was a great gilded dais, and on it sat an old wizened man, while a woman with golden hair stood behind him. Near his feet sat a pale man with greasy looking hair.

Legolas forgot the glory of the wall hanging immediately and wanted to gag. He distrusted the pale man already, but the king looked like death himself. He gripped Gandalf's arm tightly, thankful that it was there for support.

Théoden stood up slowly and began speaking to Gandalf, hobbling a bit closer to them, and Legolas could not bear to listen. Instead, he just stared at him, horrified that such an ancient creature could exist. Would it not be better to be dead, than dragging on in life? He looked again at Aragorn, trying to see him at such an age. Ultimately, Legolas' eyes were drawn back to Théoden, to his mottled skin and strangely bright eyes. 

The voice was silent, but Legolas' could feel its will. It wanted him to be repulsed. It wanted him to be afraid of this old man. Legolas pressed his lips together and clutched Gandalf harder, willing himself not to faint.

Legolas felt Gandalf shake his arm slightly in his grasp. The next thing he knew, voices grew louder, especially Gandalf's, who tore himself away from Legolas.

 Legolas soon saw why. Gandalf had thrown aside his tattered cloak, and raised his staff. There was a rumble of thunder, and said something threatening to the pale man, who hissed something to the King.

He now saw clearly what was happened. There was a spell on the king, a terrible one, and the pale man was controlling Théoden, whispering poisonous things to him, telling him lies. Legolas was ashamed. He felt revolted by Théoden, but he himself was in the same position. Legolas wondered distantly if he appeared the same way Théoden looked to his friends.

Gandalf seemed to have realized too, and spoke to Théoden directly, words that hit Legolas deeply. "Not all is dark, Lord of the Mark. Take heart, for no better help would you find in me. I bring counsel, and that in itself is good, for I would not counsel those who have no hope left."

Théoden rose from his seat wonderingly, walking towards the door.

"You will find there is much light beyond this room." Gandalf said encouragingly, and turned to the woman, who had hurried to Théoden's side. "Do not worry, Eoywn, leave your uncle in my care for a moment."

She stepped back obediently. A detached part of Legolas noticed the strange looked she gave Aragorn, one that was returned.

Guards swung open the doors, as Gandalf and Théoden walked towards the entrance. Théoden stood in the sunlight, throwing aside the walking stick he was using, and straightened his back, appearing to be much younger.

Legolas stepped beside Gimli, who looked up at him, smiling quietly to himself. "I have seen Gandalf do everything now," Legolas said confidentially to his dear friend. "And now I can believe in everything."

To be continued?

As for the question mark, it is meant to be there. I felt a sort of finality as I finished this chapter, even though things were left hanging. Unless you really think I must continue, I may leave it here to move on to a new fic I'm thinking about. Still about Legolas, only in childhood.

I want your opinion in this. If you feel I should continue, I will. If not, I'll start the next one.

I'd also like to explain why I've been away for literally months. I've explained some in my user look-up, but then again, not everyone will read that. I've been going through some bad times at home, as my parents, married for 25 years, decided to get a divorce. I won't go into details, but it's not good. After that, I've kind of lost interest in everything for a period of time. It was only with the start of school I felt that I should being doing things again, so here I am. So again, I'm really sorry, I tried to let everyone know the best I knew how.

I also want to thank everyone, anyone, who has said a kind word about my writing. I've always appreciated it, and I'm actually thinking of getting into writing instead of veterinary medicine because your support. (No more science for me… wheee!)

By the way, isn't the new trailer amazing??

Love,

Tiff.

Ps. After I get reviews in with opinions as to what to do with my fics, I'll post an announcement on my lookup letting you guys know what'll be going on.


	21. Epilogue

Color of Distress

Disclaimer – LOTR characters are not mine, but belong to Tolkien. I write only for entertainment purposes, not to make money. Don't sue me. I don't deserve it. Thank you, have a nice day.

A/N - *bows with head to ground* Forgive my utter insolence for disappearing once again!! The last year of high school and university application and scholarship getting does unfortunately take precedence over my writings, authority figures informed me. But I've applied already, I saw Return of the King literally twice in a row (that's 7 hours straight), and the first semester is almost over, so I decided to conclude this once and for all. This is an epilogue of sorts, leaving with Gimli, Aragorn, and Gandalf's thought. I cut Legolas' final role because it was leading into something of a sequel…I'll save that for a sequel, should there ever be one. ^_^ And now….with out further ado…..

Epilogue….

Gandalf

The steps of Shadowfax fall light, and yet I feel weighted down to the earth. I have lied to Legolas and Aragorn, and indirectly to Gimli. There is no curse of Fëanor, and somehow, I do not believe it is Saruman, though it is what I have told Aragorn. I do not know what it is. This is all the more ironic for all the faith and trust they place in my knowledge.

I have lied to lessen their worry. If Aragorn thinks it is Saruman, and realizes by fighting for Rohan he is trying to defeat Saruman, it would keep his mind on the battle. That is what he should focus on the most right now. And I know this is what Legolas wants. He has learned to keep this voice at bay for a while, and he does not want Aragorn and Gimli fussing over him when they must fight. 

I do have my suspicions of what it is. It is possibly an enchantment placed on Legolas in Moria or shortly after Moria. When the Balrog first appeared, Legolas obviously was afraid, an emotion quite rare for him. Whether the Balrog had the skill to place enchantments on elves I do not know, nor do I have the time to find out. War is being waged in Rohan, and I must find Eomer and his men to fight for their country.

Something more nags at my mind, yet I am hesitant to say this because I do not know what Legolas thinks of this. This voice may not be more than his own mind speaking to him. A combination of grief, guilt, and perhaps fear may have triggered it to surface. He doubted himself in Moria, and let it eat away at his mind. I wish I had certain answers for Legolas.

I have known him since he was a child, and he has come to trust me as much as his own father. It causes me great pain to know that I cannot ease his worries, and I've come to view this as a responsibility of mine. Thranduil once told me about a small rabbit Legolas accidentally killed once, and I went to visit Legolas after he held a funeral for it.

I taught Legolas about life and living things, and how things must die. Legolas had never encountered death before, and as Thranduil said, he didn't know what it meant to die. I was surprised that Legolas knew so little about the world. I had always meant to take Legolas on a journey as a child, but dark things began stirring in Mirkwood, and Thranduil could not let Legolas go. Besides, Legolas would grow to be warrior instead of company to an old man like myself. Fate had more glorious things waiting for Legolas. 

I do not think Legolas was made to be a fighter, yet his battle skills tell otherwise. He learned his lessons dutifully and discovered that he was quite proficient in it, but his heart and mind was more on exploring the forests and song. 

Speaking of the nature of his heart, I would say it is too open and tender. The nastier things in the world like to take advantage of gentle souls like him. If Legolas were indeed possessed by some demon, this would be reason why. Now that I'm thinking about it, things would be much easier if he gave some of his kind essence to Aragorn, who had hardened his heart a long time ago.

Legolas did try to soften Aragorn, and tried his best. I do believe he succeeded a bit. Legolas had a good effect on Gimli as well. That was quite a surprise, even for me, and I was actually quite amused to find out how close they actually were. Staunch companions they are now, and I think they will remain so for the rest of their days. I predict now the reconciling of the elves and the dwarves, or at least a move in that direction.  

            When I return to Helm's Deep with Eomer and his men, Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli will be there to meet me. I'm sure of it. They will not fail each other, and Legolas will not fail them.

Aragorn

            I worry for Legolas. The battle has begun. Gimli is with him at the wall now, but I cannot see them. I admire Gimli in his steadfast loyalty, and I can only pray that I live up to that. There are many times I have failed Legolas, though he was not aware of it.

            What he said that night we fought was almost true. I have sometimes wished that I were elven like him. So many problems would have been solved if I were, yet I cannot imagine lingering on for all eternity.  Death is the gift of mankind, I was once taught, and I as a Dunedain is exceptionally gifted.

            I have known Legolas my entire life. Strange now that I feel older than him.  He was always the same, of course, except he looks strained and tired now. But he has seen me grow up and become a man. And now I feel that I am getting old. Not old, but older. I feel weary. I want this war to end. I do not want to be noble or valiant, or any of those things the legends sing of. I want to go to a small and cozy cottage, and live my days out, as any other man.

            Once, when I was still a child, Legolas came to Rivendell. I do not remember why, but I saw him in awe. He was different from any elf I ever say before. His dress was simpler, and he seemed less interested in all the politics. I respected him greatly for that. Legolas had no care for politics, and loved the simpler things of nature. I now wish to be like that. He was open and kind, and had no arrogant airs about him. I asked him if he was Sindarin. He explained to me that although he technically was, his family adopted the Silvan ways when his grandfather went to Mirkwood. He showed me his bow and arrows, and taught me how to use one.

            Gandalf spoke to me again about this 'voice' before he left to find Eomer. He said he thought it was Saruman, for the night he came back to us, the voice returned. Gimli and I were asleep, and Gandalf spoke to it. So it was not the curse of Fëanor after all, but being possessed by Saruman is hardly comforting news. I would never doubt Gandalf, but why would Saruman try to take over Legolas? I do not think he has anything to gain from it. Frodo or myself would have been wiser a choice, not that I would wish that on him or myself. I fail to see the logic behind this. I do not know if Legolas should fight in this battle, but I know he would not have it otherwise. 

            That is another thing I admire in Legolas. He is always valiant and steadfast. He is what legends should sing of, not people in situations like my one. A simple companion, one that is kind and loyal, and very willing to be a friend. I should have been like Gimli. I should have been a better friend to Legolas. 

            And I admit I was selfish. I could not see that Legolas was under the grip of some evil, because I was too caught up in my own worries. I wish I had told him this, because the odds are very much against us in this battle.  I hope that Gandalf returns as he promised, or all hope is lost.

            It is all a matter of faith. Gimli has much faith in Legolas, and Legolas has faith in all of us. And I? I am ashamed. I have lost faith in almost everything. Even the thought of Frodo reaching Mordor is faint and distant to me now. Here I fight in the midst hopeless battle, and I cannot believe in anything anymore. 

            I see Legolas fighting now. The orcs have no chance against him, but there are thousands of orcs and only so many arrows. He fights so nimbly, while Gimli hacks away at his side, a striking difference. Something has changed in Legolas. His face shines again, and Gimli is no longer downcast. They call numbers to each other. That is clever of Gimli, distracting Legolas with a game. 

            I wish to be as light hearted as they are now. To be able to live only for the moment, and not to worry about the future. Perhaps I am looking to the future too much, and not living for now. 

            Legolas meets my eyes for a moment and offers a smile as he stows away his bow, taking out his knives in the same swift movement. This is one motion I have known forever, and I suddenly feel much better regardless of the battle.

Perhaps I do have faith, after all, just like Legolas.

Gimli

Legolas puzzles me. Well, the truth is, all elves still puzzle me. Yes, even the Lady herself makes me wonder. 

I will never say this to Legolas, but I think he feels too much, and far too deeply. I do not doubt that he suffered from that 'voice', but I wonder if it were because he's so trusting that it became so bad.  And though he is ages older than I, he is so much younger than me in every way. 

I never found out what Gandalf said to Aragorn on that day he returned to us in Fangorn, but I knew from their faces it had to do with Legolas. I meant to ask, but there was never the chance to. Perhaps after tonight, there will never be. Argh, stop it Gimli, you shouldn't think like this, not before a battle!

My family would laugh when they discover how devoted I am to Legolas, and he to I. Absurd, they would call it. I would have thought so too. But now, it seems like the most natural thing in the world. I'm told that elves and dwarves lived in friendship a long time ago, teaching each other their own crafts. Perhaps now that can happen again. Gimli, the elf-friend. Gimli, the friend to elves. I like that.

When the fellowship first began, and that feels like decades ago, I was rather irritated that Legolas had joined. Gloin told me to watch him carefully, because the elves, particularly Elrond, were greedy and wanted that ring. My father was wrong, in any case. Our time together at Lothlorien changed everything. I will never forget that place, for so many reasons. That was where I met Galadriel, where we found solace from danger, and where I first befriended Legolas. Now when I think back to it, it seems like we became friends because of the voice. Legolas took me to see the woods there, and I remember him climbing into the trees. After I climbed in after him, I saw him sitting on the edge of a branch, crying and rocking.

I realized how young he truly was then. Vulnerable and a bit naïve, too. I figured he had too sheltered of a childhood. I should have asked him about that. It would make a good story. But anyway, as he began to fall right off the branch, I knew I had to act, so I jumped and had him land on me. You'd never know how heavy Legolas really is until he falls right on you from a height. It's that damned gracefulness of his that makes him seem so light, and that is in direct contrast to me, tramping around in my armor and boots. 

Ironically, when Legolas went all wrong and fought Aragorn that night on the Anduin, some of what he said about Aragorn and Arwen where true. I don't mean that in the literal sense. I'm talking about our friendship. 

I may not be a man, but I'm not immortal either. And at some point, Legolas and I will have to part because of my death. I don't think there should ever be any other reason. And I already hurt from thinking about be separated from him. Legolas and I have been friends now for mere months, but I do not think I ever had a better friend. And that is why it hurts so much. 

It is not like me to be so morbid and think about deaths and partings. But one can't help but think like this when you have a massive orc army marching towards you, when the side you're on will barely be able to fight, let alone defend this fortress of the Rohirrim.

I do not like to admit this, but I am afraid. More afraid for Legolas than death or injury. More afraid of what would happen to Legolas if I do not come out of this battle alive. And terribly afraid that this battle might end our friendship. It is a precious thing to me, more so than any amount of mithril. Oh, my family would wet themselves if they heard that one.

My thoughts wander, when I should be readying myself for battle. Enough of these depressing thoughts! I will fight alongside Legolas, and we shall prevail. A competition of orc lives will lighten the mood here, for he looks unutterably sad, with those huge, tragic eyes. 

I cannot see over this wall in the fortress. But I can hear drums. It is beginning, I can feel it. And when it ends, no matter how it ends, Legolas and I shall be there.

The End…….

It's taken me just over a year to finish this fic. I've gotten over 400 reviews. That's like, over one a day. ^_^ I never thought it would rise to such a proportion….21 chapters. 100 pages.  My original plan was to end it at 10 chapters…I think I continued it just because of all the encouragement I received from everyone who has read this. I'd like to thank everyone one hundred times, and ten thousand and one times over.

Okay, now that I'm done with the sappiness, my absence was not completely spent on university application and a huge 45-minute seminar of Napoleon. I have begun a new fic to do with the childhood of Legolas and how things began to go slightly wrong in Mirkwood. It's called….well, I've never been wonderful at titles…Dawn, and it's going up the same time as this epilogue. So if your interested, go check it out!

And for the final time…thank you!


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